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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Common in law wife? And wills

220 replies

harvester77 · 27/12/2017 10:34

Having a conversation over Xmas with family members and they asked if my other half has done a will. We have 3 kids and his house in his name on mortgage but he said if anything happened to him in to sell the house as it's mostly paid off and get the money. But if he hasn't done a will is it possible his other family could go for the the money? What would happen to us and the kids? We don't believe in marriage a s never crossed my mind but I'm unsure of what really would happen of someone happens to him? God forbid. Thank you

OP posts:
Dontknowwherethelineis · 27/12/2017 12:42

My law degree was a very long time ago so this may not be right/up to date but I clearly remember my contract law lecturer saying that it's easy to do a legally-binding will as long as you have an independent witness and clearly state on it 'this is a will'. It's worth looking into and if it is that easy to do it for free then job done!

charlestonchaplin · 27/12/2017 12:43

When you find yourself in poverty with three children to bring up, you may suddenly find yourself believing in marriage.

Whirlytastic · 27/12/2017 12:44

Rereading the OP, it sounds like you are trying to show off - too cool for marriage, don't care if you insult people. But actually you should be panicking a little more and showing off a little less. It's not cool, in any way, to be so careless with your own future and your children's stability.

DeepanKrispanEven · 27/12/2017 12:45

Dontknow, I don't think your contract law lecturer can have studied the law on succession and probate if he thought you could make a legally binding will with one witness.

DullAndOld · 27/12/2017 12:45

" honestly thought common law wife existed'

good lord you must be really thick, to be in this situation with three kids and to have not even bothered finding out. sorry.

MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 12:47

Maybe this is one of those threads intended to be educational.

Be3Al2SiO36 · 27/12/2017 12:48

A lot of these replies are not true.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inheritance_(Provision_for_Family_and_Dependants)_Act_1975

Claims under this act are successfully and regularly bought by cohabitants and children. Even mistresses successfully make claims against an estate left to a married widow!

Then OP may have part ownership of the house already.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprietary_estoppel

The best solution is for OP to get married or failing that for OH to make a gift of an interest in the property and amend his will.

Hasten to add MN is not a legal forum.

DrPill · 27/12/2017 12:48

I know someone who'd been with someone for 25 years, had two grown-up children, a house and a life together. He died very suddenly and unexpectedly. He was only 53. He was very successful and a very high earner. They weren't married, nothing was in her name - not even a phone bill. She was legally entitled to nothing. Her lawyer told her she had fewer rights than a tenant. She had no legal proof she'd even lived there.

Buxbaum · 27/12/2017 12:48

A civil wedding ceremony (e.g. at the town hall) is totally secular, to the extent that readings and music with religious or spiritual content are strictly forbidden.

I can't quite believe that the common-law wife myth still exists to this extent. You either need to get married or see a lawyer to draw up a cohabitation agreement (which will be more expensive than a simple town hall marriage, incidentally). You and your children are very vulnerable.

DrPill · 27/12/2017 12:49

This was in the 90s so laws have changed since then. But it's a horror story no one wants to deal with.

DeepanKrispanEven · 27/12/2017 12:50

Why would you prefer all the uncertainty and expense of a claim through the courts under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act to a perfectly sensible legal arrangement?

Be3Al2SiO36 · 27/12/2017 12:50

Shit lawyer in that case DrPill

Very shit.

BluePlasticBuddha · 27/12/2017 12:50

You can go to a solicitor and get a formal cohabitation agreement I believe which is just a contract stating what happens to what and when, if you or your partner are really set against marriage.

Just go to a good solicitor and find out what your options are. Knowledge is power and all that- and right now you are so vulnerable.

Be3Al2SiO36 · 27/12/2017 12:50

Exactly what I said Deepan

splendide · 27/12/2017 12:52

I don't think your contract law lecturer can have studied the law on succession and probate if he thought you could make a legally binding will with one witness.

I'd have thought it's more likely that the poster is just forgetting the execution formalities. The principle is correct, it's very easy to do a will yourself.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/12/2017 12:53

Sadly the law is a bit far behind in many aspects for those of us who are marriage-free. There are ways to protect yourself though. Joint names on properties are one.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/12/2017 12:54

Is one.

Cupoteap · 27/12/2017 12:54

I don't understand it when people say I don't believe in marriage yet want everything a marriage affords Confused

BrownLiverSpot · 27/12/2017 12:59

Marriage is still the best way to protect you and your children in case of death/separation. You don't have to have a wedding or get married in a church - just think of it as a legal/financial contract. Better than a will in my opinion.

KatharinaRosalie · 27/12/2017 12:59

Several countries do give rights to unmarried partners - in Sweden for example you will get rights to assets acquired during the relationship if you are a couple permanently living together in a relationship with a common household. Law does not define how long you have to live together for this to happen but courts have generally said it should be at least 6 months.
In case if disputes, you would indeed have to prove you had a common household and were not just sharing a house.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 27/12/2017 13:02

Cupoteap - for lots of people, 'marriage' is reduced to 'wedding' - they don't want a wedding, so they don't bother thinking about if it'd be a good idea to be married.

Onelastpage · 27/12/2017 13:04

Ah, religion is bullshit... but not bothering to secure your children’s future by ensuring both their parents have wills (something a lot of people make sure is done as soon as they are pregnant or the first one is born) and you understand enough about the way things work to make such the roof over your/their head is secure... that’s rational decision making right there.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/12/2017 13:04

And as others have already said that puts any children of an earlier relationship at a disadvantage. If I find myself single again, I would not want a new partner to inherit the assets of my first marriage. Those are for our children.e's

10thingsIhateAboutTheDailyMail · 27/12/2017 13:05

For someone not religious, it is interesting how you operate on a "belief system" (believing in the Common LawWife myth)....Wink

Do tell us some of your other beliefs! People are happy to help ("knowledge" trumps "belief")

StrictlyPannnn · 27/12/2017 13:09

The answer "get your name on the deeds" is wildly inaccurate. A mortgage is a loan agreement . To 'add names' on a title deed means creating a new loan agreement - which the loaner may not find acceptable.