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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

322 replies

greywhitebluepink · 24/12/2017 16:32

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 25/12/2017 13:49

Merry Christmas OP and everyone else :)

You sound so lovely,I'd have asked you round to mine for dinner Grin

Hope whatever you have planned today you have a good one and make sure you pour yourself a lovely drink

Merry Christmas everyone :) x

Wishingandwaiting · 25/12/2017 14:00

Op, I really really like the way you’re come across.

This was a hurtful situation but you’ve been so sensible in my opinion. You’ve sent a polite but direct message and now you’re getting on with your life. You’ve not caused the woman huge stress (even though she was very unpleasant) and you haven’t spoilt things for yourself by becoming focussed on some kind of clever bitter revenge that is often advised by posters in similar scenarios.

You’ve done precisely what I would have done. Precisely the opposite of how so many similar threads go!

Enjoy and put your feet up x

Reddlion · 25/12/2017 15:20

Wow this is horrible sorry op don't go

LanaDReye · 25/12/2017 15:25

Happy Christmas OP and bump!

calzone · 25/12/2017 15:30

How cringey but well played OP.

EasterRobin · 25/12/2017 15:42

Happy Christmas OP! I hope you found some tasty food.

ladystarkers · 25/12/2017 15:48

Some people are horrible and weird

Graphista · 25/12/2017 16:30

Hope you're having a lovely peaceful Christmas feet up eating something yummy and reading something you really enjoy CakeXmas Smile

redexpat · 25/12/2017 18:26

Merry Christmas greywhitebluepink. Did you have a nice day?

Flibbertyjibbit · 25/12/2017 18:33

Merry Christmas OP!

Buxtonstill · 25/12/2017 18:33

Hug yourself, and imagine showing your new little one the Christmas tree lights next year!

ClaryFray · 25/12/2017 19:04

Look into kindle unlimited for the kindle OP. 7.99 a month and you can borrow like a library! It's great :)

Hope you had a fab day x

Weezol · 25/12/2017 19:50

I hope you are having a lovely day. You have handled this with grace and class - it sounds as if you and your husband will build a great family with bump Star

TooSarcastic · 25/12/2017 20:34

clary there's an offer for new Kindle Unlimited joiners at the moment of 3 months free, too

greywhitebluepink · 25/12/2017 20:46

Thanks! It’s been okay! Bit slow but I had a sleep which sped things up. Then it went dark. Eating Pringles now.

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 25/12/2017 21:01

Sleep + Pringles is pretty much the perfect day Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 25/12/2017 21:15

Much better being somewhere your not wanted.

TooManyNames · 25/12/2017 21:45

Merry Christmas! She’s probably feeling sooooo embarrassed (and so she should)! Now she has shown her true colours you can invest your time and energy onto someone else... hugs and good luck with everything. :)

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/12/2017 17:05

Sleep + Pringles

Living the Dream! Grin

MrsMozart · 26/12/2017 18:15

Sleeping and Pringles is the only way to go, that and easy tv watching.

Sounds like a good day lass.

dadap · 26/12/2017 19:09

Just caught this thread today - sorry this happened op - and I think you dealt with it - with good grace - I am a bit of loaner too and before having children was usually invited to friends homes always feeling a bit lost and awkward with the families as I am not that sociable in larger groups. I almost always preferred to be on my own and just sleep through the 2 days. You may have done this already but a warm bath with lots of smellies would have been a nice thing to do. Mind you since then and now with children of my own -after 25 years of trying to make a happy family Xmas with varying degrees of success, I am usually glad it's over by Boxing Day Smile

ChasedByBees · 26/12/2017 19:42

I think you dealt with this well OP, I hope you've had a nice time and persistent woman left you alone finally.

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