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Original poster

Common in law wife? And wills

220 replies

harvester77 · 27/12/2017 10:34

Having a conversation over Xmas with family members and they asked if my other half has done a will. We have 3 kids and his house in his name on mortgage but he said if anything happened to him in to sell the house as it's mostly paid off and get the money. But if he hasn't done a will is it possible his other family could go for the the money? What would happen to us and the kids? We don't believe in marriage a s never crossed my mind but I'm unsure of what really would happen of someone happens to him? God forbid. Thank you

OP posts:
Ilovetolurk · 27/12/2017 12:05

I know of someone who had young children with her partner. He died suddenly and she lost everything -his family took the lot, house, insurances etc

This must have been the deceased’s intention as his children not his wider family will have been his next of kin

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/12/2017 12:06

I think you’re pretty rude for someone who’s been so foolish. I have no religious faith but don’t feel the need to insult others.

Making a will is all well and good but it doesn’t help you in the event of a separation. People can and do change their minds. If you separate he can change his will. I wouldn’t rely on an amicable separation and a fair sharing of assets.

Why don’t you jointly share assets now? Aren’t you making a contribution to your family (financial or otherwise)?

ILoveMillhousesDad · 27/12/2017 12:08

It's daft saying you don't 'believe' in marriage.

It is real. It's a real thing. You might not want to get married, but marriage is a thing.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/12/2017 12:09

I know of someone who had young children with her partner. He died suddenly and she lost everything -his family took the lot, house, insurances etc

This must have been the deceased’s intention as his children not his wider family will have been his next of kin

Could be a poorly drafted will made pre-children that didn’t take account of their potential existence. You’re right though, that doesn’t happen without a will in England and Wales.

YellowFlower201 · 27/12/2017 12:12

You're not half as cool as you think desperately attempting to offend religious people whilst displaying a lack of common sense and general knowledge. Biscuit

eeanne · 27/12/2017 12:12

I honestly thought common in law wife existed. Anyway we will sort it out.

Surely this is something you look up, speak to a solicitor about? Not just “honestly think” it exists? We’re talking about the financial security for your family.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 27/12/2017 12:13

Splendie - yes, but then the obligation is towards the children, he has no responsibility to the OP. In the absence of violence/abuse, it would be very hard for her to prove the children could only be housed with her in that property, rather than with him if the children can't move for some reason.

If they split up after the youngest child has hit 18, she's no claim at all.

Having a child with someone creates a legal responsibility towards the child until they are legally an adult. It creates no legal responsibility towards the other parent independent of the responsibility to the child.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 27/12/2017 12:14

I find it appalling that in this day and age common law partners are not recognised

If you want the legal protection of marriage, you get married.

It is Unlikely I will ever marry again, but I am open to living with someone. I would live with someone precisely because I don’t want the legal protection of marriage in the event the relationship should fail. I want my stuff to remain my stuff and I want to be able to walk away tomorrow without any kind of backward glance.

It is truly terrifying how many women leave themselves open to all kinds of abuse should their relationships fail out of a lack of even basic googling of the differences between marrying someone and not marrying someone.

TheMathsTrainee · 27/12/2017 12:14

Getting married doesn’t have to involve religion at all.

You can get married by a registrar in a civil ceremony, where you are not even allowed to have content with any religious connotations. See it as a legal contract, it’s not something you believe in or not believe in. You get a contract even for taking out a mobile phone 📱.

How did society get so swept along and brainwashed with all this common law wife, marriage is just a piece of paper, it doesn’t matter, ‘honour and obey’ business blah blah. To the detriment of women.

Jaxhog · 27/12/2017 12:18

If you would enjoy living in a cardboard box on the street with your kids, then carry on as you are.

If not, PLEASE get him to write a will ASAP or just get married. Marriage is just a legal process - not need for religion or a wedding as such. Just you, him and a couple of witnesses. It's that easy. But will make a huge difference in terms of your financial safety.

greendale17 · 27/12/2017 12:19

* I think you’re pretty rude for someone who’s been so foolish. I have no religious faith but don’t feel the need to insult others.*

^This. OP sounds like she needs to grow up

Pengggwn · 27/12/2017 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2017 12:21

Agree with TheletterZ and yes to getting life insurance sorted.

