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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think ladies first has no place these days

402 replies

Idreamofalandrover · 17/12/2017 22:20

They've used it twice on the apprentice tonight, why? We aren't in the 50s anymore!

OP posts:
theimportanceofbeinghappy · 17/12/2017 22:27

The phrase "ladies first" like when opening a door?

Is this all you've got to worry about? Someone being polite?

g1itterati · 17/12/2017 22:27

Well I missed the Apprentice, but even our 14 and 10 year old sons seem capable of remembering basic manners like that and they certainly were not around in the 50s.

BroomHandledMouser · 17/12/2017 22:28

Manners OP - basic manners

DonkeyPunch88 · 17/12/2017 22:29

Probably get flamed but I really like it to be honest. Shows nice manners and I quite like the gentlemanly respect when people do it for me Smile

surferjet · 17/12/2017 22:32

I love a man who treats a woman with respect.
Op, maybe post this on the feminist board, you’ll get more people agreeing with you. Maybe?

Idreamofalandrover · 17/12/2017 22:32

It's not manors, it's inequality and belongs in the past.

OP posts:
1stTimeMama · 17/12/2017 22:33

Some of us still like to be treated nicely though, so I'm all for it. Surely manners aren't an offence now?!

Idreamofalandrover · 17/12/2017 22:33

I'm not going near that batshit crazy board again..

OP posts:
JeReviens · 17/12/2017 22:34

Well you’re right about one thing. It certainly isn’t ‘manors’

Hmm
RestingGrinchFace · 17/12/2017 22:35

But it's not material inequality. Being allowed through a doorway first doesn't restrict your access to education or allow to discriminate against you because of your sex. Go find some real problems to worry about.

TheNewSchmoo · 17/12/2017 22:36

It's not manors. It is, however, manners.

Nishky · 17/12/2017 22:36

I hate ‘ ladies first’ - patronising bollocks.

I may have had wine

But seriously why is it NICE?

hidinginthenightgarden · 17/12/2017 22:38

It is outdated, as it the man paying for everything.

It has been a very long time since anyone paid me the curtesy to be honest.

cornflakegirl · 17/12/2017 22:38

I like good manners. I always hold the door for people. I strenuously object to ladies first - what else do they think my vagina prevents me from doing?

alfagirl73 · 17/12/2017 22:38

My boyfriend always opens doors for me etc... and I like it. I don't see it as inequality - he totally respects me and my career etc. I just see it as good old fashioned manners and rather charming actually.

Nishky · 17/12/2017 22:39

Oh and my husband treats me with absolute respect -as an equal- not as some precious snowflake who has to go through a door first- why can’t manners mean that a person holds a door open for another person

VeraVinegarTits · 17/12/2017 22:39

Doesn't offend me in the slightest.

elQuintoConyo · 17/12/2017 22:41

It's just so they can ogle our arses Grin*

  • total bollocks, but ffs.

My best friend and i say it to each other. I'll say it to DH. My 6yo will say it to me. I'll say it to him. I'll even say it to the dog!

Osolea · 17/12/2017 22:41

I like it.

meredintofpandiculation · 17/12/2017 22:41

I like good manners. I always hold the door for people. I strenuously object to ladies first - what else do they think my vagina prevents me from doing?
This!
But I just smile and say thank you. Life's too short.

Nyx1 · 17/12/2017 22:42

I was baffled by this too.

Urubu · 17/12/2017 22:42

I just see it as good old fashioned manners and rather charming actually
This

elQuintoConyo · 17/12/2017 22:42

...or they want you to shield them from potential zombies...

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/12/2017 22:42

Apprentice candidates are usually all smarmy and false and trying to win favours. But generally my experience is that men who call women "ladies" and make a big thing out of their chivalry and gentlemanly manners and "treating" when they go out are the ones who expect to be treated in a particular way and think that said "ladies" owe them something in return; but I'm sure others have different and much nicer experiences they'll be keen to share.

I have absolutely no time for men who make a big thing of "ladies first" when actually what they mean is "ladies who I am trying to impress because I want to get lucky with them." I have no problem with men opening doors and moving chairs for me, providing they'd do the same for anybody else - including for other men. If it's simply good manners then it should apply to everyone.

TDHManchester · 17/12/2017 22:44

It has no place. Equality for all, that is what everyone has been fighting for isn't it? I wouldn't wish to be perceived as patronising toward someone just because of gender.

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