To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

When they move house (always under dramatic circumstances) they have the place completely redecorated down to new kitchens within 1 episode.

Whenever they are in ITU ventilated there's never a nurse in there with them as there should be.

My particular favourite was when one soap character 'woke up' and his heart rate stayed a steady 65bpm throughout.

A complete & utter personality change, for no good reason except to facilitate someone’s leaving storyline, the stupidity of some plots especially the gangster/murder type, coronation street has become ridiculous lately, especially as you can catch up with classic Corrie at the moment & see the quality of such character driven writing, the humour & pathos, I gave up watching a few months ago as I couldn’t watch it without getting cross.

Feuding families, sworn enemies, rival gangsters etc just happen to have each other's mobile numbers stored in their phones.

Like when they first meet, right off the bat before they start their turf wars they do a little 'I'll ring you then you save my number...have you got it? Great.' ritual.

I don’t watch soaps anymore but I used to think it was ridiculous when children aged about three years in a week, one week someone would have a baby then a few weeks later it was a toddler and within a year off to school.

My biggest bugbear is when they do an emotive or sensitive storyline really well and then trash it with a ridiculous follow up. The cot death storyline in Emmerdale was done really well, right up until the accidentally swapped babies bit came in. As if cot death somehow wasn't dramatic enough on its own.

Also the plethora of available childcare which means anyone can do anything anytime without having to even think about childcare.

It's usually just the blokes but when someone is in the pub and suddenly decides that it's time to go they always leave a couple of inches if not more in their glass.
Neither me nor DH have ever left any amount in our lives.

My particular favourite was when one soap character 'woke up' and his heart rate stayed a steady 65bpm throughout. grin

And they wake right up fit as fiddles. Last month, my otherwise healthy 50-year-old BIL went into cardiac arrest 3 times. It took days and days to get him off the vent. He had to have a defib/pacemaker fitted and then just getting up out of bed, his heart rate went erratic again, so two more days in hospital getting it sorted. He's just now able to walk without a frame. He's got broken ribs from the paddles they had to use in A&E, terrible muscle atrophy. All sorts.

That Mel & Sophie died

All their tea and coffee cups are empty.

They never watch TV.

They have disappearing kids who never seem to affect their daily/nightly lives.

Whenever they are in ITU ventilated there's never a nurse in there with them as there should be.

And any old random can just stroll into their (private) room to do something dastardly. When we visited my MIL in hospital we had to be buzzed and and then check in at reception, and that was just a regular ward

And any old random can just stroll into their (private) room to do something dastardly

I also find the amount of adults and non pupils strolling casually around schools odd, although I don't know if this is normal or not.

When the opening credits of Emmerdale role

How EVERYONE in Eastenders,Corrie and Emmerdale works locally,i.e. just a short walk away. No one ever has to catch a bus or train to work in the local town or city.

going instantly into full blown labour not even a twinge beforehand preferably after a dramatic fall

The characters who have a baby are NEVER with them, they are always out and about or at the pub ect with no explanation as to where their kids are.

The characters who have a baby are NEVER with them, they are always out and about or at the pub ect with no explanation as to where their kids are.

They’re always so careless with their relatives- long-lost sons/mothers/grandchildren/cousinsetc etc, who then pop up expectedly and cause havoc.
And they always move away in a taxi, at night.

Another vote for the cups being empty. They get a take out coffee and you can hear when they put it down that there is nothing in it.

The fact that none ever just minds their own business - although of course if they did there would be no plots.

And as for not watching tv - does anyone else remember the Magic Bunnies in Brookside?

When people have Christmas dinner with virtual strangers and/or people who a few weeks previous were their mortal enemies. Everyone in each other's pockets even though they are only acquaintances; friendships formed too easily; people on the bones of their arse having breakfast in the cafe every morning (though they never actually eat); people being at home during the middle of the day when they have jobs...the list goes on!

They way things are forgotten about so quickly.

Like Michelle in Corrie's baby being mixed up at birth and turning up as a teen. It was never mentioned again

People have 'secret' conversations in the same (empty) room as the person they are talking about, but they never hear them.

They eat breakfast, then just get up to go school/work without brushing their teeth, or nipping to the loo first.

Need an organ? A long lost family member will be found and be able to donate immediately. The receipient will then recover in a week and never mention it again!