To have thought we were well past calling gender dysmorohia a "mental illness"

[mostlikelyanunpopularviewpoint]

Just that really.

My male friend (who is quite young, early twenties) has recently confided in me that he is transgender and wishes to transition into presenting as female. As my friend still refers to himself as 'he' as he is not openly transgender, I shall refer to my friend as 'he' in this post to keep things simple.

What worries me is that he is feeling suicidal, has no support apart from my friend group and is generally in a need of a lot of help right now. Hence I feel annoyed at what happened.

One of our mutual friends who my friend has also told turned around and said to me, "he needs help, it's just a mental illness and he can recover from it and live a normal life."

AIBU to be unhappy at this statement and to think that although obviously this is a very controversial subject, with many different opinions on how integrate trans rights without compromising the rights of biological woman, in this day and age it is not acceptable to refer to someone who identifies as transgender as "mentally ill?"

Also would like to add that this thread is not to debate the rights of transgender people vs woman. I believe there are several threads like for this discussion at the moment, hence my AIBU pertains literally to the fact that I find it unacceptable to call being transgender "a mental illness" which implies it is temporary and is something a person can recover from!

I honestly thought this was discriminatory and that most people do NOT see being transgender as a mental illness?

*women

It IS a mental illness. Fairly obviously.!

What would you say if I told you I believed I was a spaniel?

Sorry, are you saying that your friend who is suicidal as a result of his feelings of gender dysmorphia doesn’t have a mental illness? I mean, what do you think being suicidal is if not a very severe symptom of being mentally unwell?

I honestly thought this was discriminatory and that most people do NOT see being transgender as a mental illness?

Maybe you could expand a bit on why you see facts and honesty as "discriminatory"?

(Obviously being unpleasant or cruel to someone because of their MH problems is not on, but that's different to denying facts.)

It is a mental illness. The drive to stop it being classified as such is resulting in a lack of mental health support for those who need it, such as your suicidal friend.

Gender dysphoria is in the DSM. It is by definition a psychological disorder.

It’s like body dysmorphia. People who see themselves as fat or ugly when they are not, they can develop conditions such as anorexia or self harming as a result. This is a mental illness. Just like gender dysmorphia

I'd say wanting to be a Spaniel is irrational and entirely different.

I just think if I told my friend he was mentally ill and could be 'cured' with counselling and therapy and then told him 'it's all in your head,' I think our friendship would be well and truly over.

I don't think you understand what a mental illness is exactly.

I agree with you OP but doubt you'll get much support here.

I'd say wanting to be a Spaniel is irrational and entirely different.

How about if I said I was Asian? (I'm not.)

I'd say wanting to be a Spaniel is irrational and entirely different.

The poster didn’t say wanting to be a spaniel. They said believed they were a spaniel. Not the same.

told him 'it's all in your head,' I think our friendship would be well and truly over.

Why? Is that what you'd say to a schizophrenic friend?

I think our friendship would be well and truly over.

People having negative reactions to facts doesn’t make those facts untrue.

I'd say wanting to be a Spaniel is irrational

Neither is wanting to become the opposite sex

YABU, gender dysphoria is a mental illness and I strongly believe that 'transitioning' and taking hormones should be a last resort.

Also if you told anyone that their mental illness was 'all in their head' the friendship would be over.

I have had anorexia and BDD. It was cured through therapy. I guess I can use that as a comparison.

All the trans people I know (and quite a few, my friendship circle is very diverse) have had hormone therapy and now live entirely as their 'new' gender. They would all be devastated and angry if I insisted they could be 'cured' and live as their biological gender.

What I mean- and maybe this isn't clear in my OP- is AIBU to think being trans isn't a mental illness which can be cured such as BDD?

If it could be cured, why would we offer trans people irreversible hormone therapy? Why wouldn't everyone just be given therapy to cure it?

Why do you think that any mental illness is something that can be cured with therapy?

You really can't compare mental illness's. They are so many different variations. Not all can be cured.

A mental illness isn't defined by whether or not it can be cured. Hormone treatment may have alleviated some of the symptoms of their illness for your friends but that doesn't stop it being one.

why would we offer trans people irreversible hormone therapy?

“We” don’t. People who make money off it in one capacity or another do.

Look OP mental illness IS by its very nature irrational (saying you are a species/race/sex that you clearly aren't being a very clear example) but telling someone that their psychiatric delusion "is all in their head" would clearly be very unkind and not very helpful. You don't have to enter into the delusion with the afflicted person to be kind and supportive, but it would be wise to keep the facts straight in your head.

You do know that many trans people consider themselves to have a MH condition that they can accommodate, don't you?

I still don't feel like I'm being clear, so I apologise for that.

In my head- BDD and anorexia are curable and mental illnesses you can move on from.

If I do say transgender is a mental illness- I don't see how it can be cured. Ever. The people I know are absolutely, 100% convinced they were born in the wrong body. So far that medical professionals make irreversible changes.

What I mean is AIBU to think that being trans isn't curable and that you can't make someone who identifies as transgender feel fine with their actual gender through therapy and such?

I think that's clearer now. Ish.

Except that we do give people with gender dysphoria therapy OP and with time the majority of people with it grow out of it and become comfortable with their biological sex. Hormones and surgery are given as a last resort in the small number of cases where therapy hasn't worked.

I'm with you OP