To be underwhelmed with gifts

[VladimirPouting]

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

NoCanoe this is only our 4th Xmas together.

It doesn't bode well.

I am feeling really quite unappreciated by everyone at the moment and this isnt helping. This is the first Christmas in years I've felt really alone. No family except my DC, and I'm realising I only probably have 1 or 2 true friends.

Hope you feel better soon. At least I'm not ill which is something (though I do have a banging headache due to being up til 2am wrapping presents...)

A car air freshener

Your husband is a selfish arse who clearly doesn’t think you are worth the effort. I would take back the lovely thoughtful gifts you bought him and swap them for shit ones.
Not
If you continue doing the same each year nothing will change. You are worth more thought.

The regifted candle reminds me of the time my son wrapped up a gift I had already received one year and put in the garage.
I had to laugh at the fact that I didn't really want it the first time, never
Mind the second.

A teatowel...from my DP’s mother. Just that. A tea towel.
I get one every year. No idea why she would think I would want a tea towel. I don’t even need a tea towel. I had plenty before she added to my ‘collection’.

I’ve opened the champagne (that I bought) and now feeling super wobbly and chilled. We have a recipes discussion and we are going back to Debenhams to exchange the PJ’s. I do like everything else and suffer with cold quite badly, so I can see he has thought a little bit about what I would like/need. Although I have a ton of hat/scarf/gloves sets.

From my DP - fuck all! He's going to buy me a ring to replace one I lost back in the summer, and hopefully he'll buy me the earrings he was going to get me for my birthday (in August!) at the same time.

I can't decide if it's an aversion to spending money or an aversion to going to the shops, but I really thought he might have got me something small to unwrap. I got him clothes, because he'd be walking round in a 30-year old t-shirt with his arse hanging out of his trousers if I didn't.

Other gifts mostly underwhelming: 2 paperbacks I've already read and a box of chocs from MIL, and from DSS and partner a very nice scarf in a soft wool-cotton mix and some joss sticks and a brass holder to put them in.

I know I sound like an ingrate, but joss sticks make my nose stream within 5 minutes of setting foot in a house where they're burning. The scarf is lovely though.

@vlad
I didn't think your list was too bad to be honest!! And now you've read our sorry tales, I bet you feeling a bit better!!
@VelvetSpoon
I know where you coming from!

I have got nothing this year except a jar of nuts. If I want anything I buy it myself when I want it. that way I am never disappinted and get exactly what I want!

I am not bothered by presents or the lack of them.
I got DH of 13 years

• 7 pairs of socks (he goes through them fast, wears them through at the toes so they would be undarnable even if I had the time)
• a free M and S scarf that was "supposed " to be £25
• a Christmas spatula

I got

• a snowflake pendant that I ordered myself and told him would do me (£11 Amazon deal)

-a second hand pendant that I told DH I liked

• some fluffy bedsocks that I bought myself

If I wanted to feel more pampered I would have got myself an M and S advent calendar, I am still enjoying the bits I got from the one 2 years ago.

We can't be bothered with cards that much.

On the other hand, I was up much of the night wrapping presents for the 9 year old and 6 year old, they are very happy.

I also have been ordering from the Gap sale overnight, they have 25% off sale with NEWGAP, I have been getting some warm layers as we live in the country and it can be cold. I go buy the philosophy if I need it I get it myself.

DH can be very thoughtful and romantic if he feels inspired though.

Ah @VelvetSpoon I know exactly where you are coming from....

I had to listen to stories about gifts my partner made for his ex, and surprises he planned, and how unhappy he was when they were unappreciated.

I was taken to an electrical store at 2pm on Saturday and told to pick something up to the value he had left on his store card.

I was standing in the middle of the shop with a kitchen item i need costing £25 and trying not to cry.

Then I thought arseholes to this and chose myself an expensive set of headphones I like.

I had the same face when I asked him to wrap them too.

I think I will start writing very detailed lists or something.

We've been doing this for years. We email each other the lists on Thanksgiving, with links for everything that can be bought on line. This lets us shop the black Friday sales and everything gets delivered in plenty of time for Christmas. We get each other a couple of surprise gifts as well, but this takes most of the guesswork out of it and we both get what we want.

You have stolen my name!! WTF!

"Your husband is a selfish arse who clearly doesn’t think you are worth the effort".

Why can't he make the effort in other ways? Why does he have to communicate his appreciation through the medium of things?

It's the lack of thought that is so hurtful.

Someone could buy me something from Poundland and present it to me in a Poundland bag but if it had a special in joke between us or was very thoughtful then it would mean the world.

DH and I seperated last Christmas, we are back together. We used to play scrabble together a lot. Haven't for years now. I have bought him a deluxe scrabble set and am going to ask him to play scrabble again like we used when we had all the time in the world together because we made time. Plus the tiles won't move now and it has a turntable!

I have bought DS a vegetable spiraliser as he likes making noodle soup I'm hoping he likes the thought behind that. It is a salter one so decent and was only £2 in a sale. I have also stuck a baguette in his stocking as he was complaining we don't have them often enough

DH draws me a Christmas card every year, he didn't last year, he has this year.

So sorry Vlad perhaps great minds think alike? Im not sure of the etiquette here, is it the same as if I stole your DC’s unique name and now you’re angry with me?

Yes I am very underwhelmed, my partner who I don't live with didn't buy me a present because I am not part of his family
I think he may need to find another lover,
He cant understand why I am so hurt,
I often wonder if has aspbergers or something as he just cant see why I am hurt ,he doesn't think like anyone else
He thinks this is normal,
He is enjoying Christmas with his family
I cant see his logic
Sent me text this morning, happy Christmas ,
Ruined my Christmas

Peanut that all sounds really thoughtful and lovely. My DH defo makes up in other ways.

love that's shit

My dh used to be thoughtful in other ways but not anymore.

It makes me so sad

*@VladimirPouting *
I think I just shortened your name? Sorry!!

I can't believe you've all but copied VladmirsPoutine's name - very bad form

My husband got a slightly grim uninspiring selection of random stuff from the DC (7y 4y baby)
He is utterly delighted 'because they clearly chose it themselves'

I luffs him

It's nothing to do with great minds. You've nakedly nicked my bloody nickname.

Oooh....name wars!! It could get confusing though....as people shorten so we need to be writing full names from now on...?