To really, really, really dislike having to buy presents for people.

[MaidenMotherCrone]

Not just at Christmas but birthdays, anniversaries etc. I do buy them but get I'd rather not have to bother. I dislike receiving presents too. I've done the 'let's not do presents this year' to be met with 'oh we have to do presents, just a little thing yes?'

Noooooooo!

I fully accept I probably ABU and a massive misery but it's the whole expectation thing.

Not smug at all. I found the ‘I want time, not presents’ pretty patronising. As though all of us who enjoy gift giving are just materialistic and don’t care about spending time with our families.
FWIW my brother died at 27 and my IL’s live abroad. My parents are nearby, we don’t have any other family. However enjoying buying gifts for the family I have doesn’t prevent me from spending time with people I care about.

I just think this no stuff for adults is a bit sad for those without children. We were last to have children in my DH's family. For years we had loads to buy and received much less in return. We weren't always that well off either. Then there were announcements from some of them of only buying for children. Not my most charitable moan but it did seem a bit one sided. We never said anything though.

I really like buying for my own DC
I like buying stuff for other dc- nephews/niece/friends DC until they're about 10-12 then they want cash and it's just boring and silly.
Presents for adults are just daft as we can buy whatever we want. We only buy for DPS and 3 elderly relatives now and stick to token edibles.

So glad it’s not just me. I have been accused of not liking Christmas which is absolutely not true. I love everything about Christmas except this present buying charade. I hate the endless conversations with family about who’s buying what for whom. DHs family send me a link to what they want on Amazon, where’s the joy in that! The best present anyone could ever give me is to say let’s not do presents.

I just think this no stuff for adults is a bit sad for those without children

I would find it sad too, because bar my own I have absolutely no other children to buy for. My brother died young and DH is an only child. So it would take away my ability to buy presents for anyone. I would be happy to not receive any presents and for my children to get them instead, but I also like to buy presents.

I never agree budgets either. People get surprises. With gift receipts if we can. They are welcome to take whatever back if it is not suitable. We are never offended. Even children we tell them Santa lets them exchange because we requested the present from him for them.

I'm a big fan of home-made and luckily I have friends who are the same. The only presents I get are the ones my dogs and cats buy me (normally knitting or crochet-related), small token ones from our team at work, or a craft group swap. The only ones I buy are likewise - treats and toys for the dogs and cats. I've had the most beautiful pair of colourwork gloves made for me as well as a similar tea cosy, both made easier by looking up my queue/wishlist on Ravelry.

I just hope that my friends like the lace shawls that they're getting but I've always seen them wearing my knits before (and when not expecting to see me).

My dad used to go down an easy route by buying Mum and I jewellery; "well, you can always sell it if necessary".

Ecureuil, oh we were expected to buy for the children whilst receiving nothing. Well by MiL, at least. We did to keep the peace but thought it a bit crap,

I said I wanted Time not stuff - and it was not meant to suggest that other people don't spend time with their families - not at all.

What I meant was that I have ended up spending most of December so stressed, queueing for carparks and tills, agonising over whether she would like red or blue, this one or that one, hours on Christmas eve at four in the morning wrapping stuff - so tired, trips to the parcel depot to collect undelivered parcels - my time taken away from my friends and families.

"In return" I get presents that they have given me that I don't want and that they have had to spend time choosing when I know how busy they are with their own jobs and families.

Sorry - that's what I meant. No criticism of you or others who do buy.

I do mine online. Very easy.

I love buying presents. I couldn’t stand to be one of those families that only buys for children, I think it’s a ridiculous notion and quite parent-centric and entitled. Actually there are no children in my family so maybe that’s why.

"I think you get to an age(mid 40s) where you've bought the same people presents twice a year for 20 years or so and you just can't think of anything original."

YYY, this is it exactly for me. Add in the fact that pil happily complain loud and long if they disapprove of what we've got (my fault obvs, nothing to do with dh) and it has become such a chore

I’m mid 40’s and I think that’s piffle.

I love giving and receiving presents, mostly from dh, or really close people, but if I was told that you don't do presents and that you would rather not receive, I would totally respect that.

We try really hard not to exchange gifts with friends, for ourselves or DC. It’s a social minefield and hard to get anything even vaguely nice without spending loads of time and/or money.

In the family, apart from “host” gifts of wine/chocs/flowers we only buy for DC, and also for adults with no DC, incl the GPs.

Yes hate it too! Relieved now kids at an age when they just want money!

@Folder, well said there.

Doesn't have to be original for me. I love good quality organic hand cream, books, book vouchers, department store vouchers, Amazon vouchers, jewellery, classic clothes, pjs, slippers, wash bags, scarves, hats, food presents, perfume. Easy.

I even love old fashioned soap. Not expensive either.

Online is not that easy IME: still hard to think of things and choose, delivery charges can be pricey and there are often hassle with deliveries.

I agree with mount, upthread. The piles of stuff in shops this year seem higher than ever.

Mil spends all year shopping for "the sack" that we all receive. It makes me feel sick. So much stuff we don't need and we've asked her so many times to stop and spend it on herself. I think it's compulsive behaviour for her.

One year we met her in a city midway between where we live for a shopping and lunch trip and she brought along a massive wheeled suitcase full of stuff for us. We were not popular dragging that round all day.

Almost all those things are costly, magpie. Vouchers is just cash though isn’t it, and it feels weird to give cash to friends and family.

Many people dislike receiving toiletries, however posh.

I'm in a lot. Our neighbours take parcels. We take parcels for them. Depo is not far. I like being able to do the searches for things. Better than wandering around aimlessly. Found some brilliant stuff from the sofa. Can do in any spare 5 or 10 minutes. Can even get gift wrapped and delivered to recipient. Prices are very good. Plenty on sale.

Yanbu I get my 3 nieces and nephews (all under 8yrs) a selection box each and send my parents a card. That's it. I don't like the thought of cluttering up other people's houses with stuff they most likely wouldn't want so I'll bake/cook/clean or spend time with loved ones instead. DH and I buy our 'gifts' together throughout the year but not because an arbitrary date on the calendar tells us so.

I find it immensely stressfull. So many people to buy for and we don’t have much money spare. Trying to make it ‘fair’ between dc but not be ridiculous (I’m not going to buy a new bike when they can have their older siblings good one). But then it is fair that the oldest gets a bike? I do not want tat. I’d like a book and some Cadbury’s. But it’s just the expectations. I keep some ‘spare’ chocolates, generic female tat & child tat in a cupboard for the people I am surprised by who give me a present. If I had more money I it wouldn’t stress me so much but it’s trying to buy things people like on a budget. So I put it off and then end up doing an amazon order in a week or so and it’s all a bit desperate.