To give a gift-wrapped potato to DD on Christmas morning?

[Skittlesandbeer]

Was chatting with school mums yesterday while we watched kids play sport. This idea was raised, and split opinion in the group.

Given that most of us have used Santa/Father Christmas coming as a carrot or a stick to encourage good behaviour in DC over November and December, doesn’t it follow that we should deal with the bad behaviour on the Christmas present pile as well?

Is it unreasonable to add a beautifully gift-wrapped potato with a label that says that this would have been a another proper present from Santa, had the behaviour been better?

This came out of a conversation about how our kids (aged 4-8) have cottoned on to the disconnect between their mums harping on about Santa’s ‘naughty or nice’ list, and in reality there’s actually a shed load of stuff to open (even though they know they’ve been naughty). One mum said her kids sneer that Santa doesn’t care, and they know they can get presents anyway so why bother being good?

I quite liked the idea, and of keeping the potato in the ‘loot pile’ for a while afterwards as a reminder (until I can’t be arsed going to the shops and cook it for their dinner!).

So AIBU to wrap one?

And perhaps give it to DD first, if she wakes me at 5.30am on the 25th after I’ve had to coordinate 40 pairs of coat hanger/tinsel angel wings for Christmas Eve mass?

A valid parenting hack, or unreasonably mean (Christmas) spirited?

I'm completely English btw, just lived all over the world and married a Spaniard and live in Spain.

so it's late here and I'm off.

DanTMD you are the one sounding hysterical.

If Christmas threads on MN are so challenging for you, I'd suggest you stop clicking on them.

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces

Lost my rag and told our girl I was throwing out the presents I bought her. It’s been a long week!

It is fun in our house, just as Christmas should be.
It has been known for the DC to hand me a potato at anytime of the year if they think I've been unreasonable
And I don't wrap them, lifes too short and we'll be eating them a few hours later!

Guys. Please. this is AIBU, the OP has to ask an AIBU question, then we get to say yay or nay. Its not Chat. You gotta have a system.

I think an unwrapped potatoes in stocking along with usual stocking gifts is one thing, but actually wrapping and writing notes takes it to another level. It's something that would have humiliated me and deeply upset me.

blibblibs tbh I love it! I think I will steal it when I have children (ttc atm no luck so far but tests show promise )

I can totally see think being something my parents would have done if Pinterest existed back then haha! I think my mum would have unwrappped a few too! But then me and my dad are total goady fuckers! The poor woman deserves a medal

That kind of disappointment (something that looks like a present but turns out to have a sting in the tail) will stay with them for a LONG time, believe me. My dad once gave me a huge gift wrapped box a few days before xmas, as he didn't like the fact that I'd been going on about xmas and how excited I was about presents and that I wished I could have them nownownow (as any 6 year old would!). I opened it with amazement and excitement at the idea of an early present. It was an empty box. 35 years later I still fail to fathom how an essentially loving father could do something so unbelievably nasty.

StaplesCorner sorry!

Op YANBU but I don’t ghink you should add a note, and keep it light and with humour

DH gave DD a lump of coal in her stocking one year, she found it fucking hilarious and still has it on her bookshelf

As a genuine punishment though a lump of coal or a potato pretending to be instead of other presents is cruel. My mum one year got so pissed off with me that she wrapped a box with a note from Father Christmas saying I didn't deserve presents. She did give me my presents after we had been to mass but that was over 20 years ago and I haven't totally forgiven her, it upset me so much that my biggest brother ended up having to tell me Father Christmas wasn't real, because I was generally pretty well behaved and all these other children who were way naughtier than I was not getting notes really upset me and damaged my self esteem because I was convinced Father Christmas just didn't like me as much as he liked other children (which sounds really stupid now but to 6yr old me it made total sense)

Frog that's awful as well, amazing how these things stay with people. Ignorance and spite.

frogsoup really? I don’t see that as nasty, you wanted to unwrap something so he gave you something to unwrap. Maybe it was a joke in poor taste but I don’t see how that is unbelievably nasty? That is assuming you still got your presents on Xmas day, if that’s all you got in total I understand why that would be awful

Oh Xihha, that's so sad for a little 6 year old.

It's really cruel to do this to children.

I did once give my Dad a potato for Xmas all wrapped up but it was as a joke and he has a real present too. Plus he liked it anyway!

XIhha I totally get the connection between Father Christmas giving you a 'naughty present' and self esteem. I too, as rather a sensitive child would have been convinced he didn't like me in some way or was angry with me. It would really bother me.

Not everything has to be a life lesson. Deal with naughty behaviour in the moment and move on.

That said, I can see how a random potato present in a pile of otherwise nice presents could be totally hilarious to children, as long as it didn't come with any negative connotations. I'm sure my two nephews would find it hilarious, the cheeky little sneak weasels.

Stickthat that I guess you are of like mind with my dad!! I've asked him about it since and he still can't see what was wrong with it, and said exactly the same as you. I am frankly mystified by the reasoning though, sorry! You don't think that a 6yo who sees a large wrapped present is likely to assume that there is something inside, and be hugely disappointed when there isn't?! Do you only give your kids empty boxes on xmas day? Kids like unwrapping presents but unless they are 12 months old, it's because they know there'll be something inside!!! Yes I did get my presents on xmas day, but it was still a pretty mean trick to get me get all excited about the idea of an early present, only to find out I wasn't going to get one after all. It's not like I'd been obnoxious about it or anything, I was just a 6yo really excited at the prospect of xmas!

I hope you now realise that your hilarious, original, novel idea is actually just nasty and spiteful.
To go to the trouble of wrapping it up beautifully, and wanting to play mind games with your own kid...no.

Why would you put a chid down to make you feel better confused

So she can be the big cheese at the school gate and tell all the other school mums that she did it.

Please don't do that. There's really just one day of the year that's for making magical childhood memories and you're planning on upsetting your kids when they're in a wonderfully happy mood, just to 'teach them a lesson'? Please let them have a day of happiness. I'm gutted for kids this is going to happen to. How very mean.

frogsoup Do you only give your kids empty boxes on xmas day?

But it wasn’t Christmas Day?

I don’t have children yet (TTC) but I do have friends with children who are around 6. One I am very close with and if her dad did this she would find it hilarious.

Ok any day really, it's the concept of a present that is important. If you turned up with what looked like a big present for her and it turned out to be an empty box, you don't think your friends 6yo would be disappointed?!! Because I know an awful lot of 6yos and most of them would be bloody crushed. You said 'i wanted something to unwrap' - nope, I was 6, I wanted a present! Maybe I was an ungrateful wretch, but you'll find that most 6yos are similarly literal-minded!

I would love that as a present.