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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be underwhelmed with gifts

280 replies

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:11

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

OP posts:
VladimirPainting · 25/12/2017 12:22

Imitation is the sincerest form of faltery innit

SimonBridges · 25/12/2017 12:28

Oh the jam comment has reminded me of the poster who’s husband had wrapped up a gift box of pickle. And not even posh pickle, Branson.
I must go and find that thread again.

minifingerz · 25/12/2017 12:29

From my sister: a packet of linseeds.

Confused

(In fairness it was part of a parcel of stuff including salad sprinkles, dried coconut and a ‘Family Superfoods’ recipe book by Jamie Oliver)

To be underwhelmed with gifts
NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 12:31

My brother clearly realised I felt a bit down and offered to come and pick up and take me to his for Christmas! Bless him.
I said I was too ill to be out in company. He said hed bring a blanket and make sure I was okay....and I could just curl up on sofa.
That was rather touching.

ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 12:32

It's nothing to do with great minds. You've nakedly nicked my bloody nickname

Oh! So you’re two different posters?? 😲

You know, I was reading the thread earlier and thinking, “I never had VP down for the type of poster who would tolerate a shiftless, useless-at-giving-presents-but-shit-hot-at-receiving-them husband.” 🤨

NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 12:33

I confess too.....I'd not clicked either 're the names.

ButchyRestingFace · 25/12/2017 12:35

I just tried to change my username to VladamirPanting there but apparently someone else has already done tooken it.

Drats. 🤬

Doilooklikeatourist · 25/12/2017 12:46

DH bought me a lovely present
A red cashmere poncho
However , last year he bought me a red cashmere pashmina
DD did tell him to choose a different colour 😀

NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 12:50

@minifingerz
I like that gift! There's a theme and various working parts!

Judydreamsofhorses · 25/12/2017 13:07

My DP was made redundant last year and still isn’t working, so money is tight. He gave me a copy of my favourite magazine (with a tag saying “for the bath”), a box of teabags (with a tag saying “no matter how bad things are, there’s always tea”) and a vinyl single he’d hunted down online (with a tag saying “the band plays on”). I cried like an actual baby. Rubbish gifts, but the sentiment behind them speaks volumes.

NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 13:11

@Judydreamsofhorses
Not rubbish at all......thoughtful, considerate and loving. Which the lack of has been the mainstay of this thread . Good on him! I'd have cried too....

WhatWot · 25/12/2017 13:22

@Judydreamsofhorses, oh those are such thoughtful gifts from your DH. I hope things will look up for your family Flowers

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 13:22

Vlad- really didn’t know this NN was taken. I can’t say I really pay much attention to NN and shall promptly name change.

OP posts:
Bratsandtwats · 25/12/2017 13:26

Tell him that from now on you are only buying presents for your DC and your family. He is to sort everything else.

Tell him now and follow it up with an email or text message then he can't say you didn't tell him.

Plan to buy your own present from now on.

expatinscotland · 25/12/2017 13:31

Stop buying him presents!

'I often wonder if has aspbergers or something as he just cant see why I am hurt ,he doesn't think like anyone else
He thinks this is normal,
He is enjoying Christmas with his family
I cant see his logic'

The much greater likelihood is that he's an uncaring person who doesn't see you as a partner or your relationship as anything beyond the casual. Dump him.

lovemylover · 25/12/2017 13:52

expatinscotland yes he will get dumped, its not even that I cared about a present, but its the thought that I feel used now, and humiliated, My family have asked what he got me, and I have made exuses, I feel too embarrassed to say nothing
He really does have a problem with feelings I know, finds it hard to say anything very personal, and sees everything in black and white,
I have a grandson with asbergers who is a bit similar in thinking to him, that's why I wondered
Will have to name change now
I just cant see him the way I did before,
Was really looking forward to the new year, now just sickened

Lackingimagination6 · 25/12/2017 14:10

So I agreed with my DH's suggestion that he would really only get me token chocs this year. It's very sensible. He's unemployed so any money he spends is my money and he's not great at choosing gifts. I got him some theatre tickets, posh headphones, and a book, all of which he dropped big hints for. A week ago I treated myself to a lovely massage at the local osteopaths as my Xmas present.

All very sensible but to be honest I still yearn for a thoughtful, romantic gift. :-(

On the bright side, 12 year old DS took his pocket money and bought me a really beautiful glass lamp from habitat. Exactly the sort of thing I love. I could have wept.

Tweennightmare · 25/12/2017 14:24

Can I join the slightly gutted club after weeks of hinting about some mugs I had fallen in love with . I opened some mugs today by the right designer but a different range ( the one I liked was out of stock) which is no where near as nice . Slightly ashamed I couldn’t hide my disappointment as he has completely missed the point .it wasn’t that I needed any mugs it was those particular mugs I loved. (and now I can’t even buy the ones I love as he has thrown away the receipt and we don’t need 8 new mugs) Next year no presents as I can’t stand the disappointment

RandomUsernameHere · 25/12/2017 14:48

4 pairs of knickers that are all too big. Not sure whether to be offended or not.

fudgefeet · 25/12/2017 14:51

I got fluffy socks and a notepad. In his defence he was set on painting a mug for me but as he is a serial cup breaker I told him that it wasn't worth doing so he was a bit stumped for ideas after that.

Apileofballyhoo · 25/12/2017 14:52

DH didn't get me anything at all. He just couldn't be arsed, and I honesty would be delighted with any small thing. I got myself stuff though, because I knew he wouldn't.

Cantuccit · 25/12/2017 15:48

He's unemployed so any money he spends is my money and he's not great at choosing gifts. I got him some theatre tickets, posh headphones, and a book, all of which he dropped big hints for.

So if you're doing without, then so should he!

Motoko · 25/12/2017 17:06

Gosh, so many husbands and partners who don't give a shit about the woman they're supposed to love.

I don't know why people put up with it and still buy them thoughtful presents.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 25/12/2017 17:13

Because you live in hope that one day.....@Motoko ....Xmas Grin

HollyBollyBooBoo · 25/12/2017 17:18

Not a surprise as we chose it together. I got a gorgeous ring from my 'special friend'/lover.

Chanel lipstick and Fitflop Boots were presents from me to me.

Cherries in kirsch from DM, er interesting choice!