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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be underwhelmed with gifts

280 replies

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:11

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

OP posts:
NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 09:04

And just to whinge a bit more. I had to ask him to go and get cards yesterday for soecific family members, admitting I'd not got round to that aspect either, including his.
So he's not got me a card either seeing as he wasn't going to get one!
What the hell is this tit for tat mentality?

daisychain01 · 25/12/2017 09:04

Lovelanguage - with a DH as clueless and lazy as the OP's, I'd just use a few choice swear words. That should get the message across nicely.

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 09:05

My OH got me a cheap candle that smells horrible, a small bottle of perfume that costs £5 from the chemist (I’ve seen it in there before) and it smells like something my great gran would wear, some chocs (im lactose intolerant) and apparently something else which didn’t show up. He earns good money and has plenty of savings so it’s not a money thing. He’s just useless at buying presents and always does it at the last minute. He didn’t even get his brother anything for his 30th as he forgot

SanitaFannyWelly · 25/12/2017 09:06

I have been given unicorn slippers, unicorn onesie that doesn’t fit and a diamanté unicorn necklace.

I’m considering letting the cat lick his portion of turkey.

daisychain01 · 25/12/2017 09:07

I don’t want to ‘not do’ presents

Well you could carry on flogging a dead horse and feeling miserable each year, but if I were you, I'd get with the message - sounds like your DH is one step ahead on this one and isn't planning to change any time soon.

Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 09:10

indigo that is shit. At least my DH went to Debenhams (and bought everything from there).

Sanita do you even like unicorns?!

OP posts:
Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 09:15

I actually have an amazon wish list and sent him the link to it twice in December. On it were some earings, camera accessories for the GoPro I wanted, some books, a fancy notebook and pen set and a few other bits. Head. Bang. Wall.

Positives - he’s now cooking bacon and will open a bottle of bubbly and minute now. 🥂 He will do all the driving today and I will get to thrash him at monopoly later. Grin

OP posts:
Hulder · 25/12/2017 09:16

OK I take it back.

He's bought me 2 things off my list and a load of stuff he wants 'for both of us'.

Aaargghh.

JollyLlama · 25/12/2017 09:20

I just unwrapped a book I was about to buy myself but my OH said he would get me for Christmas. That’s it.

Oh well!

Partyfops · 25/12/2017 09:21

I asked for one thing, quite expensive thing for the house. We see them a lot at Xmas fairs. Due to him not putting in any effort he had to contact the maker after all the Xmas fairs had finished and ended up with the last one, they are all different, no one wanted this one obviously. It's not nearly as nice as many I had seen.

I asked for it at the beginning of November and made a point of it being the only thing I wanted.

He was so late sending his presents to his family 400 miles away that they didn't reach them on time.

CoconutGal · 25/12/2017 09:22

DH got a t shirt from my sister. It was one her partner didn't want.

RadioGaGoo · 25/12/2017 09:26

Oh I do so wish I could be an adult like timeforabrew!

Slartybartfast · 25/12/2017 09:28

I bought my own present from DH Grin
I have never done that but I wanted to be canny with money

Marmalady75 · 25/12/2017 09:32

My dh is useless at buying presents. He knows it, I know it. We agreed to get each other a token gift just so we had something to open. He got me a beginners crochet set. I’ve been crocheting for years and he often moans I have too much yarn and I’m too busy making things. I’m disappointed, but in the upside my toddler nipped to the shops and bought me a lovely handbag Wink

Whodunksakitkat · 25/12/2017 09:34

Absolutely nothing here. Husband is supposed to be making an effort! Have printed information about getting a divorce. ☹️ Really looking forward to a lonely New Year.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 25/12/2017 09:35

A box of nasty smelling bath stuff.

