To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

I'm also stupidly irritated by the sad look back when they leave in the taxi for good

Because no parent or partner or friend will ever give them a lift and see them off at the train or airport

But everyone knows what time your taxi is to come out on the streets and wave you off or realise you are leaving not just popping out somewhere in a cab

Everyone has each others mobile numbers when it just doesn't make sense as to why they would have them. They also always put their names on the end of a text.

I find the number of times they are shown each week the most annoying, as I have no wish to watch them. I think if each was no more than twice a week, more of the actors and actresses would stay in them for a long time, more realistic of real life as people do not move that often, certainly if they get to be homeowners.

I remember seeing a birth on an Australian soap once of course it was dramatic and in the middle of the out back of course the local Dr was passing unfortunately they forgot to remove her tights (which were obvious) my mom said the baby would be trampolining but no a perfect clean baby no shmut delivered on a riverbank the only thing missing was the wildlife for dramatic effect

@abbsisspartacus I remember that, wasn't it Daphne from Neighbours? 😂

I like the way everyone can just walk into the doctors surgery and get an immediate appointment. Hospital treatment is immediate, no hanging around a&e for 6 hours to be seen. Operations are never cancelled and everyone is in a private room. I wish I could be treated in soapland hospitals! The service is so wonderful it must explain why people recover so quickly from head injuries, strokes or severe mental health problems.

My main bugbear is when someone is about to uproot and move miles and miles away and they leave with a holdall- where is the removal van and the boxes and bin bags of stuff and why aren't they faffing about doing last meter readings and getting deposits back?
When DD1 used to be particularly annoying in her early teens I'd say "when are you going to go up to your room to listen to music and come back down in 2 years a totally different person like they do in soaps?"

Never taking their shoes off even in winter. Shoes on the sofa!

Yes and where is all Norris and Emily's stuff at Mary's and Angie has no right to change the locks. It isn't her house.

I wouldn’t say hated but slightly strange. I’m a Corrie fan and Norris has just disappeared. He will no doubt stroll back into the Cabin at some point and greet Rita as though he’d just popped to Freshco’s for a pint of milk with no explanation of where he’s been for months. This happens from time to time and is just odd.

Sorry if it's been said and it likely has as I haven't RTFT but my annoyance is living in the same street or even next door or frequenting the same places...As the character that has raped/killed/traumatised you.

My favourite was in Family Affairs when Pete Callan - rapist, wife-beater and conman - sold The Lock bar and bought a pub instead. Did everyone say ‘Hurray, now we can drink in The Lock and never have to see Pete again!’? Did they buggery. They all started drinking in his new pub instead, never setting foot in The Lock again.

Similarly, if you severely wrong the landlord or landlady of your local pub, you will be barred for the grand total of one episode, before going back for said landlord/lady to sneer at you briefly before saying “You serve ‘im, ‘is money’s as good as anyone else’s” to a nervous looking barmaid.

East Enders... nobody has a washing machine and use the laundrette

Although possibly the least realistic story ever was Denise Fox in EE and her one GCSE. She took one GCSE at the community centre (as you do) and it totally took over her life, to the point she gave up her baby for adoption to continue doing it. She applied for a job and was shocked to be turned down due to lack of qualifications - before being told ‘Of course, it’ll be different once you get your GCSE’. As if one GCSE turns a 40-something woman who’s spent her life on minimum wage into Deborah sodding Meaden.

Meanwhile, she descends into poverty, eating from bins and fainting from lack of food. She then gets a new job as a PA with the council (again, thanks to the magic single GCSE) and within a week - at which point she wouldn’t even have been paid - is sitting in The Vic in a new top with freshly done hair. Not so much as a word of ‘Ooh, things are a bit tight this month - by the way, has anyone read Jane Eyre?’ since.

I hate how there is no such thing as a lesbian in soap land. So called lesbians always end up sleeping with a man. This rule does not apply to gay male characters. In real life plenty of lesbians never have sex with a man or even a snog.

I don't think Sophie in Corrie has ever kissed a man, not since she 'came out' as gay, that's pretty realistic, I think. I don't think Kate has either tbf; she's only considering it now because she's desperate for a baby, and she's in a bad way because of her brother's suicide.

Tina in EastEnders is annoying in that way, though, she seems to sleep with both men and women, and Sonya too.

I don't know how many women in RL are actually bi, so I can't really say how realistic it is that there are so many in Soapland. (We now have Charity and Vanessa in Emmerdale.)

Coronation Street can support a pub and a fancy bistro, if it's still there. everyone is able to take on any job with no training or skill and be successful.

The fact no one seems to have their own washing machine.

The fact no one seems to leave their road to even go shopping, they even get their clothes from the market

The fact 10 people live in 2 bed terraces. I know it's probably a set issue, but there's no way they'd all fit in that house.

No one has friends outside their neighbourhood. I don't even know my neighbours

No one works outside their street

Women seem to get pregnant immediately the first time they've ever had sex/ had a one night stand / had an affair

The number of unnatural deaths in such a small area

Every wedding brings a big drama

Maria had a relationship with Marcus the Midwife who was in love with Todd and Sean.

In Eastenders the drama if someone from the famaleee is moving to another bit of London. Although in fairness no one will see them for years, so it might as well be the moon.

Maria had a relationship with Marcus the Midwife who was in love with Todd and Sean.

And Ste in Hollyoaks had children by two different women. Todd of Corrie fathered a child before he came out. Bradley in Crossroads cheated on his boyfriend with a woman. Not sure where you’re getting the idea that this doesn’t happen with gay men.

I was wrong, it hasn't happened in the soaps I watch, but accept it does in others.

I get the rage at everyone's perfect hairdo's bar perhaps Bernie's mum. They've all had time to style it, curl it and also do neat makeup

Nobody has a terrible hair day or no make up

They wake up with beautifully styled hair

Even in the depths of depression it's not greasy and pulled back but bouncy and perfect

I get irritated when people moan about being skint. If they posted on Mn I would say, stop going to the cafe every 5 minutes for a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich, in spite of the cafe being 2 minutes from where you live. And spending nearly every single night in the pub and some lunchtimes too must be costing you a bit as well. In real life, skint people would never do this.

In Holby , turn the bloody lights on

And no medical staff wear any sleeves below the elbow and while we are at it someone lock the door to the roof !

Yes their front door is so close