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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be underwhelmed with gifts

280 replies

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:11

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

OP posts:
ChocolateRaisin09 · 25/12/2017 08:13

A poem.

Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:15

Should have said as well, no card. I always get a special card for him, and do one for DS with him. Argh! It’s just so annoying I put all this effort in and he does barely anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:15

A poem? Was it nice at least?

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 08:16

Should have said as well, no card. I always get a special card for him, and do one for DS with him

Time to stop, I would say.

The candle thing is pretty poor.

Splinterz · 25/12/2017 08:16

Why do you need a card? You live in the same house. I simply never understand the need for a card.

RickOShay · 25/12/2017 08:18

dh’s highlight one year was foot cream for cracked heelsGrin
he genuinely couldn’t work out why i wasn’t jumping for joy. After that and other unpleasant experiences I now pretty much diy my christmas,
no surprises, but no crushing dissapointments either
Hope you are ok, and manage to have a lovely day Flowers

ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 08:19

She doesn’t need a card.

Nor does her son or husband need any presents.

And nobody needs a Christmas dinner.

What’s your point? Confused

LolitaLempicka · 25/12/2017 08:19

That sounds grim. But why on earth do you buy for his family, and his work 'secret fucking Santa'? He is a grown man. No wonder he is so crap if you baby him in this way.

topcat2014 · 25/12/2017 08:20

We don't give presents to each other - it is so much easier and stress free.

I don't really like 'stuff', and DW is not into shoes/bags/makeup whatever.

Sometimes we get concert tickets if we see some we like.

We are having lasagne as well this year.

DD buys us each a present from the school Christmas fayre.

Not doing a competitive misery thread - just saying it is simpler

kaykay72 · 25/12/2017 08:20

Yanbu - it’s not about money, it’s anout the feeling that someone has put in some thought and effort xxxx

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 25/12/2017 08:21

DH and I don't swap presents, we can't afford it.

timeforabrewnow · 25/12/2017 08:22

hey ho - just as well you're a grown up then.

StripeyDeckchair · 25/12/2017 08:23

It's been 12 years and you're doing all that for him and he's doing bugger all for you. Time to treat him the same way.

I'm another who doesn't give cards to people I'm with or see on the day but I know that others see it differently

hamburgers · 25/12/2017 08:23

Ditto @EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck

Splinterz · 25/12/2017 08:23

My point butch is that people set such store by a card. Your in the same house, in house it goes like this "kiss, cuddle, Love you, love you too" not "ooh look a bit of cardboard" but perhaps we are weird, talking to and showing each other daily affection.

timeforabrewnow · 25/12/2017 08:23

x post - that comment was at the OP.

contortionist · 25/12/2017 08:24

That doesn't sound too bad to me. What would have liked him to get you?

NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 08:24

I've got nothing.
I've had flu virusy thing for weeks. I managed to sort most presents out for others but only just a token present for DH.
On that basis, he felt justified in not bothering to get me anything at all. Hey ho....

teaiseverything · 25/12/2017 08:29

I'm so picky with presents and I unintentionally have one of those god awful "I can't hide what I'm thinking" faces so for the past 3 years now, I've insisted on not being bought anything for Christmas day and he just has me choose something for myself in the days following. Works very well for us.

44PumpLane · 25/12/2017 08:29

If you're buying for everyone else and your DH is a bit shit, just buy for yourself as well! Things you wouldn't normally get yourself and that are a bit of a trip- you'll enjoy your pressies on Christmas for sure!

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 25/12/2017 08:29

I was going to say, timeforabrew! Xmas Grin

Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:32

Thanks everyone! I asked for a GoPro camera. I bought it for myself, and told him I was getting it so that I got the right one. That he could wrap it for me. Left it on the shelf next to his side of the bed. It’s still there, think I will go and get it in a bit. Hmm

OP posts:
PinkyBlunder · 25/12/2017 08:33

Those hideous Tatty Teddy stuffed toys. For the first 2 years of our relationship I got one from him.

Firstly - tacky.
Secondly- it was his ex that liked the tacky Tatty Teddy things not me and I couldn’t be more polar opposite in personality/likes/dislikes.

I’d put it down to ‘getting to know eachother’ but we’ve known eachother since we were kids Hmm

XmasInTintagel · 25/12/2017 08:34

Some people are bad at presents, he likely won't change. If he'd got worse, that'd be more of a worry, but as it is, I think you should prob accept that this is the way its going to be.
Fwiw, I had a previous partner who gave lovely, thoughtful, lavish gifts, but was bad tempered, nasty, and cheated. I now have a lovely DP, who is sweet and thoughtful all year...but gives pretty bad gifts (one year I had a 99p bag of chocolates, with the price still on, not wrapped..). I have decided not to care tho, its not worth being upset about it.
After Xmas you could have a talk with him about taking more of the load buying gifts, but don't expect miracles!

ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 08:35

My point butch is that people set such store by a card. Your in the same house, in house it goes like this "kiss, cuddle, Love you, love you too" not "ooh look a bit of cardboard" but perhaps we are weird, talking to and showing each other daily affection.

And some people show each other daily affection but still like to receive a card, a present and a stuffed turkey at Christmas.

Each to their own, eh?