To have thought we were well past calling gender dysmorohia a "mental illness"

[mostlikelyanunpopularviewpoint]

Just that really.

My male friend (who is quite young, early twenties) has recently confided in me that he is transgender and wishes to transition into presenting as female. As my friend still refers to himself as 'he' as he is not openly transgender, I shall refer to my friend as 'he' in this post to keep things simple.

What worries me is that he is feeling suicidal, has no support apart from my friend group and is generally in a need of a lot of help right now. Hence I feel annoyed at what happened.

One of our mutual friends who my friend has also told turned around and said to me, "he needs help, it's just a mental illness and he can recover from it and live a normal life."

AIBU to be unhappy at this statement and to think that although obviously this is a very controversial subject, with many different opinions on how integrate trans rights without compromising the rights of biological woman, in this day and age it is not acceptable to refer to someone who identifies as transgender as "mentally ill?"

Also would like to add that this thread is not to debate the rights of transgender people vs woman. I believe there are several threads like for this discussion at the moment, hence my AIBU pertains literally to the fact that I find it unacceptable to call being transgender "a mental illness" which implies it is temporary and is something a person can recover from!

I honestly thought this was discriminatory and that most people do NOT see being transgender as a mental illness?

I was absolutely 100% convinced I would need every single glass jar I could lay my hands on. Turns out I have obsessive compulsive disorder and it manifests itself in hoarding behaviours when I am stressed about money. I didn’t need the jars. Not a single one of them. (Thank you horrified friend who stopped me wrapping them in newspaper to move them to my new house)

If your friend is feeling suicidal then he most definitely is experiencing a decline in his mental health thus rendering him mentally ill.

Regardless of the reason your friend needs help if he is feeling suicidal ,arguing over another friends view here is not helping him and all this is meaningless if he does end his life.

80% of young people with gender dysphoria grow out of it so yes, it can be successfully treated and cured.

If I do say transgender is a mental illness- I don't see how it can be cured. Ever. The people I know are absolutely, 100% convinced they were born in the wrong body. So far that medical professionals make irreversible changes.

It's curable for some but not others, it seems. Even if it had a 0% cure rate, it would still be a mental illness.

Indulging the delusion (gender reassignment) was apparently developed as a humane way of managing this particular delusional mental illness in intransigent cases. Which is harmless enough, until the "transitioned men are literally women" stuff starts.

If gender dysphoria isn't an illness then what is the hormone therapy for? Do you feel that treating something with drugs rather than counseling somehow changes the nature of the illness or disorder? Plus of course many mental health conditions are lifelong.

Bearing in mind that if gender dysphoria is decided not to be an illness or mental health issue then most likely access to NHS services and treatment would disappear. So no more hormones on prescription for example.

You think its not a mental illness because it can't be cured? So anything that cannot be cured is not a mental illness? So schizophre, bipolar, adhd, intractable depression...not mental illnesses?

So after reading the replies maybe I am wrong about transgender not being a mental illness. Clearly I am mistaken on that, so I am sorry!

Following on from that, I suppose I would still be annoyed at the fact that our mutual friend believes being transgender can be 'cured.' And that my friend could easily be counselled into being happy with their biological gender, as this is what they suggested. So AIBU to think 'curing' someone who identified as transgender is not that easy and to be annoyed with my friends attitude towards trans friend? My friend also said to me it was 'messed up' and 'not a real thing' which I didn't mention originally as it didn't seem to be relevant at the time.

If it was that easy then adults would not get hormone therapy. Let alone teenagers.

What I mean is AIBU to think that being trans isn't curable and that you can't make someone who identifies as transgender feel fine with their actual gender through therapy and such?

Many people "identify as transgender" and then totally change their minds.

Oh and how does your life long condition thinking reconcile with the growing number of detransitioners who realise after irreversable hormone therapy and often surgery that they are not in fact any happier and have made a mistake.

And that my friend could easily be counselled into being happy with their biological gender

Not easily. Counselling isnt easy. It’s dealing with some pretty heavy stuff so of course it won’t be easy.

Oh and finally many people claim to be transgender without having dysphoria at all. Some take hormones or have surgery (generally non genital) where others simply cross dress, or indeed do nothing other than assert their trans identity. It's a very broad categorisation (see Stonewall for their definition).

curry just what i was thinking..
Unfortunately I think op is a shit writer or a GF

Isn't non-invasive treatment at least worth a try?