I think marriage is more than a piece of paper and it confers rights but also it means it is harder to wall away from a relationship, which some people do not want.

I think we all know what the OP meant about not believing in marriage. Whatever you do OP protect your rights. I agree marriage is the easiest way to do this but what if her partner dies not agree to it?

I really hope you will find the right way to protect yourself and your kids. I agree with others marriage is best but if anything happened to my dh I don't know if would marry again.and if I ever lived with anyone I would not expect to have the provisions of marriage for me, or them.

Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2017 12:22

Does not want it..

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 27/12/2017 12:23

You'd be insane not to get married. It's just a legal contract, DH and I nipped to the registry office on a Friday after work, it took 10 mins and cost less than £100.

Simpler and cheaper than a will, although I'd advocate getting one of them as well (not instead of though).

Lanaorana2 · 27/12/2017 12:24

You'd be out on the street - his parents and kids would own the house and all his money, furniture, the lot. Make wills.

splendide · 27/12/2017 12:25

Penggwn

It used to be determined (in Scotland) by the courts in much the same way they make lots of determinations, by looking at the evidence. As I said upthread though, it now only applies to relationships that started pre 2006.

I am in two minds about it actually. I think I come down on the side of the status quo (so no common law style thing) but it's not obvious to me that this should be the case. The law does assign legal status to lots of other relationships without the parties' intentions or wishes being taken into account- employer/ employee for example and lessor/ lessee.

MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 12:30

At what point does the mythical common-law marriage kick in? Is it after 2 years? I'm sure that's what someone told me.
He was talking out of his arse. That was about 25 yrs ago and even then I knew it was meaningless.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 27/12/2017 12:30

Marriage is a legal contract. Could be handy in many possible future scenarios, to have a legal contract so that all parties know where they stand.

A wedding, on the other hand, is a party which can take whatever form you want, ie with or without religion (your choice).

expatinscotland · 27/12/2017 12:30

It's shocking people still think this is a thing.

MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 12:32

Why do people commit to making human beings with someone if they are not prepared to commit to being next of kin?

SilverySurfer · 27/12/2017 12:33

I find it appalling that in this day and age common law partners are not recognised

I don't, for all the reasons other PP have said.

I find it appalling that in this day and age people believe there is such a thing as a common law partner and have no clue that you can be thrown out on the street with no repercussions, you have zero say if your partner becomes seriously ill or dies, etc. Getting married is a contract that offers protection and religion has absolutely nothing to do with it, unless that's what you choose.

Frankiestein401 · 27/12/2017 12:35

assuming England - if you don't plan to marry then the house needs to be registered with yourself and husband as joint tenants. If there is an outstanding mortgage then you'll have to get onto the mortgage before the mortgage provider will allow the change. (if you're not on the mortgage then you won't be a joint tenant at the moment.) you can be on the mortgage without paying - it just means when he dies they have someone to go to for the mortgage

joint tenant means the house transfers automatically to the surviving tenant on death. this is outside the estate - no probate, inheritance tax etc involved.

you also need him to nominate you as partner/beneficiary and any children as dependants to his pension provider and any insurances.

for most families those actions take the estate below probate but a will is still needed if he doesnt want the family claiming his cd collection.

walls are also needed to say what you want to happen to the kids/house etc if you both die

londonrach · 27/12/2017 12:37

My aunt and uncle have just married after 30 years together dur this reason. Marriage is the best way to make sure property etc goes to your other half. No such thing as common law. In the event of your dp death everything unless you on the property deads will go his his parents etc. Not sure if half the property will go to them too. See a lawyer to get correct information.

KathArtic · 27/12/2017 12:40

I meant the whole religious bullshit of it sorry to offend (Not sorry actually

OP you are very ignorant and foolish. Instead of insulting others go and educate yourself. In fact, i hope you don't and leave yourself vulnerable.