To think ladies first has no place these days

[Idreamofalandrover]

They've used it twice on the apprentice tonight, why? We aren't in the 50s anymore!

I would always say thank you, no point being rude- but it is still patronising bollocks and I would be a bit disappointed if my son indulged in it

Must admit, was surprised when Karen said ‘ladies first’.

It’s a lifeboat thing. Women and children first. Making the assumption that men are likely to be strong enough to either swim for it or help others when the ship goes down.
And chivalric notions re doors. I haven’t heard it for years. In fact, there is a tv ad in Canada now where a dude is stuck in a coffee shop doorway holding it open while everyone walks through, in a piss take about Canadians being nice.
That’s how I perceive it these days - it’s about general good manners, with women being just as likely to hold open the door for a dude, as the other way round. You’ll still find a few dinosaurs about though. Usually men of a certain age.
Where I live it can become a bit of a competition, with people of both sexes doing the ‘no, no, you first, I insist’ routine. Just get through the fecking door.
But yeah. Plenty of actual sex-based inequalities to worry about before we get down to whether it is sexist to hold a door open for someone.

It's becoming a rarity now and tbh I miss it.

I'm not going near that batshit crazy board again..

I dont see it as an issue bit i do think whilst its still expected now in modern times, what general manners are expected of women to men. ( but i dont care enough to put my loaves in the oven in preparation for a bunfight)

I judge men poorly for not opening doors, allowing me to exit the lift first etc.

My DH is s gentleman and it's one of the characteristics that attracted me to him the most. He certainly doesn't think women are mentally inept and he knows I can pull out my own chair at the table, etc. It's respectful, not patronising. I think good manners are what separate the men from the boys personally.

Sexist bollocks. Why is it manners to imply that women need special treatment due to being weaker and insuperior?

Manors!!!

It's good manners and I like it (and I'm a hard as nails mum with a tough job in a very male industry).

Find something important to get stressed about.

I couldn't care less. Of course it is very dated and it might fall into disuse, but it isn't something I can be arsed to get het up over

Manors are large houses, by the way.

Yes, if a man barged past me to get out of the door first I’d think he was an ignorant oaf.
I remember when my dc were little and in a buggy, I’d always have a man rush to help me up or down stairs which I thought was so lovey & gentleman like. ( had a few women offer to help too i must add )

I think it has it's place. Otherwise you just gave strongest first or fastest first, with men shoving women out of their way to get where they want to go.

Well, I happen to like it. So much so that when a 'date' took me to a restaurant and proceeded to enter before me, I insisted we go outside and that he try again

Manners maketh man. It has fuck all to do with equality.

Regardless of sex, there's a business theory that says the person who holds the door open has the power
Telling colleagues this has brought interesting results in our large corridor filled offices

I like it too.

My husband holds doors open for me, manners, that’s all. I like it. He also lets me go through aforementioned open door first, one of his many charms I fell for.

I’ve never wanted equality, I always knew I was better than most men anyway, so I have no issues with men letting me go first.

This series has been littered with some quite sexist language and attitudes from Sugar’s Team. Then there was the brilliantly obtuse advert that had a white man pushing two minority women aside to “win” a race. 🙄

Manners maketh man. It has fuck all to do with equality.
Of course it is to do with equality. What makes it “good manners” to let a woman go first, other than some ridiculous 50s throwback?

Otherwise you just gave strongest first or fastest first, with men shoving women out of their way to get where they want to go.

Plenty of women stronger and faster than plenty of men.

I'm a feminist and I sometimes like some of this stuff - it depends on the spirit in which it is done.
My ex did none of this stuff and left me to fend for myself which meant I was always trailing behind, carrying things. I was always trying to jiggle a high chair into position with one hand while holding a baby under the other arm, while he was sitting down reading a menu. My BIL always gets to the table first and helps himself to everything on it and you have to jostle not to get forgotten.

the way I see it, things like this as a corrective to women being smaller, often encumbered by babies and children, and socialised not to be aggressive. If men don't actively work to see women get treated fairly, then they don't get treated fairly.

I can't bear old fashioned "manners" with smarm. But a guy checking you're ok on the way in and out of places, when food is being served, that you have what you need, etc - I bloody love it and it's been bloody miserable being thrown to the bottom of the heap for years up to now.

I think that the person who arrives at the door first should open it and hold it open for the person they are with to go through it first.

It makes no difference whether the door opener is a man or a woman.

I'd think a lot more of a man who allowed me to hold a door open for them, when appropriate, than I would of a man who rushed to get to the door before me because "ladies first".

How come some people only harp on about 'inequality' when men aren't getting something quite ordinary and mundane? I wonder if these people also get cross about the pay gap, the epidemic that is rape and health inequalities women face?

Get a grip. You can't be patronised without your consent.

"So much so that when a 'date' took me to a restaurant and proceeded to enter before me, I insisted we go outside and that he try again shock"

You sound nice. In some countries going into a restaurant is traditionally a situation where a man should go first to avoid all eyes being on his female companion. Another one is walking up the stairs for obvious reasons.

Men tend to hold open doors for me because they have good manners; not because they perceive that I'm incapable of doing it myself. What part of that are you struggling with?

"I think that the person who arrives at the door first should open it and hold it open for the person they are with to go through it first.

It makes no difference whether the door opener is a man or a woman. "

I agree, but if an older man holds the door open I do thank him. It's dying out anyway.