To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

[greywhitebluepink]

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

I read your opening post and my jaw dropped with the shock!!

"Some woman I work with...."
I can't believe she said that!

If I was you I would be feeling utterly shit and utterly unwelcome and I absolutely wouldn't go round.

Whether she was having a whinge or being a martyr doesn't change anything.

If in the text she'd actually called you by name and acknowledged you as being a person it might not have read as bad but to be brushed off as just "some woman" is incredibly, incredibly rude.

You enjoy your Christmas Day on your own OP. Enjoy just wearing your dressing gown whilst watching Christmas TV and eating lots of delicious treats!!!

Now that baby is on the way you should be embracing a peaceful self centred Christmas because it's the last chance you're going to get for a very long time

She's a Glory Seeking Witch she wants the Glory of everyone in the Office thinking she's so kind and generous inviting the 'home alone' pregnant girl to Christmas Dinner... when in reality she just wants the Credit... without actually being kind or generous....

SKANK alert .. enjoy your Christmas book Fest OP

I'd probably answer her calls or hear her out at some point. Whilst what she did was pretty despicable, she hasn't taken the coward's way out of sending a grovelling text. For the fact that she seems willing to face up to it by actually talking, I'd listen to what she has to say and then remind her who it was that was insistent about the arrangement.

Hope you have a lovely chilled day tomorrow OP.

Buy ALL the Jilly Cooper Rutshire Chronicles and have a fabulous day (even if you can't get 'tight')

Yay!! Food and books and peace and quiet. What a lovely Xmas:)

Baby to look forward to and DH coming home

And yet she was massively insistent that you go? Definitely martyr syndrome.

Re books, if you like quite funny stuff, I recommend Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Don't think it was a joke meant for OP, as there was no mention of confirming the arrangements.
Could have been a joke meant for someone else. I can imagine texting something silly like that to my sister as I'd know it wouldn't be taken seriously.

You'll probably have a much more relaxing time on your own anyway, OP.
All the best

Imagine her FEAR of the Office finding out she's just a vile woman...

Amanda Prowse books. Have a lovely Xmas op, spoil yourself, I am sure the other lady feels terrible about upsetting you. Enjoy your kindle, I have one and it is great!

She sounds very false, she probably made a big show to her colleagues so that she looks very good, whilst not really wanting to and it backfired.

^Exactly this. Also she didn’t even refer to you as a friend from work. Just a woman from work. She couldn’t care less.

She isn’t ‘just being human’ , she’s a two-faced cunt and a liar. I wouldn’t have bothered replying after ‘this wasn’t meant for me.’ She’s not worth your time or thoughts.

I’d recommend The Essex Serpent. Have a lovely day!

Cow bag

Book recommendations Marian Keyes

Every time she thinks of this over Christmas she's going to feel her stomach lurch with embarrassment at her stupidity, indiscretion and dishonesty.
As much as you feel mortified OP, it's not a patch on how anxious she's going to be having been caught out being a right two-faced prick. Especially if you let on to anyone...which she'll be shitting herself about.

I'm sorry OP, what a horrible message to open and read and how mean of the lady. Hope you get something nice to eat and that you're ok tomorrow

Kind to cunt in one misfired text. Oh dear.

What a nasty woman. You've reacted wonderfully - much better than I might've.

If you like a 'quiet' book I'd recommend Anne Tyler. Lots of very nice character pieces and not masses of plot. Books to make you think. Also Lionel Shriver if you want to be challenged but she can be hard going!

Your Christmas Day will be delicious - PJs, films, books. Gorgeous.

OP, as someone who will be spending tomorrow on their own I thank you for your post!
It would be much worse to spend the day with others under these circumstances.
I have had a horrible year and have not been supported by some people who have been posting on social media about how much they feel for people who are suffering misfortune. It has left me utterly gobsmacked at how people can rewrite the narrative they are playing out, and it seems they actually believe it!
Good for you for your restrained and dignified response.
If I could suggest anything I would say you felt compelled to fit with her narrative of herself as your saviour and were relieved to have been let off the hook by her horrible text.
Have a grand day and don't give it another thought!

have a lovely relaxing time, hopefully you won't feel ill and can just indulge yourself with baby thoughts etc. Hope your DH isn't working too late and that you can enjoy it when he gets home. I'm actually a bit jealous of that peace and quiet to do what you want. Happy Christmas and good luck with the baby in the new year.

Personally I wouldn't have it out but I absolutely wouldn't go. I'd just text with a flakey excuse saying you can't make it and have a lovely day with your bump thinking how next Christmas you'll have your own little one x

Merry Christmas to you OP - you'll have a far better one without her.

pictish 'kind to cunt'

I'll remember that one

Dorothy koomson books are fantastic! The chocolate run and my best friends girl are brilliant. Heather gudenkauf and Jodi picoult are great reads for surprise twists!

Merry Christmas op hope you have a lovely relaxed day this year and I'm sure you'll make up for it with your baby next year!

Ooh id start shopping the Xmas day sales too!

It amazes me how people write their narrative without any care for who suffers for the effect!
Ultimately the biggest lie is to themselves!