Most illnesses (physical or mental) have a heirarchy of increasingly drastic treatments available to try in turn.

Hormone therapies, castration etc are hardly suitable as first resort treatment for anything , are they? They are such serious, irreversible interventions and there are ethical concerns about securing consent from delusional, deeply depressed patients.

I always thought of being transgender as:

Chemical imbalance in brain- person identifies as other genders- feels extremely distressed- then feels suicidal and depressed from the distress arising from the condition- resulting in treatment, i.e., transitioning.

I always thought of it as transitioning into what gender their brain felt like. So a trans woman is a woman, feels like a woman, her body just not match up. So the hormone therapy then changes her appearance to match the gender she 'feels' to make life as comfortable as possible without actually changing DNA material (as obviously you cannot)

I always thought of it as transitioning into what gender their brain felt like. So a trans woman is a woman, feels like a woman, her body just not match up. So the hormone therapy then changes her appearance to match the gender she 'feels' to make life as comfortable as possible without actually changing DNA material (as obviously you cannot)

Which is probably a reasonable and humane, last resort approach when someone has an intractable mental illness concerning their sex.

But it shouldn't be a first or even second resort.

Chemical imbalance in brain.....

You think men and women have chemically different brains?

I always thought of it as transitioning into what gender their brain felt like. So a trans woman is a woman, feels like a woman, her body just not match up. So the hormone therapy then changes her appearance to match the gender she 'feels' to make life as comfortable as possible without actually changing DNA material (as obviously you cannot)

How do people know what gender their brain feels like? How does a man know what a womens brain would feel like? He can't can he? He has the idea that he should have been a woman, but that is not the same thing.
Most trans people don't transition at all. A trans woman is not and never will be a woman.

I personally have no time for the Trans Rights Movement. I think it's gone too far. But it often reminds me, indeed it echoes many of the arguments historically circulated regarding homosexuality. This is really the final frontier.

I know many people disagree. That's what I put this in AIBU. I want the different opinions

Like I said I've only ever been exposed to my transgender friends who are very big on transgender rights, being allowed to identify as the gender they feel like in all walks of life, etc...

So no I've never read studies about the number of people who decided they are happy as they are or change their minds

I've only ever been exposed to people who be horrified if I even said I thought being trans could be cured, etc... let alone repeated some of the stuff on this thread

Again, hence why I asked.

Your mutual friend is right - your suicidal friend needs help.

Your friend is very unhappy, and is looking for a way end his distress. He believes that "transition[ing] into presenting as female" will stop his distress.

Do you think it will end his distress? Or will it just give him a reason for his distress ('people are being horrible transphobes to me') so that he can avoid addressing the reasons for his distress?

You obviously want to support your friend. But what is the best support you can give him? Do you genuinely believe he has gender dysphoria? Or, as a suicidal early 20s man, do you think he could just be desperately searching for an answer to his troubles and this particular 'answer' is currently being pushed?

Honestly, I think you should be more concerned about your suicidal friend than about whether it's OK to say 'mental illness'. Look to your priorities. His welfare is a damned sight more important than words.

Support your friend. Talk to him. LISTEN to him. Ask him to explain to you why he believes he is transgender. I'd hazard a guess that his thoughts are whirling round in his head, and explaining his feelings to you, finding the words to express them verbally, will help him greatly.

I have been supporting my friend who is struggling to find help, I talk to him a lot. He says he has felt like this since he was 15, so almost a decade. I'm not sure why he suddenly came out with it now

I've suggested talking with someone for 'clarification' and even that got greeted with my friend saying he knows he is supposed to be female, nothing will change that

I can be supportive, no problem, but I'm worried about my friends who won't take him seriously

I'm the only one who he thinks 'understands' (aside from other transgender people) and to be blunt the only one who won't take the piss

The other trans people I know are not as close to him and he won't confide in them as much. This is also largely as they are female to male, not male to female as my friend is

Sorry that your friend is struggling to find help. That is sadly becoming more common and we have the trans rights activists to thank for that.

So a trans woman is a woman, feels like a woman

Transwomen will never be women.

What does being a woman feel like anyway? Because every description I've heard from a transwoman has been along the lines of wearing dresses and make up and other superficial but stereotypically female things.

Also will say those of you who are unbelieving at my (former?) views- I have already said most people I know are very "pro-trans" for a lack of a better term. So my exposure to this subject is about as one sided as you can get

Is Jan Morris mentally ill?