AIBU to hate the *adults don't need presents* brigade?

[Travis1]

Just that really? Hates probably a strong word but seriously dislike. Keep seeing it spouted on here continually but if adults don't need presents then on Christmas morning it's just me, DH and the cats staring at each other. When everyone else is out shopping for their little darlings barren old me will have 2 nieces and 1 nephew to buy for. Nothing else.

TTC 8 years so if it's not bad enough that I can't actually have kids now I can't have presents either? Feck off!

Why do people want to make others feel guilty for wanting to exchange gifts with the ones they love and to celebrate? Why shouldn't I buy my DH nice things and vice versa? Why shouldn't I buy MIL her favourite perfume that she wouldn't normally buy herself because of cost? Or my aunt tickets to a singer she's desperate to see?

Is it just martyrdom? Do these people actually not buy for anyone other than the children?!

This has given me inexplicable rage this morning

Some people are tighter than a badgers...

I have no use for makeup, smelly candles, gift sets, ornaments ( have enough) ,clothes ( have enough - and especially not nuisance items like scarves,.handbags, jewellery). I don't drink.

So any of this just a waste, goes straight to the charity shop unopened. I have all the stuff I need and so do most people I know. With such good fortune - declare a ceasefire. Let's meet for a meal. Not tight at all, just life is too short for pointless boring shopping.

Btw I like chocolates but females rarely get given those, apparently none of us have enough self control .

Travis you'd hate me

The older I get the more intolerant I get to what I see as trifling stuff.

So I'd be happy with things like honey, tea, good quality oil, chocolate, or if someone bought me a specific item I wanted/needed, nothing else, I want to downsize.

Twice recently I was given a pair of earrings which I didn't like, I don't want earrings, and a metre high sunflower. I refused to accept either.

Sorry that makes me sound rude and bah humbug

If adults like presents they should be given them

I don't like being given presents. If they are something I don't want (usually) it's a waste of the other person's time and money and world resources. If it's something I do want (rare) I then feel guilty that I probably didn't get the other person something equally right.

It isn't even Christmas yet and I am already looking at a poinsettia that I have no room for and a tin of shortbread. Does anyone actually like shortbread? Tin here that no one will eat.

I have a couple of friends and relatives that absolutely love shortbread....

I only like homemade shortbread - the stuff in a tin maybe could be used in a rocky road?

Rocky road my favourite...yum

Maybe I will put it in the food bank box. Do you think supermarket would mind me taking stuff in, I always put stuff I've bought in the shop in the collection boxes. I feel a bit weird about walking in with stuff but I suppose they are too busy to notice anyway.

It just seems such a waste and as I've had chocolates, some really lovely ginger biscuits in dark chocolate, a Dundee cake plus stuff I had already bought I just can't see anyone eating them. In my house they would only be eaten if people were starving and there was nothing else.

Love shortbread but just dont understand the concept of giving them as presents, unless homemade. Its not like you cant buy your own if you like it. Its like giving someone a packet a fishfingers and a bottle of bleach. Awesome, some day to day items I could buy myself if I needed it. Cheers.

The thing is PaintingByNumbers, I could do with a bottle of bleach (shopping failure yesterday) and I quite like fishfingers so they would be alot more useful.

I suppose they would look a bit odd wrapped up for Christmas, the fish fingers might make the paper soggy. There is no easy answer to the Christmas issues.

I think the reason why a lot of people think like this is because so many people are terrible present buyers. I never ever buy tat. I either buy good quality, thoughtful presents or I don’t bother. I give out a Christmas list to my family every year (I’m 26, no children, my cousins and I are the “kids”) and everyone is always pleased to have it as it makes things so much easier :)

Wouldnt it be even easier to just buy it yourself though?
Oh well, I guess its a ritual I just dont really 'get'

I love buttery shortbread.

See, I love edibles or drinks. I’d far rather those than some horrific ornament or annual that dm insists on giving. This year, she wanted to get us something tangible. We have a new garden bench.

DH and I buy a couple of expensive gifts which we wouldn’t dream of getting ourselves-£50 perfume, for example. Christmas is NOT just for kids. I’d be really pissed off if my DH didn’t get me something to open.

I have no issues buying myself expensive perfume or anything else, if I can afford it that is. And if I can't really afford it and I have to buy someone an expensive gift just so I can have an expensive gift in return that seems illogical - I'd rather chose something that was expensive myself. myself. No way would I be happy with someone else choosing my perfume.

See, I love edibles or drinks Do you literally like every possible edible they could buy? There isn't anything you wouldn't want? I am surprised, I thought most people had things they love, things that are OK and things they don't like or even hate. I love lots of edibles but I don't like shortbread, or snails, or marmalade.

I hate lindt Lindor can't stand them and people keep getting me them. I find a lot of people like to get your edibles they like as opposed to what I like.

you

I wasn't very well and my friend gave me shortbread in a lovely tin. Don't you enjoy the warm cosy feeling of receiving a gift, and indeed of seeing yours given? No? There is such a thing as being to cynical. It sucks all the enjoyment out of life.

We only buy for children if they have children and vice versa. But I also but for my adult siblings and uncle who don’t have children.

I love presents and I’m an adult! Although I’m happy to forgo presents from friends so we can give each other’s children presents.

Enjoy your presents and ignore any misery guts!

ignore any misery guts! People who don't like to recieve presents they don't need or want are misery guts - you seriously think that?
How can you be happy to receive stuff you don't want just because it's wrapped in pretty paper - really?!!

Nah, no warm cosy feelings. I guess thats why I dont like presents. I get anxious stressy feelings.

And honestly, I dont understand either how come people cant spend £50 on themselves when it isnt an issue of not having the money. If you are both happy to spend on each other, no issues there, but its not very logical.

I hate lindt Lindor can't stand them and people keep getting me them. I find a lot of people like to get your edibles they like as opposed to what I like.

I don't think it's because they are being lazy or anything else bad. In the absence of information, I think it's quite natural for people to project their likes on to other people.

The trouble is people feeling like they must get you something. if they don't know you well enough to know you don't like like (which, again, is a gift you can simply get yourself in endless quantities if you like it), they perhaps shouldn't get you anything.

I think the role of gifts is when you can give something to someone that they didn't think of themselves.

I think it’s misery not to allow someone presents who wants them, not that you should be forced to have them if you don’t?!
Also, perhaps some people get better gifts.... I’ve never had chocolates/smellies/bad scarf for Christmas. My family are all very careful gift givers.

But live and let live, don’t force your non gift giving on adults who enjoy them and we shan’t buy you orange nail varnish... deal?!