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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be underwhelmed with gifts

280 replies

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:11

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

OP posts:
Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:36

nocanoe that’s awful! No excuse for him at all!

OP posts:
Accountant222 · 25/12/2017 08:37

Well I've only opened one present, husband left it in my bedroom while I was making a cup of tea, it's a huge bottle of Tiffany perfume, I'm astounded he's not bought me anything for years, of course I've nothing to give him back, I adopted his policy after the second year of receiving nothing.

NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 08:37

A friend got a huge bag of tea light candles the other year. That was her only present and she bluddy hates candles!!

ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 08:37

I bought it for myself, and told him I was getting it so that I got the right one

Did you pay for it yourself too? Shock

I really would stop doing so much for the shiftless creature.

maddiemookins16mum · 25/12/2017 08:38

I've had one present this morning (but DH has gone to work and there are lots for later, including I HOPE, a new watch for me 😳😳).
My one present thus far has been a garlic crusher. Yep, a garlic crusher.
In fairness, it is a sort of comedy present as I've been moaning about buying one for months so top marks really to DH for storing that nugget of info and actually getting one.

user1500124076 · 25/12/2017 08:38

I have to tell DH what I want or I'll end up with something random from TK Maxx. He's bloody useless.

XmasInTintagel · 25/12/2017 08:39

NoCanoe, sorry to hear you're poorly, and your OH could do with a kick - its not aboit what you get, but how hurtful to not get you anything at all :-(. Maybe think what he can do to make it up to you (make you a nice lunch, trip after Xmas when ur better?), and tell him firmly!

Downbutnotyetout · 25/12/2017 08:39

I asked for DH to put my old Cd collection onto an iPod. In october to give him plenty of time, but really I just wanted an effort not something from a list. He decided it was too hard so gave me a blank iPod and got the CDs down from the loft for me. It is the thought that counts, and he didn’t really think at all Hmm

MaisyPops · 25/12/2017 08:42

My one present thus far has been a garlic crusher. Yep, a garlic crusher.
In fairness, it is a sort of comedy present as I've been moaning about buying one for months so top marks really to DH for storing that nugget of info and actually getting one.
That sounds like my DH!
One year I'd been bitching about our irob not working so he bought one on blavk Friday and then wrapped it up and put it under the tree so I opened it in front of his whole family! Grin
It was quite funny. He also did get my a present that i'd enjoy too, but thr iron story stays with me.

Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:43

I think I will start writing very detailed lists or something. It’s not a money thing for us. I got him concert tickets for his fave band, some decent headphones, lego, designer pants and comedy socks (he asks for these every year) and some other token gifts from DS.

It just feels like he didn’t bother thinking of anything for me.

OP posts:
TheHandmaidsTail · 25/12/2017 08:43

Oh that's what has happened here user, fucking Baylis and Harding - slightly dented.

Cosmic.

EllaHen · 25/12/2017 08:46

You really need to stop buying all his presents for him. He is not a child. His time is not more important than yours.

Take action and stop.

SummatFishyEre · 25/12/2017 08:47

Stop buying presents for his family and his work secret Santa for a start! Why enable him to be feckless and lazy in the first place?

MooPointCowsOpinion · 25/12/2017 08:47

I don’t understand this! My husband and I agree a budget and buy each other as many thoughtful things we can think of, we both keep a secret list all year round where we spot things the other has expressed an interest in.

He spent probably less than £50 on me, and it was all things he knew I’d wanted, and not only that he organised for our family to get me things I wanted too.

If you love someone, you don’t do things to hurt and upset them, like not putting any thought into their Christmas morning.

chocolateiamydrug · 25/12/2017 08:48

Just stop gifting each other. Sort pressies for DS and your family and let him take care of his side of the family.

DH is not very much into Xmas and this year I got nothing. I think this tops yours but I am not very much bothered.

FluffyMcCloud · 25/12/2017 08:50

It's the same here. I get my Christmas joy from my kids happy faces etc cos I know not to expect thoughtful gifts. I spend months planning and buying, DH buys a few bits last minute with no thought at all. I also got a regifted item that DH just found in the cupboard.
It kinda sucks but it won't change. I love Christmas and how happy my gifts to others make them. Sounds cheesy but it's true.

ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 08:51

It just feels like he didn’t bother thinking of anything for me.

Does he seem at all embarrassed when he sees the Aladdin’s Cave you’ve got for him compared to what he gives you?

Squeegle · 25/12/2017 08:56

Some people aren’t really bothered about presents for themselves and so it’s no big deal to them: they find it hard to understand why others put so much store by them. Have you heard of the love languages? Take the quiz- if you have a different love language than your partner then frustrations can arise. Very interesting I thought.

www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

GreenPurpleRed · 25/12/2017 08:57

To be fair maisey I wouldn't update anyone's iPod with their cd's, that's a total shit job.

I bought a new phone for myself and dh got his own headphones. Both expensive prrsents that we each wanted but have nothing to actually open Christmas day.

Can I ask why after 12 years of being together are you now surprised??

Hulder · 25/12/2017 08:59

Vladimir we write each other lists. I gave up on the romantic 'he should just know what sort of things I like' a few years ago when he pointed out I am a pain in the arse to buy for. Equally he likes really specific stuff too.

If you write the lists early enough, you might also forget what you wrote on them Grin

CluelessMummy · 25/12/2017 09:00

DH gave me a lovely pair of earrings. The exact same pair of earrings that he gave me last year 🙈

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 25/12/2017 09:01

I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc.

I’m sensing the problem.

daisychain01 · 25/12/2017 09:01

designer pants and comedy socks

#GroundsForDivorce

NameChanger22 · 25/12/2017 09:02

I have no partner. Every year I buy myself the best presents, wrap them up, forget about them and get DD to give me them on Christmas day. I'm always really happy with what I get.

This year I got a beautiful gold planner, a llama from Paperchase, beautiful soaps and toiletries, an amazing wallet that goes with a bag I got last year, a DVD I really wanted and the best smelling candle ever. I'm so happy.

If your partner gets you rubbish presents you haven't dropped enough hints in December.

Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 09:02

Thanks everyone. And oh my, a garlic crusher? At least it’s something you want. Early on in our relationship he got me some carpet cleaner for Christmas. At least we had moved on from that low...

I don’t want to ‘not do’ presents. It’s christmas and is defo about the giving. Loved being able to make all our DS’s wishes come true!

And the camera was paid for with our money, there is no ‘mine and his’ money - all joint money. That’s why it’s disappointing I suppose. It’s not like he couldn’t afford to get me anything nice. Time to have a word with myself and get over it! Grin

And start writing my birthday list!

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