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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP masturbating in my bed...aibu

272 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 27/12/2017 10:12

I had family over for Xmas at mine this year and stay over . Dp of 1 year joined us as he has had a difficult time recently with parents separating under very complicated circumstances. We woke up together about 8.30 and he said he hadn't slept well due to his family circumstances being on his mind. While I was comforting him, he got turned on. He was embarrassed and said to just ignore it as it was a body reaction.

I heard my family downstairs so said I was going to get u and play host and if he wanted a few minutes to rest or have to himself due to the rough night that was fine.

I went down and saw to my family, made coffee and decided to take DP a tea up to bed. When I went up to my room he was acting shifty and refused when I tried to pull back the covers for a hug. Turns out he was mastubating and watching a Pornographic video on his phone in my bed. We argued and I said he was being disrespectful lying there doing that in my bed while I'm running about after family. He was mortified and so sorry and said he was hoping it would make him feel better.

Was I being unreasonable to feel annoyed. Please note I don't have a problem with it at all, it's perfectly normal to master bate but there's times and places surely Confused

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/12/2017 10:52

What I find weird about your post is the apology for the erection, why did he do that? I also feel a bit Confused about the fact you’ve kicked off with him and are now posting it on the internet. He’s not a disgusting beast, I feel a bit sorry for him.

kaytee87 · 27/12/2017 10:52

Why was he embarrassed about having an erection?
If you object to the porn then discuss it with him, if he got anything on your bed then that's pretty horrible but other than that I'm not seeing why it's a big deal.

Elendon · 27/12/2017 10:53

Testicular fulmination Grin

What a load of wank!

Starlive22 · 27/12/2017 10:53

As much as I'd love to say I wouldn't get annoyed by this...I totally would!! It's a bit of an odd time and place to do it, especially watching a porno!

I can totally understand why people wouldn't be bothered, and under other circumstances maybe I'd be that way too but I just know if I was in that situation I'd be pissed off by it too!! Not majorly, but in an eye rolling ffs kind of way!! 🙄

teaiseverything · 27/12/2017 10:53

YABU. Unless he had porn playing through a booming sound system as a background to morning tea and coffee, he did nothing wrong.

kaytee87 · 27/12/2017 10:54

You are being totally unreasonable, and potentially injurious to his health. If men wake up with a morning glory and don’t take appropriate action then there is danger of testicular fulmination.

What rubbish. Men are perfectly able to ignore a morning glory until it goes away without it being hazardous to their health.

wrenika · 27/12/2017 10:57

I wouldn't care as long as he cleaned up after himself. I wouldn't have made a big deal out of it and embarrassed him unnecessarily either.

sugaredstrawberries · 27/12/2017 10:57

I can't believe some of the responses on this thread Shock YANBU OP.

He is in your house, it's Christmas, you've got a thousand and one things to do. He should of been busy helping you since your the one hosting a whole house of guests, including him! It's completely disrespectful IMO.

And for PP's saying he was doing it to 'de-stress' really?! Are you kidding me? It was a selfish and inconsiderate move. If he was aroused he could of tried it on with OP but he didn't, he chose instead to pleasure himself looking at other women whilst his actual woman was running around ragged.

I'm not dismissing the problems he's had with his family and feel for him, I really do. But there is a time and a place and this wasn't it. Neither was it going to make him feel any better about that particular situation Hmm

The porn would be an issue for me because I don't agree with it but that's personal opinion and down to you to decide how you feel about that but either way, yes, it was disrespectful.

mrsharrison · 27/12/2017 10:58

I don't think you're sexually compatible.

cakeymccakington · 27/12/2017 10:58

"Don't take appropriate action"

Pmsl

Buglife · 27/12/2017 10:59

I’m more confused as to why he feels the need to apologise to you for getting an erection. Do you usually tell him off for that? It sounds like there’s something a bit off in the sexual side of this relationship.

cakeymccakington · 27/12/2017 11:00

@sugaredstrawberries she told him to stay in bed! So he did. And he had a quick wank.

It's really a non-problem

DorisDangleberry · 27/12/2017 11:01

Men are perfectly able to ignore a morning glory until it goes away without it being hazardous to their health.

Not true. The Royal College of Surgeons recommends men aged between 18 and 45 masturbate 3 to 4 times a day to prevent their balls bursting. They have recently launched a campaign to encourage employers to ensure workers have enough wank breaks during the day, and a tugging safe space is available.

cakeymccakington · 27/12/2017 11:01

@doris 😂😂😂

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 27/12/2017 11:03

Agree with the (minority) YANBUs! I'd be annoyed. OP was trying to sort everything out for family / Xmas, but kindly said he should grab a few more mins to snooze / read his phone or whatever before getting up. Instead he decided to watch porn. Why are people asking when else he should've done it... Er how about when the family have gone home? When there aren't jobs to help out with? Or when he's in his own bed? The day doesn't grind to a halt because a man gets a hard on that simply MUST be attended to Hmm

kaytee87 · 27/12/2017 11:04

😂😂😂

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 27/12/2017 11:04

Hardly a 'quick wank' when he took the time searching for porn. Bleugh.

cakeymccakington · 27/12/2017 11:05

So... It would be ok if he'd slept? Read a book? Looked on Facebook?

Basically relaxed in any way other than touching his penis

Riiiiiiight.
Maybe provide a list of approved activities next time

SingingSands · 27/12/2017 11:06

What a weird post.

Your boyfriend got turned on when you were both in bed together and you were “comforting him”. Um, sounds perfectly normal, why should he feel embarrassed?

Then he has a wank in the privacy of bed and you make him feel so bad he admits to being mortified?

Are you normally quite controlling over when and where your boyfriend can experience sexual urges?

PinkyBlunder · 27/12/2017 11:09

If men wake up with a morning glory and don’t take appropriate action then there is danger of testicular fulmination.

THIS IS FUCKING HILLARIOUS GrinGrinGrinGrin

I think I’ve weed myself a bit laughing and I just KNOW I’ll be laughing about this all day 😂😂😂😂😂

Sorry OP.

category12 · 27/12/2017 11:17

How many socks are on this thread?

He'd be better using tissues, tbh.

Guavaf1sh · 27/12/2017 11:18

I was going to say YABU but the testicular fulmination cracked me up

nestletollhouse · 27/12/2017 11:19

@DorisDangleberry 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

That is all.

cherrycola2004 · 27/12/2017 11:23

Why did he say just to ignore it when he got turned on? Should have stayed and helped him out and had some fun of your own

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 11:23

@category12 I hope he doesn't have a wanksock stash!

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