To give a gift-wrapped potato to DD on Christmas morning?

[Skittlesandbeer]

Was chatting with school mums yesterday while we watched kids play sport. This idea was raised, and split opinion in the group.

Given that most of us have used Santa/Father Christmas coming as a carrot or a stick to encourage good behaviour in DC over November and December, doesn’t it follow that we should deal with the bad behaviour on the Christmas present pile as well?

Is it unreasonable to add a beautifully gift-wrapped potato with a label that says that this would have been a another proper present from Santa, had the behaviour been better?

This came out of a conversation about how our kids (aged 4-8) have cottoned on to the disconnect between their mums harping on about Santa’s ‘naughty or nice’ list, and in reality there’s actually a shed load of stuff to open (even though they know they’ve been naughty). One mum said her kids sneer that Santa doesn’t care, and they know they can get presents anyway so why bother being good?

I quite liked the idea, and of keeping the potato in the ‘loot pile’ for a while afterwards as a reminder (until I can’t be arsed going to the shops and cook it for their dinner!).

So AIBU to wrap one?

And perhaps give it to DD first, if she wakes me at 5.30am on the 25th after I’ve had to coordinate 40 pairs of coat hanger/tinsel angel wings for Christmas Eve mass?

A valid parenting hack, or unreasonably mean (Christmas) spirited?

Discipline only works when it’s immediately after the punishment. Delayed ‘discipline’ on top of discipline you already provided at the time is just a way for you to one up a child which is disgusting.

Another one upset for Sylvia - How awful. I just couldn't do that to my children; to see their sad faces, no matter how 'naughty' they had been. There is a time to address bad behaviour and Christmas isn't it!

"Everyone on their continent? confused"

Yes, do explain, OP.

I repeat, this is a cultural difference.

Really. British culture is different to Italy/Spain/France/Canada/Germany.

Until 50 years ago there was no Father Christmas in Spain. DH just had the three kings on the 6th January leaving a few presents in his shoe.

You do have to widen your minds a bit people.

Photo attached. I don't really want to include child's face but I promise he is smiling.

And yes, in Italy it's a witch! No father Christmas.

I think using Christmas to punish children is classic shit parenting tbh. My mum did this to my brother, threatened him with no presents if his behaviour didn’t improve which, tbf was dreadful. But, it was dreadful because we had an awful abusive father and he was having a hell of a time of school that my mum seemd oblivious to. I still feel so sad for him 30 years later.

You see, Endo has a lovely potato!

Nope never. How could you watch someone be so excited and then be responsible for their sadness? It's awful. They won't remember what it was they did, they'll just remember having nasty parents.

It's horrible and it's lazy parenting.

I never used to threaten my kids with no presents if they weren't good.

What the hell do you do the rest of the year if you haven't got a threat to hold over them? Do you actually think that would encourage them to 'be good'?

Yabu.
What point does it make?
That only people who are nice all the time get stuff? We all know that is a load of bollocks.
Unconditional love, peace and goodwill etc.

Sylvia how sad, I am sorry. Parents sometimes do mean things.

Really. British culture is different to Italy/Spain/France/Canada/Germany

And all of those countries have different customs to each other.

I think most people understand that there are cultural differences at Christmas - MN is a fairly diverse place...

Can you be more specific about your criticism of everyone 'not getting it'? It's okay to not like a custom, even if it's commonplace elsewhere.

You do have to widen your minds a bit people

In what sense? I know how Christmas is celebrated in quite a few countries. I've experienced it first hand. It doesn't mean I need or want to absorb it into my own, now, here.

Well, as someone who tonight “put all the Christmas presents in the bin” it looks like our girl will get a whole sack of tatties on Christmas morning. ☹️

Gawd I hate the run up to Christmas

My uncle always used to wrap me up a lump of coal as a joke. Personally I thought it was quite funny and would then draw on his face with it after he passed out into a food and booze coma after xmas lunch.

I can appreciate that other children may not see the funny side and probably wouldn’t do it to my children however.

danTDM you and Op are talking about two different things. Your tradition is a cultural thing, it's a gentle reminder that naughtiness is noticed but it's something all the children experience together and the fun of it is that really the children are getting a treat.

The Op was suggesting giving the potato as a punishment, she clearly connects it to behavior in her opening post and the "joke" was to be at the child's expense, setting an expectation with a beautifully wrapped gift only for the child to find an item inside that in her culture is threatened as a punishment. We're not misunderstanding a "lighthearted" thread although Op has later tried to make out it was just a joke.

@Originalfoogirl eh?

Imagine how you would feel if among the nicely wrapped presents from your partner there was a beautifully wrapped up bit of many broccoli.

I'm sure you could take a joke, but the vegetable was instead of a 'really nice present'. But your partner can say: "Sorry Darling, I was going to get you some Jo Malone, but you were really grumpy that time in the supermarket/ you don't put all your clothes in the laundry / despite repeated requests you still haven't paid that bill etc etc...."

I bet you would not feel a million dollars nor be full of Christmas cheer on Christmas morning.

Doing it to a child is spiteful and stupid.

sorry 'many' not 'many'

Grrr... MANKY!

Sorry

Bettedavis nobody is asking you to absorb it 'now, here' into your own Christmas. How ridiculous.

Do you know where the OP is from? Do you know where she/he lives? No. You don't.

You don't like a custom? Oh well. Tant pis.

Just be more open minded FGS. It's a potato.

This hysteria over Christmas on mumsnet is crazy.

Should I make cauliflower cheese with the Christmas dinner?
'Christ no'
'My DH hasn't bought me what I want AIBU?'
Yes you bloody are.
Pleeeeeeeze.

Should I clarify that I’m not suggesting a potato as the only gift? I honestly don’t see how a kid opening a potato while sitting in a pile of gifts they absolutely love, will be traumatised for life. Perhaps it depends on the kid

I agree with you. Mine would look at me like and certainly no tears. They are also bastards and would probably plant it because I keep telling them not to plant potatoes in the garden.

I think the people who happily tell strangers on the internet how shit they are at parenting are probably not the best parents themselves, it doesn't show a great empathetic nature really. So I wouldn't worry about the posters calling you horrible.

Goodness me, turns out I'm a terrible parent sapping the joy out of Christmas for the DC!
We've had the potato in the stocking for forever. Sometimes one, sometimes two and there could possibly even have been a year when there were three.
The DC have never been told santa would bring them nothing but if they are naughty they might miss out on something.
They are very much not traumatised by it often discussing who has been worse and will end up with the most. They'll even tell each other if they think it's potato worthy behaviour!
They're well adjusted children and I'm sure they will have nothing but happy memories of Christmas

OP, how would you feel if one of your friends or family members gave you a beautifully-wrapped present, and then you opened it on Christmas Day to find a note saying, "I was planning to give you another present, but after hearing about how spitefully you treat your daughter I decided you don't deserve one. Merry Christmas, by the way"?

blibblibs

Actually I think that sounds quite fun! I bet they will look back on that and laugh tbh