To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

They never seem to do any work at work.

Someone is always hiding behind a door or listening. Equally annoying is when someone is having a private conversation and someone is a few inches away from them and can obviously hear everything but on screen it's made out they can't hear.

Emma was going to say the same thing, the residents of Albert Square could have put down a deposit on a new home for the amount that they must have spent in the launderette!

There always seems to be a new curry house ‘down the high street’ that’s worth trying

Has anyone mentioned amnesia? I hate that.

And how no one farts or constantly rearranges their privates in the pub.

Incredibly poor depictions of police investigation procedures. I stopped watching Corrie after Sunita was sent down for bogus marriages that Dev's ex had set her up for. A quick fingerprint exam of the pre marriage documentation - pages and pages - and marriage certificates would have exonerated her.

And piss poor examples of benefit fraud investigations. They always get it wrong.

"Incredibly poor depictions of police investigation procedures."
"And piss poor examples of benefit fraud investigations."

Add SS and every other type of official investigation.

A bugbear of mine was Teagan's (Hollyoaks) ability to decide to switch off Joe's life support within hours of the accident, even though she'd been drinking all day.

Coronation Street, likewise Mary's Grandson, George, is repeatedly rushed to hospital, but simple allergy tests haven't been done.

The worst thing is that people believe that is how it works in RL.

Also, the soaps also get the law or medicine (and I'm sure many other professions) massively wrong. How hard is it for them to just speak to a real life lawyer or doctor and ask what would happen?

This really bugs me. One minute, a character is bar worker who studied law at Uni, next minute they're a solicitor with their own practice! Duh - No - what about the years of supervised experience they'd need or the professional qualifications before they'd get a practising certificate?

David in Cold Feet is another "professional" fail. He started as a management accountant, then morphed into a banker, then morphed into an independent financial advisor. That's 3 completely different professions that each need completely separate professional qualifications, professional body membership, different regulators, etc.

Buses fall on top of people and there's not so much as a bruise on them.

Having miscarriages after falling downstairs. Miscarriages are common but I've never heard of a single one happening in real life like this.

People recovering from never-walk- again paralysis and coming out of comas worth ease and no on going effects.

Everyone buying lunch in the pub/cafe when they live almost next door and are supposed to be cash strapped working class.

Wedding outfits and fancy dress are always far too expensive/ good quality for hard up characters particularly as weddings are always arranged with just weeks to go ... in made to measure bespoke gear.

A ridiculous amount of babies born on Christmas day. Always after very short "just popped out" labours in random places.

Relatives never mentioned before suddenly arrive and instantly become main characters.

Never finishing drinks in pubs - expensive!!!

Losing all their money (Max Branning, Ian beale etc) and yet rolling in it again the following year.

Coming back from the dead. I want to live in Albert square it seems the secret of eternal life!

On a.serious note, though talking about coming back from the dead, and miss my mum and dad as I do. If it did transpire that they'd faked their own death. I don't think I'd want to see them again. Not because of the betrayal side, but it's the fact that I'd have to go all through the heart break grief process again. I'd have to mum/dad you're still going to have to be dead.to me, because I cannot.go through that heartache again of losing.you again.

How they don't just tell someone they have done something, and it becomes this massive secret and they are blackmailed over it, hands up anyone on here how has EVER been blackmailed.

Characters who are supposedly skint can always find the money for a pint in the Vic/Rovers/Woolpack.

Characters whose partners die are mostly over it and in a happy new relationship not long after the funeral of their previous partner.

@mummmy2017

🖑

By an 8 year old con artist who shall not be named😬

They always cover up accidental deaths, thinking they're going to be charged with murder. Ditto when they're very obviously acting in self defence, say hit someone over the head and they die. Apparently it's much easier to dispose of a dead body than just go to the police and explain. Then when the body is inevitably discovered they're charged and remanded in custody. Justice eventually prevails - of couse.

Probably already mentioned but...
Always, always, always, a pregnancy test kit must be disposed of in the most obvious bin possible, in order that another person can find it. And they have no qualms about picking it up...
If needing to make a top secret phone call, never check around you that you cannot be overheard. Always stand somewhere that someone else can easily stand behind you and listen to every word.

To give credit where it's düe. Anna was fantastic in corrie the other night. She played the part of grieving distraught mum very well.

You only see ever adults on those swings in EE. I've never once seen any one under 18 on them.

Single mums prostituting themselves because they haven’t got a job. Umm ... just go on benefits you weirdos! (Sinead in Hollyoaks, that storyline wound me right up! Like how is that a better option?)

Those of us from the EE threads will be familiar with the "kiddie cupboard"

When they get married they don't spend months planning a wedding, they just get engaged in some dramatic way, then have a full on suddenly have a massive wedding a few months later that requires no preparation or planning and no one mentions it's going to happen until the week before. Also very important family members who have been written out don't turn up at Weddings or Funerals. It's amazing how many parents miss their own child funeral due to last minute flight problems or food poisoning.

After 20+ years of being together couples still smooch in public and in front of their children. IRL you just wouldn't embarrass your children like that
Looking at you Mick and Linda Carter.
I mean yes they're very much in love and seem to have a great sex life and still have the spark, which is fantastic, but ffs. They're not a couple of 18 year olds.

That anyone even moves into a street where there have been 10 murders in as many years!

Doctors with long, loose, perfectly straightened hair and immaculate makeup. Um, no.

Incest. They're all at it with their cousins/uncles/long lost half sister.

How readily the characters forgive each other. Yes, your new boyfriend did murder your mother, but that was only one time, 2 years ago!!

The kids' only friends live within a 2 minutes walk, despite going to school so presumably mixing with children from the wider area.

Episodes where Nothing Happens! Such a waste of half an hour of your life.

Spoilers on the front covers of mags. If you know X is going to be murdered by Y the day Z finds out she's pregnant, why bother to go through with actually watching the show?

People rarely pair off with someone from outside the village/street/square. It is usually with best mate/sibling/colleague's partner/spouse/ex.

Kitchen cupboards are usually almost empty. Now, I don't know about you but here there's loads of old packets, tins and jars in them.

How they break up marriages just because.Why is no one ever happy.

They way people move on so quick.Steve and Michelle spring to mind here.She lost a baby,marriage broke up.2 weeks later she is with someone else.

And teh thing thats always bugged me,who in their right mind would marry Ian Beale.And in Janes case,she done it twice.

I agree with the poster who said about the storylines being reported in the press as actual news. Absolutely ridiculous.

I remember being suckered in once when the headline read something like "devastation as family broken up by incest revelation". Turned out to be a fucking storyline in a soap. Pathetic that people care that much about soaps that they consider it actual news.

In friends, phoebe introduced Ross to the bald headed girl (Bonnie???)who was probably never mentioned before or after again. None of the other friends had met her before. Despite this, phoebe knew her well enough to invite her to a weekend away with them. How does phoebe have time to make other friends when she is with the friends gang all the time?