To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

My most annoying thing is actions in soapland being reported in newspapers and women's magazines as though they were real. Newspaper sidebars like 'Darren killed for what he knew...' (just for eg, I don't know any real storylines) and it's not NEWS it's a bloody soap! And there are entire magazines devoted to soap plotlines! Why no magazines devoted to plotlines from novels? Makes just as much sense..'Will Cathy see through Heathcliffe?'

How easy they get jobs and how easy they get somewhere to live

When they leave “for good” with just once suitcase.

The amount of people they can cram into one house. Remember the slaters ? They were all living there at one point - 8 of them wasn’t it ?

That they can sneak people in and out of houses for sex and no one notices. I hear my neighbors come home from work let alone someone coming through my own front door.

Never actually eating their food!

Gary Windass.
Faye Windass
Anna Windass.
Gemma from Coronation Street bellowing like a stuck bull because she’s poor, and poor people do that.

The fact that you can never do anything bad and get away with it!

Legal stuff - one character decides to buy the other's house/pub/shop. Next day the buyer is in said house/pub/shop as if its theirs already. Paperwork takes ages to organise irl!

Supposed secrecy - One character takes another aside to another part of a tiny house and the other people in the house are not supposed to be able to hear their conversation!

Baddies are always in the right place at the right time.

When they're all sat in the pub, who is looking after the kids?

The limited range of facial expressions and the clearly fake local accents, as if there are no possible actors with the authentic accent.

The fact that they have babies and young children but still manage such a social life; coffees at lunch time and drinks down the pub that night.

Affairs that are Christmas bust up storyline but all is forgotten about in a few weeks.

How they all fit in 3 bed Semi's, e.g. the Platt's. wasn't there Gail, Sarah & Bethany, Sarah's baby, David, Kylie, Max and Lily living all living there at one point?

how they have shit loads of cash in their purse/wallet

How cups of tea are obviously empty

How.it takes 1 second to dial someone on their phone and then the person answers in 0.5 seconds

“Pint of non-specific”

Every meal in the cafe, or even buying a coffee to take to work from the cafe when your house is across the street/square.

Suddenly going on a holiday to say Crete (and clubbing at that) in the middle of February (never in a million years).

There was a newborn prem baby on Doctors yesterday, 10 days old, four top teeth and at least 7 months old!!

and. How the pictures in heir house are always of a mug shit of one person.

There are never any pictures of say a family sat round a table having a meal

The first sign of being pregnant is always dramatic morning sickness.

Getting pregnant after only one shag.

omg mug SHOT

The fact that EVERYTHING, absolutely EVERYTHING has to be debated, deceminated, argued and analysed. Whatever happened to letting things pass, ignoring things and people, letting things slide and turning the other cheek.

I swear this is my belief, Eastenders is responsible for the demise of society in the uk today. And have you ever noticed that people who act in these dreary soaps, like Lacey (think that's her name) go on to develop the droopy downturned mouths and faces in real life? You can play a negative character for suck a long period without it spilling over into RL.

How anyone on eastenders can afford to live in those houses. I saw an article that said if they were real, they’d cost over a million to buy.

Also, no one in eastenders works anywhere else in London, that massive city of jobs.

Always loads of people living in one house.

Yesterday the baby in Corrie was meant to be sick and fitting.

He had a lovely little grin on his face and looked happy as Larry!

No one seems to have heard of benefits. Kat and Alfie spring to mind when they had financial difficulties.

Loving these Keep them coming!

Doctors (yes, you, Karl from Neighbours) who treat absolutely everyone and everything.

People leaving their passwordless laptops open on the last site they were on like iwanttohaveanaffair.com

Yes to the lack of benefits. Especially if to make ends meet they turn to prostitution or drug dealing. Surely you would do that as a very very very last resort!

When someone proposes it generally means they are seconds away from an untimely and quite unexpected death!

Bringing people back from the dead has to be the worst thing that ever happened on soap. I blame the Americans.

Getting pregnant after only one shag

And miscarrying after some dramatic event like a fall. No one just loses a baby it’s always because something has caused it.

When someone proposes it generally means they are seconds away from an untimely and quite unexpected death

Lol! And when someone says "this is going to be the best Christmas ever" it means it is going to be one of their worst Christmases ever. Someone will die in the dark and alone interspersed with scenes of people partying at the pub. 50 percent chance the episode will end with that song "let the bells ring out for Christmas.." just as the person dies.