To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

[greywhitebluepink]

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

or you could text her again and say... on second thoughts if you drop me around a plate of dinner we'll call it quits and say no more about it??

I'm reminded of the transactional analysis 'drama triangle' - victim, rescuer, persecutor.
I think the OP just stopped the game so I would expect a comeback!
Watch your back op - the gameplayers will try to get you back into the game!
Well done for your exit but I don't expect it will end there - the gameplayer will protect their narrative, even if it is a lie!

Hope you enjoy tomorrow op. As others have already said, totally indulge yourself tomorrow. Long lie in, nice breakfast (cheesy scrambled eggs on toast or smoked salmon if your local co op has any left) and a lovely lunch/ tea. It doesn't need to be roast dinner. Just as long as it is something you enjoy.

And books. I would second Lianne Moriarty s Big Little Lies, Amanda Prowse (Another love is brilliant) and Dorothy Koomson. If you like thriller books K Slater is great and cheap on the kindle.

Merry Christmas op

Aww I started maternity leave this time last year, such a lovely time to hibernate and prepare for the arrival of your baby.
The woman sounds awful, thank goodness you’ve seen her true colours and don’t have to waste your precious time with her!
In terms of good kindle books I really liked any of FG Cottam’s, also have your read The Secret History by Donna Tartt? Have a lovely day tomorrow :)

Oh poor you OP

I'm pleased you've declined her offer.

Could you get a takeaway delivered tonight, pop it in the fridge and re-heat tomorrow?! Obviously I'm talking Indian or Chinese rather than fish n chips!

Haha! Bet she feels stressed now, eh!!!!!

Tesco local style shops will still be open - nip out and get some nice food in and don’t go to bers

What a bitch ! Some
People are just reallly nasty and that’s all I can say . You have dodged a bullet there it would have been a horrible day

or you could text her again and say... on second thoughts if you drop me around a plate of dinner we'll call it quits and say no more about it??

Some Indian or Chinese takeaway are open tomorrow here. You could try your local Facebook to see if anyone knows any that are open and deliver (and hopefully your work colleague sees it too!)

Sadie

ha i would do what queen says that would be funny

Well done for being so restrained in your response to her.

Twatbadger. I hope she’s messaged you back apologising!

OP, I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow! Please let us know if you managed to get some nice food in last minute - that's my only worry!

Classy response OP! Now chill out and enjoy your last relaxing xmas day ever!!! Kindle in the bath followed by fave film and snacks I reckon. Have fun.

Honestly, she sounds like a drama llama, you'll be much cosier by yourself. I hope you have a nice relaxing time. I recommend the Genevieve Lenard series for crime/thriller, the first one is free for Kindle. I also recommend the Cronicles of St Marys series, the first book is 99p, or you can get the first three books for £4.99.

I would do the same as you op .

OP she will not be enjoying her Christmas gathering - guaranteed. Meanwhile you have lots to look forward to and enjoy 😀

Aww OP don't waste your Christmas on this lady. Would local takeaways be open tomorrow? Maybe you could treat yourself. You and your bump could have a loved chilled day together... it's the last Christmas before parenthood changes your life forever..!!!

Don't go OP.

She invited you yet is making out that you invited yourself.

She's a drama queen OP, keep away.

I am so sorry this happened but at least you found out about it today and not tomorrow. Have a lovely day tomorrow and hopefully she will get one she deserves,

I wouldn't go. She probably didn't mean what she said but it would still stop me going.

Hope you've got some nice food/books/tv planned. Christmasses go a bit crazy when you have a kid so enjoy the peace and quiet for the last time.

Merry Christmas 🎄

Is it at all possible that the text was meant for you and she was being "funny"?

Assuming she is normally a normal reasonable person then I would have assumed it was a joke too. The text could easily have been meant for someone that she had previously told how nice you were and how undemanding you were etc and it could well have been really obvious to the recipient that it was tongue in cheek.

If you think about it would be a peculular comment to make even if the work colleague was a cow. Why would someone say someone else was 'insisting' of being fed. That would be weirder than it being a joke.

I'd really want to know what she had to say tbh, obviously there is nothing she could say but I'd be very curious.

Enjoy a peaceful day reading OP.