To really, really, really dislike having to buy presents for people.

[MaidenMotherCrone]

Not just at Christmas but birthdays, anniversaries etc. I do buy them but get I'd rather not have to bother. I dislike receiving presents too. I've done the 'let's not do presents this year' to be met with 'oh we have to do presents, just a little thing yes?'

Noooooooo!

I fully accept I probably ABU and a massive misery but it's the whole expectation thing.

I agree withlidoshuffle. i'm not against presents per se, but the enforced buying of them because it's a 'special' time of the year. I'd much prefer to give my sister a new pair of slippers on 3rd May (random date - not special in any way) because I noticed hers were getting a bit raggedy than to give her a new pair of slippers on 25th Dec because I had to buy something. Unfortunately, I don't come across many people in real life who agree with my spontaneous gift buying philosophy so I've just opted out of it completely as much as possible.

and I HATE more than anything the MIL buying me decorative tat that i then have to display in my home just because she feels that she ought to. just don't bloody bother, Windy! i don't care!!!!

she's just bought me an item which is the type of thing you have to display in your home permanently. an installed item. and it is fucking HIDEOUS. she got it from the grandma section of the local garden section because she fucking hates me and she's a cunning shark about showing it that's the ONLY possible explanation. twat. *

names changed to protect Windy

I'm meh about presents too.

I end up with a bunch of tat I don't want or can't eat, and I'm sure those to whom I gift things could probably say the same!

And worse - if you don't have the money - it is awful, just awful. Looking at yet another smellies set and thinking that if you could get a refund on it you could put the money towards new school shoes in January - but you can't because there are no refunds on toiletries and you don't have a receipt and pride and same and a need to be socially appropriate means that you can't.

I’m with you on this one.. whilst I like buying thoughtful (I think) gifts for each individual recipient and often for Xmas and birthdays I get things I would never buy myself I do think sometimes it’s got out of hand. I’ve had to scale my husband right down, the gifts were beautiful but outrageous really in the beginning of our relationship. I would much rather donate or spend that money on our retirement, paying off the mortgage etc. The expectation and angst around gift buying and receiving is so riddled with angst. I probably think like this as my Mother buys totally inappropriate gifts, always received with a massive feeling of not being worthy or loved. It’s not about the value but the appropriateness to her recipient the daughter. She worries more about ‘what other people think’ and would spend time buying a virtual stranger a gift that made her look good than spend any kind of effort on nearest and dearest.. I think for this reason a lot of the joy has gone in gift giving and receiving, i would much rather the company of people who truly loved and cared for me. Gosh! Sorry, that was a massive projection..

I actually like buying gifts for friends and family and seeing their faces light up

Do you realise how difficult it is to do the 'lit up face' thing?

Do you have DC? Do you hate buying their birthday presents?

I bloody love buying people presents I wish I had more money so I could buy my loved ones even better presents.

I think YAB totally U! I love Christmas and spend a lot of time thinking about what to get family. We don't go overboard (£20ish per person) but I really enjoy shopping around this time of year looking for things people might like. I have to say I like receiving presents too and rarely get anything I don't like or won't use at some point.

I like buying gifts but I do stress about wether I have bought the rights thing, will it get used or chucked in the back of a cupboard?

I like receiving too but would rather someone asked me what I would like first as it feels a waste getting something I’m not going to use.

I don’t buy for many adults, just my parents, grandparents and my best friend, the rest is kids which is much easier.

YANBU, I hate it too, DH and I never bother to exchange gifts, it all seems such a farce, Adult DS gets some stuff he wants in the sales and we pay for it and thats his present done.

I do bananas .

Surprise flowers or lunches or doing something nice for someone whenever and wherever - all wonderful

and while were at it, I hate Christmas cards also

Just tell your friends and family you hate buying and receiving presents and usually dislike their gifts... I’m sure they’ll be happy to stop spending money on you once they know you hate it so much . Win win.

It depends on the recipients. I don't want gifts because I my husband have too much stuff. There's no space left.

I always get stuff for my siblings' children. Even that is getting harder as some get older.

Adults in my family do a secret Santa so in theory we only have to buy one. In reality I have to buy everyone's gift and get given the money back which really annoys me.

I love wrapping presents though. Put up with the rest of it just so I get to do that.

I started my own thread about a similar issue last night.

This year, more than any other I've been knocked sideways by the sheer avarice of it all. The range of stuff you can buy these days is astounding. Everywhere I go, People are buying buying buying.

Christmas Day morning I'll have to sit through hours of opening present after present after present, under careful scrutiny for my reaction and by Boxing Day there'll be a massive fall out because the event hasn't lived upto the gift givers expectations. I've gently pleaded with her not to but it's a compulsion.

It's fucking exhausting.

I’m not bothered about getting presents, I have everything I need/want. If someone gave me thoughtful gifts which showed they new me and had made a bit of an effort I’d love it. But no one does. Unlike me who listens to people gruout the year, make observations and give people things that are thoughtful. Because I enjoy it and I want them to know I love them and they are appreciated.

What baffles me is those people open my gifts say ‘wow, that’s so clever/thoughtful etc’ then sheepishly hand me £20 and say ‘oh I never know what to buy you’. Which is a crock of absolute shit because I have loads of interests.

Dh has already got in early with ‘I never get anything right so buy what you want then give it to me to wrap and give to you’ and my mum has said ‘I’m just giving you cash’. So that means not one present for me this year. Harrumph

I have some really thoughtful things for dh too.

Yes, because I find it really hard to think of good presents for people. I want to buy presents, but I hate it because I can't think of anything they'd like so I just buy something generic like chocolates or wine and feel terrible about it.

could you make something, those that hate choosing? With my friends we switched to this a few years ago and the gift of time, rather than money, is so much more valuable to me.

We've packed it in completely, never did cards anyway

a couple of people were not happy but hey ho.

I do like to resist the pressure to buy for no reason. I always say, if you're religious Christmas is not about gifts. If you're not religious - then what is it for?! I guess in 19th & 20th century it was the only time people got a guaranteed day off (if not working in essential services) but times have changed, yet Christmas seems to last longer and longer and get more consumerist every year.

Quite tempted to start sending Beltane cards out every year to mark summer and confuse the heck out of everyone.

i've stopped buying presents as much as possible
now it's theatre tickets mostly...
for the nieces & nephews something small & random to attach £10 to. they seem happy.

I would much rather get together with friends and family for food drinks and laughter.

Mount "This year, more than any other I've been knocked sideways by the sheer avarice of it all. The range of stuff you can buy these days is astounding. Everywhere I go, People are buying buying buying."

yes. This year I really feel like moving to a farm and being self sufficient. I am not sure if I will still feel like this in spring...probably.

we are also possibly going to need to move on account of a new shopping centre that's in the pipeline (compulsory purchase orders seem a possiblility). It seems like no matter how much stuff is on sale, people want more and more and more. And Xmas encapsulates that so I loathe it more each year.

We don’t buy for children either. They all have far too much and it’s not good to start them on the “more more more” track. We buy them an ice cream when we see them instead.

Yes I'm with you on this OP. I have no need of more stuff (I am still trying to get rid of things after moving to a smaller house) and have no imagination when buying stuff for other people. I'm divorced with teenage children and no other family so don't expect to get anything this year (not a bad thing); the DC would buy me something if I prodded them to, but I honestly can't see the point.

This year for the first time none of them want anything either - I have asked but the response has been "just give me money mum, I don't really want anything".