To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

You don't have a headache. It's a tumour.
You don't have the sniffles it's pneumonia.
You don't have indigestion. You're in labour.
You don't need a midwife/birthplan you need your neighbour and her couch/car/she'd.
You don't need new born clothes as your baby is 3 months old already.
You don't need someone's contact details as they are magically in your phone.

Lack of anyone doing housework particularly the Beals or most soap houses yet they are immaculate. No one staggers in with heavy shopping, unloads the dishwasher, picks up crap in the hall.

Where does all their stuff go.

People move out but seem to leave stuff - e.g. Emily Bishop then new people move into house as lodgers

Everyone find their "soul mate" in the house next door (or down the street).... then they break up and find a new soul mate the month after....you guessed it....from down the street.

The amount of people these characters have slept with you'd think they would do a few more episodes down the clinic so they can all check they haven't caught anything.

I used to love in Neighbours how they'd make dinner plans and then in the next scene they'd just be there, at dinner. No time to meet, deciding venue etc, they'd just be there ordering a lemon lime & bitters.

I find the way there's always a convenient cancellation for the appropriate medical specialist so they get an appointment In the next episode really annoying. Much more realistic if they had to actually bloody wait like everyone else!

When a pub or restaurant tries out a new marketing initiative, like a themed night with 24 hours notice, and it’s packed to the rafters after giving out just a couple of badly photocopied flyers.

Adoption is the worst thing ever for a woman and child. Doesn't matter if your adoptive family are amazing, as soon as you meet your 'real' mum and family sayanora those has beens are dead to you.

Every woman who's ever had an abortion is so tormented and traumatised that she's just one mention away from institutionalisation.

I've just thought of one that bugs the hell out of me.

The Barlow's house in Corrie...the only rooms they ever show are the kitchen and dining room. They presumably have a front room but never use it. They spend their lives in the kitchen and dining room, even in the evenings when you'd think they'd want to relax on a sofa, they are just sat at that bloody dining room table. There is a sofa in the room but hardly anyone ever actually uses it. Does my head in.

Are there any happily married couples in the soaps at the moment?

Definitely "I'll have a pint". Of what??

Don't actually watch any soaps now but caught the end of Holby which appeared to be the same mystery-attacker-leaves-doctor-for-dead plot as the last time I randomly saw the end of an episode...

On every blood pressure machine it always shows the perfect 120/80

Debbie flaming dingle
She never works, yet can afford to rent a house
Ok she owns the garage but she is never actually there
And OMG she has so much childcare
What single mum can go abroad at the drop of a hat for two weeks without even thinking about childcare
She unpacked a whole house by herself after one episode
I moved months ago and still have boxes in random places!

And in general the whole childcare thing, maybe because I don't live near family or in a village but no one seems to look after their own kids... poor Diane she's always got someone's sprog
And just how easy having a baby is portrayed
'Just ganna put dotty down for her nap' 30 seconds later she's sound asleep
Never hear a peep out of her

Also when Megan gave birth, very traumatic birth, shoulder displacia so I'm guessing she would have torn quite badly
Next day was running around is skinny jeans... just not realistic!

Still love emmerdale tho and watch it religiously 🙈🙈

'On every blood pressure machine it always shows the perfect 120/80'

Yeah, and then they announce, 'Your blood pressure's fine.'

They make arrangements to meet up at a certain place but never give a time. It drives me mad.

Yy @user1499786242 and if the baby is crying and won't settle it is certainly because the mum has PND and is on the verge of a breakdown.

Affairs are always found out. I've never had an affair but I dare say there's loads of affairs in the real world where people shag for a bit, decide it's a bad idea, or it just fizzles out and life carries on as it did before. Not in soap land, you so much as unzip your fly in someone else's company and someone will know about it within minutes.

Every dodgy conversation is transmitted via a baby monitor.

.The way the go to the local pub or cafe for a private talk..
.No one is ever has to sign on.
.They daresnt go any further that their local pub for a night out. Perish the thought. They might fall off the edge of the world.
.The can raise 50k in a matter of weeks.
You can fake your own death and no one not even your kids nor the law bats an eye lid

The end of each scene where an actor stares into the distance with a weird expression. Or when the actors hug each other and stare across the other person’s shoulder with that weird expression again. DH and I sit there counting each one of these per show! Sad aren’t we 😀

Getting pregnant after only one shag

This actually happens in RL

They know each others birthday's, phone numbers and surnames.

Not in soap land, you so much as unzip your fly in someone else's company and someone will know about it within minutes.

With the affair typically being exposed in dramatic fashion on Christmas Day of all days!

That every single person who comes into Eastenders that isn't a cockney is automatically a baddie, that the residents shout at any professional they encounter (i.e. doctors, surgeons, social workers).

I don’t watch them now but when I was younger (and living at home with a DM who watched all of them!), I could never understand why their kids would disappear upstairs and then come down 3 yrs later. Tracy Barlow and Sally from home and away were always doing this.

People who are told they can't have children and immediately get pregnant

Never take precautions and are always pregnant after ONS.

Walking into other people's houses in Neighbours

'People who are told they can't have children and immediately get pregnant'

Yeah, this happens to slebs a lot, too. 'I was told I couldn't have children.' I have never heard of this happening in real life unless the person has no uterus, Fallopian tubes or ovaries, has had total body irradiation or other forms of premature ovarian failure or is menopausal. Otherwise, even women in their late 40s, well into perimenopause, are always advised to use contraception.