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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give a gift-wrapped potato to DD on Christmas morning?

389 replies

Skittlesandbeer · 15/12/2017 21:47

Was chatting with school mums yesterday while we watched kids play sport. This idea was raised, and split opinion in the group.

Given that most of us have used Santa/Father Christmas coming as a carrot or a stick to encourage good behaviour in DC over November and December, doesn’t it follow that we should deal with the bad behaviour on the Christmas present pile as well?

Is it unreasonable to add a beautifully gift-wrapped potato with a label that says that this would have been a another proper present from Santa, had the behaviour been better?

This came out of a conversation about how our kids (aged 4-8) have cottoned on to the disconnect between their mums harping on about Santa’s ‘naughty or nice’ list, and in reality there’s actually a shed load of stuff to open (even though they know they’ve been naughty). One mum said her kids sneer that Santa doesn’t care, and they know they can get presents anyway so why bother being good?

I quite liked the idea, and of keeping the potato in the ‘loot pile’ for a while afterwards as a reminder (until I can’t be arsed going to the shops and cook it for their dinner!).

So AIBU to wrap one?

And perhaps give it to DD first, if she wakes me at 5.30am on the 25th after I’ve had to coordinate 40 pairs of coat hanger/tinsel angel wings for Christmas Eve mass? Xmas Grin

A valid parenting hack, or unreasonably mean (Christmas) spirited?

OP posts:
nauticant · 15/12/2017 22:21

A valid parenting hack

If you want to use passive aggression in your gift giving, then do it. But don't hide behind weasel words like hack.

Theresahairbrushinthefridge · 15/12/2017 22:21

To wrap a potato or not wrap a potato......

Parents who can't parent and deal with behaviour issues threaten that a magical figure won't deliver requested presents if children aren't "good".

I am sure that's not what Christmas is supposed to be about.

Or am I missing something?Hmm

SoupDragon · 15/12/2017 22:21

I once told DS2 he would be getting coal and potatoes for Christmas. He said "I will make chips."

Wyrdesista · 15/12/2017 22:21

I feel for Sylvia, it sounds horrible.Why do people do this to their dc?

Viviennemary · 15/12/2017 22:21

I think it's a totally horrible and cruel idea. And I don't think I am a softie type of person. It's vile.

danTDM · 15/12/2017 22:22

Umm, I'm bemused at the shock and outrage here. In Italy and Spain (where I live) you buy black honeycomb coal in hessian sacks in our equivalent of Tesco and every bakery!

Children love it, my DD (an extremely good girl) loves it.

It's the norm to play this trick everywhere on the continent.

I think France and Germany too.
Nobody ever became traumatised over eceiving a potato! I presume the OP also has other presents!!!

danTDM · 15/12/2017 22:23

op do you want me to send you some coal? I can do so easily, just PM me!

hungryhippo90 · 15/12/2017 22:23

I grew up with the threat of the Repo man. I didn't have to only behave to get gifts, I lived in fear they'd be taken away too. Unnecessarily harsh tbh.

I'll never forget when DD first got the Santa hint, the whole day of xmas eve she asked and asked if she had been a good girl. It made me feel awful to know she was worrying that she wouldn't get gifts from Santa

ButterfliesAreWeird · 15/12/2017 22:23

My kid asked for an orange from Santa and he likes to hug potatoes so I'm sure he would be thrilled at that 😂 side note you wrap Santa presents? But seriously I would write that Santa is holding the present until the child learn to behave and have it appear when they are having a particularly good week.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 15/12/2017 22:24

While I don't have any issue with the "naughty or nice list" I honestly think doing this to a child in an effort to teach them a lesson is mean and spiteful, it's different if you know they'll see it as a little joke as some posters have outlined.

I remember as a little girl being sooo excited on Christmas morning and I can only imagine how devastated I or my siblings would have been if my parents did this. I just think there's something really off about choosing a day that many children would consider the best day of the year, to punish them for earlier bad behavior. If they're young enough to believe in Santa/FC then they're young enough for this to really upset them.

ChasedByBees · 15/12/2017 22:24

Sylvia that's terrible. Flowers did your mum regret it ever?

EmpressoftheMundane · 15/12/2017 22:25

Teasing is mean.

Making your child the butt of a joke the implies they aren't a good person in front of the most important people in the world to them is mean.

It makes you a bully because as the parent you have all the power and as a child they are at your mercy.

Starlight2345 · 15/12/2017 22:26

you didn't create it however to me Christmas is a celebration not a time for repenting . Let her enjoy the day

StaplesCorner · 15/12/2017 22:27

I see what you're trying to do, but your child will probably remember it as spiteful and petty - that's because it is petty, but the OP thinks her "joke" is hilarious. So what are you trying to achieve OP? A really good photo opportunity where you can all have a laugh at your DD's expense (get those phones out ready for a snap!) or an exercise in good Christian discipline (after all your hard work at mass?) Hang on, let me put a santa hat on a grin to show what a fab and funny parent I am Xmas Hmm

chiaseeddisapointmentagain · 15/12/2017 22:27

Parent better and you won't have to follow through on ridiculous 'santa' threats.

Wyrdesista · 15/12/2017 22:27

dan I don’t think people are outraged that the op wants to play a little trick on their dc, a lighthearted trick with a wrapped up potato isn’t the issue.

It’s the whole ‘this potato could be a great gift like an iPad or a great doll but you’ve misbehaved recently and I’m deeply pissed off with you so that’s why you got a crap potato.’

It’s incredibly passive aggressive and very nasty.

If the op wasn’t making some weird point about discipline then a wrapped up potato would be just a joke pressie and really very innocuous.

Flopjustwantscoffee · 15/12/2017 22:27

Dan, that's different though because the coal is actually a sweet and therefore not a punishment (even if it is slightly a trick, it's a nice trick rather than the other way round - something that looks like a present but isn't).

Flopjustwantscoffee · 15/12/2017 22:28

A marzipan potatoe could work though...

endehors · 15/12/2017 22:29

doesn’t it follow that we should deal with the bad behaviour on the Christmas present pile as well?

No, I don't see that at all. I think gift wrapping a potato with a note about previous bad behaviour is daft at best.

ladybirdsaredotty · 15/12/2017 22:29

Dan is the honeycomb coal edible, then? Genuine question, never heard of it! But if that's the case and it's a known thing within some countries/cultures then that's different to what's being proposed here?

Shouldnotwouldnot · 15/12/2017 22:29

Santa wasn’t invented as a tool to help you discipline your children.

gamerwidow · 15/12/2017 22:29

I tease Dd with the naughty list but she knows I’m only joking. If she misbehaves I give her a punishment appropriate to her behaviour immediately I don’t hold the threat of Santa not giving her a present over her. That’s just lazy parenting. Sylvia your parents were unspeakably cruel I can’t even imagine the thought process that led to that happening!

endehors · 15/12/2017 22:30

Dan, I like the sound of that black honeycomb!

NC4now · 15/12/2017 22:30

I always throw a potato or two in their stockings. They think it’s hilarious.
But they are generally good kids and get lots of lovely presents.
No-one’s 100% perfect.

GreenTulips · 15/12/2017 22:32

This method doesn't work with a child who really likes potatoes

Best thing I've read all day!!!

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