To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

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My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

Bitch.

I would certainly not be going.

A quick “Since are so stressed I wouldn’t want you to feel put upon so I won’t be coming for dinner tomorrow”

I doubt she meant it. As PP stated she was playing the martyr/bigging herself up. She's probably mortified and feeling terrible right now but your reaction is NU either.

I agree with whoever said see how you feel in a few hours. If she insisted on you coming, then I'm certain you're not unwelcome. She's a drama lama and wanted to make out like she was massively under strain to her mate, that's all.

If you weren't that fussed on going anyway, use this as your excuse not to go but if you were looking forward to it, I think you should still go.

There will probably be a corner shop open somewhere near you tomorrow to get a few nibbles in OP, my local one and the one in the next town open on Christmas day.

I would just text her and say, 'it's fine let's forget about it but remember you were very insistent on me coming to yours, at no point have i insisted you feed me at all' and give her a wide berth from now on. I can imagine she must be feel absolutely mortified but that's her problem!

She'll be sweating by now wondering how to dig herself out of this. Just don't turn up, she'll know why.

I wouldn’t go either.

As others have said, she may well just be playing the martyr to garner sympathy for herself. But she’s been rude and lied. I wouldn’t feel comfortable there if I were in your position.

Do you have a corner shop or something nearby where you could at least nab some chocolates or Pringles or something?

I agree that she is playing the Martyr card so that everyone can appreciate how amazing, wonderful and generous she is. Which is now why she’s hugely embarrassed. She’ll be wondering who you will share the text with. Enjoy ignoring her, have a peaceful day tomorrow and celebrate with your DH on Boxing Day. She is shallow and not worth another thought.

I wouldn’t go either.

As others have said, she may well just be playing the martyr to garner sympathy for herself. But she’s been rude and lied. I wouldn’t feel comfortable there if I were in your position.

Also have a nice Christmas eve or boxing day with your husband. Just think, next year and for many years to come Christmas will be with your new baby/child. So make the most of the last one you have on your own p

Do not go! Sounds hideous. Stay home.Watch tv/listen to radio.

It’s not acceptable to invite people then lie to play the martyr about it.

You can say you’re stressed without lying and woe is me bollocks.

Don't answer her. Let her stew in her own shit for the holidays.
And don't go, obviously.
Is the nowhere open nearby where you could buy some nice food?

I’ll text her to cancel in a bit. I’ve finished for maternity leave now anyway so won’t have to for ages.

I'd text her saying.
For the record I initially decline the invitation but you insisted. I think it would be awkward all round if I came now so I won't be. Merry Christmas.

Then turn your phone off and get creative with what you have in the freezer and cupboards.

yeah I’ll go to the Co op, I wish I could have a drink!

The "insisting I feed her" comment has annoyed me. Is her cooking and company so irresistable.
Surely your pride is enough to stop you.

Small Co op stores are open till seven. Ours is anyway. They tend to have nice stuff

I wouldn’t go. If you really didn’t want to go in the first place, this is an excellent excuse to stay at home and relax.

i also think she's playing the martyr game.

i'd text back and say 'i know you didn't mean that text for me, and you were trying to be kind by inviting me. i shan't come tomorrow because it would be awkward, but no hard feelings. see you in the new year and have a good christmas'

A cheese toastie for lunch tomorrow would be better than going round to hers.

My days what a selfish, bitter, strange woman your colleague is.

Don’t take her calls & ignore her texts - let her sweat over this the nasty bitch.

Why people stress over xmas is beyond me - all this for one day.

Find yourself something to eat at homecan you text dh to pick you up something in one of the smaller Sains/Tesco/Co-op.

Yu can have a lazy day - eat when you want to, get ready when you want to. Perfect

Make sure you have a feast celebrating New Year.

The Co Op will have some nice food still in. Have a lovely quiet day tomorrow and thank your lucky stars you don’t have to sit with Molly Martyr offering you more gravy tomorrow.

Ouch. I'd do what eddie suggests. Try and put it behind you though, she's been unkind but had the best intentions initially. She'll feel dreadful, and rightly so.

She sounds like a right cow!