Please learn to drive before I go insane

[TeaAndToast85]

Hi everyone, DH and I are expecting DC1 at the end of April. He is 35 and still hasn't learned to drive, and I have started having nightmares about driving myself to hospital (obv wouldn't IRL). We have been together 12 years, and I have been asking him to learn for at least 6 years.

He always says 'yes, of course, I will sort that out' and then the days and weeks go by, and I am still driving us everywhere. He did actually have one lesson a couple of months ago, but then didnt book another one.

I have tried EVERYTHING. Hints, gentle reminders, asking him to book it NOW (yes, I will do it later, get off my case, I just got in from work), losing my shit and screaming at him...I just don't know what to do any more. His latest thing is saying 'don't worry, I have a plan' whenever I bring it up. He always says that he will pass with hardly any lessons, and he is probably right. But I am due to have a baby in 18 weeks, and I know that if someone else has to drive us in, then I will feel really let down by him, and he will feel gutted and a bit humiliated.

It's also important to say that apart from this our relationship is fantastic - he is kind, funny and supportive, and I love him so much.

But - AIBU to want to book lessons for him and say that if he doesn't do them then I will never speak to him again, and will possibly make him sleep in the garage?

I never iron either! He doesn't expect me to do his share - he doesn't expect me to do anything! He doesn't care. He is happy for me to hire as many cleaners as i want - i do the budgeting. And he's happy for me never to work in paid employment if i don't want, or to work if i do and outsource everything. He wouldn't care if i did ready meals every night. He just wont do it himself. Never has (i met him at 29 and he'd lived alone since Uni). He will do lots with the kids as in take them out - no food prep tho, but happy to take them to cafes/get takeaways etc. Does as many night wakings as i do. Does all nappies when he's home etc.

I buy those non iron shirts for everyone and hang them straight out of the tumble dryer.

As an aside OP - if you did need a C-Section, it's not true that you can't drive for 6 weeks. Some HCPs will say that to err on the side of caution - but I healed quickly and was climbing the walls after 2/3 weeks and rang my insurers, who said that they have no issue with people driving post any op, as long as their GP is happy. There is no fixed timeframe, it's all down to whether or not you'd be safe, and would e.g. feel able to carry out an emergency stop if needed (which I think anyone would automatically do anyway - before then screaming afterwards if not well enough ). I rang my GP who said if I felt OK then fine. So as I live rurally - I drove, with no problems. Obviously I hope you have a lovely easy natural birth, and that your DH is a qualified driver by then - but just for info. Good luck!

YANBU in my opinion. This would drive me nuts (pun intended) (sorry if everyone's said that already I haven't RTFT)

Great update OP. Do post again on this thread to tell us when he passes.

Happy Christmas!

Excellent news. Well done OP!

That's really great, hope he sticks with it, do update us on how he gets on.