To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

[greywhitebluepink]

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

Tombstone, why go through all that bother? OP does not live in a soap opera

op, get yourself on project Gutenberg www.gutenberg.org as they have a lot of classics downloadable for free. Plenty to keep you going!

Have a nice relaxing day doing absolutely naff all. Be thoroughly lazy all day long.

Definitely do not go

If it was a joke she’d have made it much clearer it was meant for you, lots of winky faces etc.

Remember some takeaways will be open. I'd just order something.

Strange woman!

That was a very polite reply.

I think I would have had to have said that you were sure she had invited you & you would never push in where not wanted.

Still, it's done now so hope you have a lovely day tomorrow.

Alexander mcall smith. Esp ladies detective agency series. Lovely light reading

Another one for the Thursday Next books, I've just finished re-reading them. I won't even try to explain what they're about but they're fantastic.

I'm sorry you lost your parents when you were young Op, that must have been hard. Lots of good suggestions for having a lovely Christmas Day on your own & good idea to order a takeway tomorrow. Re books, some of the classics - I love Jane Austen, the Brontes or the complete opposite early Jilly Cooper, like Riders, Rivals etc. I also recommend the Merrily Watkins series by Phil Rickman or if you like scary ghost stories then MR James or Susan Hill are good. I'll also be spending Christmas day on my own for the first time, but I'm looking forward to it.

💐 OP x

Some people love playing the martyr and want to portray themselves as superwoman, etc. It doesn't mean she actually means it. I'd go

She sounds very false, she probably made a big show to her colleagues so that she looks very good, whilst not really wanting to and it backfired. I would not want to spend time with people who do not want me, and her family will probably whisper, 'oh its that cheeky fucker who invited herself to our Christmas dinner". No thank you, good on you, have a lovely relaxing day.

This sounds just like my mum. How old is this woman?

Yes to jilly cooper. I hope you have a lovely day tomoz op. Soon you will have a baby and things will be very different! Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy 2018.x

She’s exaggerating her drama for attention from someone else. It’s not really meant as a personal attack on you. I would hear her out on the phone and then decide what to do x

I'd speak to her. It could be that she was stressed, it could be she was trying to get out of doing something tonight and using you as an excuse. Ring her.

@isseywithcats - I have a spare copy of Cross the Line if you'd like it. Dh bought it for me and then I realised I had read it. On line blurb wasn't helpful .

Even if she's stressed, that it utterly unacceptable, there is noway I would want to spend Christmas in that environment. Better just leave it until after Christmas, and op have the relaxing and stress free Christmas day she needs and wants. Op has said that she did not particularly want to go to that woman's house, but felt pushed for the sake of politeness. Op does not want to go, and has messaged the lady after receiving that text, so leave it at that for now.

As pPs say she was probably making a point to whoever she intended to text about how run off her feet she is, and didn't really mean it.
I'm sure she feels absolutely mortified.
You still wouldn't BU to not go though! Just don't take it personally. I'd just message her and say thanks so much for offering to have you for Christmas but unfortunately you can no longer make it.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas with your DH when he is able to celebrate with you.

OP has she actually sent you a text at any point to apologise?!

Don't know what your reading preferences are but make the most of it.I had romantic ideas of sitting under a tree feeding the baby and reading,I think I managed the feeding but I didn't read another book for a few years.

What a cow. Don't go. Order Chinese food and have a bubble bath. Block her number so she can't keep trying

If she gets in touch again, make sure you make the point that while she maybe didn't mean it, whoever she was saying that to would have no reason not to think it was true and you have no desire to meet people that would think that of you before they even met you.

Not sure if any of you are in the same boat but I have lost one parent and that is bad enough. The OP has lost both and her DH is working Christmas day. The woman who sent her that text by mistake is a nasty, thoughtless bitch.

Glad you are not going OP and glad that you are not upset by her thoughtlessness. This time next year you will have you own little family and won't be alone at Christmas again.

I have a rule that I never say anything negative about someone in an SMS or email. Its just not worth the potential hassle.

She's a cow who wants everyone to think she's oh so wonderful.

Your text was classy. Well done

I suspect she'll make up some story about how you dropped out at the last minute tomorrow, without noting that it's because she rudely lied about you and got caught out!