mumof2exhausted · 25/12/2017 09:36

AIBU christmas present not really for me. Every year I hint massively I'd love something personalised from my young boys to DH. Cup saying supermummy etc would do! Always get a Selfridges voucher which is lovely but honestly I'd rather something personalised, homemade card would be wonderful. My DH is very unsentimental and practical so doesn't really get it. So this year open present and it's a photo book with me and boys in the front saying "best mummy ever". Am absolutely thrilled! Think aaw going to be lots of lovely photos and me and boys. Feel like I'm never in photos as I'm always the one taking them ... so open it first photo is me and baby on holiday with my massive post baby tummy (sat on sunbed in super unflattering position) he's not cropped photo. Ok I'll let that go men can be bit blind to stuff like that. Then there are lots of photos of his mum and dad and kids ... I'm in about 6 photos then the rest are kids with his family. It could have easily been a present for anyone in his family as they are in book more than me. Know I'm probably being ungrateful said thank you it's lovely but think he expected me to be gushing and now he's in a grump. Urghh

confusedlittleone · 25/12/2017 09:38

I brought myself a Fitbit+fitbit scales, and he gave me the money, I've had them for a month tho 😂 I got him some token gifts as well so a little guttered he didn't organise any for me

Chchchchangeabout · 25/12/2017 09:40

A blanket I bought for myself. A book I reminded OH I wanted on last posting day. Errrr... that's it.

Originalfoogirl · 25/12/2017 09:40

I think I will start writing very detailed lists or something

Yeah, don't get your hopes up.

We didn't do presents for each other this year, mainly because I was getting too stressed about getting his stuff on top of buying everything for our girl (except one thing I asked him to get but which he still hadn't bought three days before we left for the holidays) and organising basically all of Christmas. But we did buy gifts from our daughter to each other. Two things I really need and have been putting off buying for weeks. Both of them were told what these things are, but neither of them have been bought. Instead it's chocolates and bath/shower stuff. That's what happens when you leave presents til the very last minute 🙄

I'm pretty pissed as I don't ask for much and although I don't go in for that perfect present stuff that can go on, it does feel like I end up being just overlooked once again.

Fitbitironic · 25/12/2017 09:45

there is no ‘mine and his’ money - all joint money. That’s why it’s disappointing I suppose. It’s not like he couldn’t afford to get me anything nice.

Indeed. It's the thought that counts too...
I got one nice thing I chose myself, and a bottle of alcohol 'from the dc'. Although he did take them out to choose something else when I commented on his gifts- one he'd chosen himself, plus the one DC had actually chosen for him, and the four presents I'd chosen him based on his interests. DC got a fancy candle. No real thought on his part though.
I'm a January birthday, so he could redeem himself, though I'm not holding my breath, having had no valentines this year and a forgotten wedding anniversary. 20 years together. Pfft.

Partyfops · 25/12/2017 09:48

I think next year we will set ourselves a limit and just buy some treats for ourselves and wrap them up.

He has wasted the best part of £200.

Jassmells · 25/12/2017 09:49

Jam. Oh dear. Like 69p Tesco jam or 4.99 pretending to be posh jam?

Original poster
VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 09:50

fitbit I’m a January birthday too. About 6 years ago I had a proper meltdown on my birthday because, given that it’s the same day every year, why the fuck was he surprised and unprepared for it?! No gift except an identical smellies box from boots, the same one he got me for xmas just a few days before. He redeemed himself the following year and has put more effort in to birthdays since then.

OP posts:
HeadDreamer · 25/12/2017 09:50

WHy are you buying for his family and work when he clearly doesn’t care much for xmas? I have said here before. I don’t buy for DH family and he always remember to buy for his mum. He would not let her Mum go without a gift no matter how crappy you and her both might think it is. DH doesn’t do the works secret Santa. Maybe yours won’t too if you don’t do his. I work in a male dominated industry and plenty give gift cards. There are even amazon ones ordered in a email! But they are well received. One guy in my team complained he got a gift card from a department store which he said was only for women Confused. I think you are spending too much effort on something he doesn’t really care anyway.

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