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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think her DH should have paid for their food?

201 replies

seekingsellotape · 20/12/2017 10:29

DH and I were on a date at the weekend. We'd been in the restaurant about ten minutes when a couple we know from the school DS used to attend came in. I haven't seen the woman much for over a year since the boys moved on and I must admit I do avoid her if I see her around the shops - not because I don't like her as such, but I just find her a bit much because she's unneccessarily competitive about her DC (in my opinion). DH sees her husband occasionally as they're in some kind of "supper club" forum.

So they came over and the next thing they're asking for their table to be joined to ours. Before he'd even sat down, her DH was ordering champagne. I wasnt drinking because I'd just come off a three-day juice detox, plus I don't really drink wine anyway. She does go on about her DC and their music exams, academics, etc etc, but apart from that, they were fine really that night, although they drank 2 bottles between them, plus brandies. DH was driving so didn't have much.

When the bill came, DH said he'd get it. Her DH said he would, but DH picked it up, so her DH said, "We'll do next time then".

AIBU to think her DH should have insisted on paying half, given that these are not people we socialise with regularly anyway? Also, I feel that our evening was kind of gate crashed by these people and it's rare for us to get time away from the DC. I don't know how much the bill was, but it's the principle of it. Now she has texted asking us for drinks at theirs after Xmas. They are not bad people, but my gut feeling is not to go there. DH says, "don't worry about it," but I feel irrationally irritated. WWYD?

OP posts:
browneyes77 · 24/12/2017 08:42

I think you’re getting a lot of unnecessary anger here OP. You’ve asked a question and been quite polite and reasonable in your responses, but are getting some very aggressive replies which I think are unfair.

I don’t think YABU in being annoyed about them sitting with you. Personally, I would be pissed if anyone invited themselves to sit with me and my DP on a meal out. I think it’s very rude to do that when you can see a couple are out alone together, so that tells me this couple are a bit self involved and lacking social skills. So I can understand your frustration at this. And its not as easy for some to be forthright and tell people to buggar off in that situation. Especially as your DH is pally with the other bloke.

I do think your DH is to blame for the bill paying situ though. I don’t think he should’ve offered to pay the entire bill at all and the other guy did insist twice so not really their fault you picked up the whole bill.

If your DH is friendly with the other guy, then I think it’s unfair for you to expect him to cut any friendship he has with them just because you have had issues with the woman. So in that respect I’d go to the drinks etc they are offering so they can return the favour of paying and then leave the socialising after that to your DH and her DH.

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