To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

How many people in one street have been in prison.
How many kids in one street fail to attend school.
How many characters are gay in one street.
How people appear to get jobs on the street where they live.
How many people find their future partners/husbands/wives on the street they live
How many people have their teacher, doctor, lawyer and employer living in the same street
How people in one street swap partners with people on the same street

I give you Coronation Street

How many characters are gay in one street.

At the moment, five. From a cast of about 70. Not even 10%.

EE... after waiting for the best part of a year to get baby Abbie, Max and Rainie are in the pub at night about a week later. Why not stay at home and look after her?

The Slater's tardis house.

Who is babysitting all the squares kids while the parents are at the pub? I keep picturing poor old Dot with a community centre full of small children...

It was 7 until very recently. Given the number of houses featured in the street - it’s a lot. Glad they have moved away from ‘tokenism’ but it’s an unusual representation.

It was 7 until very recently. Given the number of houses featured in the street - it’s a lot. Glad they have moved away from ‘tokenism’ but it’s an unusual representation.

There were also no gay characters whatsoever for the first 43 years of the show. That was even more unrealistic.

Indeed - not realistic either. But then people don’t tune in for average/normal - even though it’s what it claims to represent

I don't actually watch soaps but Emmerdale was on when I was visiting my grandad recently and I noticed Debbie Dingle was in prison, full make up, gorgeous blow dried hair, lovely clothes - but a little blue tabard/netball vest to show that she's in prison. Not revolting tracksuits. Not a garish uniform. A cropped tabard. Fuck off, Emmerdale.

EE - They push prams around but it's obvious there's no child in. Kids that open up to total strangers rather than their mum/dad/sister who live in the same house. Tardis Houses. People who dash off on holiday in the middle of a shift at work "I'm off to Portugal now" (Kathy)

Corrie - There just so happens to be a trained nurse at your event who can tell just by looking at you that you're fine, serious injuries forgotten (Nick Tilsley's brain injury). How people forget their related to others on the street (Does Izzy ever mention Joseph? You know her sisters child who lives across the street from her you'd think Jake would want to play with his cousin occasionally)

Emmerdale - People who live in the village occupying rooms at the b+b for months at a time and never seem to pay for them, the single parent whose got a child in hospital but has another child at home but doesn't seem to worry/care how the child at home is getting to school or is being fed or cared for. Again relations being forgotten (Diane and Victoria always seem to forget their related to Jack and Sarah but gush over Seb/Gabby). Children who're allowed to live with a none parent because they want to (Cathy and Heath live with Brenda even though she isn't their mum).

In all soaps, people going away and coming back with a new actor/actress and no-one seems to ask why they've had a complete change of looks. How Christmas Decorations suddenly appear on set in December, no faffing about arguing with the kids about putting them up. How no-one has a pet and if they do the pet is really well behaved and hardly seen surely not many people can just be out all day and spend all night in the pub leaving their dog at home alone. Normalizing intimate relationships with your nephew/niece/cousin who you supposedly grew up with/helped to bring up (Moira and Pete Barton, The Dingles all seem to sleep with each other)

The policeman in Emmerdale who deals with every single crime related story line involving the remaining cast of the soap.

I stopped enjoying them when they moved up from 2 a week which meant there had to be more story lines which have become so unbelievable.Also,certainly on Corrie there used to some humour.
I no longer watch any of them and don't miss them.

I haven't watched soaps in years. I think the rot set in when Emmerdale Farm turned into Emmerdale.
Wonder would there be an audience for more realistic soaps, though?
The model of a neighbourhood is dead now, it would have to be based around a workpla ce. But a character driven drama with normal stuff happening, some funny lines, I wonder would anyone, besides me, watch it?

How easy it is to own the pub.People with no experience ( jenny) in Corrie.

Everyone having affairs,hating that person for about a week.Then they go back to being best buds.Never mentioned again.

In Home and Away no one just has fun on the beach. It might start off with a swim but before you know it there's invariably some serious shit going down: Brad tells Kelly that Tyler is shagging Sammy or Mick tells Jodie he's got 2 weeks to live (while peeling his wetsuit off after 2 hours of surfing.

I used to love Holby City but it's just about whose shagging who which at my age is utter yawndom.

Man plans to tell wife he wants a divorce (or similar bad news);
Man: ‘wife, sit down for a minute, there’s something important I must tell you, and you’re not going to like it’
Wife: ‘oh let me go first, I just wanted to tell you, husband, how very much I love you, so I have booked plane tickets to Vegas so we can renew our vows!’
Man: ........
Woman: what did you want to tell me?
Man: oh nothing, doesn’t matter
Woman: OK I’m off to pack!

Also the speed and drama of any birth, no long latent phase for any soap characters. Also the amount of screaming when anyone gives birth. Never a mention of breastfeeding. Or in fact, the fact that having a baby completely changes your life and the way you live it.

No one ever needs to be induced or to have an elective c section. In fact no one is ever in labour for about more than an hour! It’s always ‘oh my waters have broken’ and then they’re pushing out a baby in a lay-by/park/pub toilet 5 minutes later!

If they don’t drink alcohol then in the pub they drink orange juice. Never lemonade, apple juice etc always orange

All your neighbours come to your wedding, even the one who had you shot last year, but you don't invite any family unless they live on the street, road, or square.

Everyone sits at the table for breakfast and only the most slovenly have a milk bottle not a jug or milk.

CHildren brought up in the same household and who have never lived elsewhere speak with different accents.

Everyone lives 100m from where they work and socialise.

No one goes on holiday unless it is part of the plot, n which case 15 people who normally hate each other go to Spain together.

East Enders... nobody has a washing machine and use the laundrette

More annoyingly even if they do have a washer they still use the laundrette.

If something is happening like a character is blackmailing another, they try to 'sort it' without ever going to the police.

No one has any hobbies or interests, even mainstream ones.
No one ever watches the World Cup or the Olympics.
No one knows anything about news or current affairs.

15 people who normally hate each other go to Spain together.

That's a fairly standard 'extended family' holiday isn't it?

Also, no one in eastenders works anywhere else in London, that massive city of jobs.

This! Not that I watch them any more.

I am a fridge-leaver-opener which I know winds people up

In Holby, if anyone’s pregnant / in labour, ‘obstetrics’ is always apparently too busy / won’t take them for some spurious reason and they end up giving birth on a ward with a curtain between them and the old guy with emphysema in the next bed. Gives me the fucking rage, this would NEVER. HAPPEN. in real life. Turn up to hospital with a broken leg but just happen to be pregnant & they’ll whip you to antenatal ward before you can blink (can you tell I work in maternity )

Nobody in Eastenders has a washing machine. Even the rich ones like Ian Beale and Phil Mitchell go to the laundrette!

I think what really annoys me,a new character arrives.Shaady as fuck.Something happens and they dont believe the say Ian who they have known for 30 years.

Instead they believe the shady person.

This thread cracks me up! In Coronation Street yesterday, Cathy was offered a 'trial shift' at The Kabin there and then. Kate and Robert consulted Adam about their baby plans instead of asking another lawyer in Manchester so they could keep their plans a secret for now. God forbid you ask anyone anything outside the street!
Still, I visited the set at the weekend and loved it!