Absolutely fuming.... Anyone awake?

[hullahoops]

So here's a bit of back story, partner and I have just moved into a new house, expecting a baby in March, money is tight and I have been suffering with depression.

I only told him last week that I felt "depressed" and went to docs etc. He told me he'd be supportive blah blah blah.

So tonight, I get in from work to be greeted by him in his best clothes telling me he's going out for Chinese with the boys and he might be (and I quote) "a bit late"

So anyway, for someone being really supportive about the way I've been feeling lately, he's not text me all night. (He knows I'm home alone) I fell asleep there from about 10pm-1.30am woke up and was surprised not to find him at home (doesn't usually stay out past 12/12.30 During the week) well my concern now is.... It's after 4am, all the pubs closed at 2am, his phone is off. Am I right to think he's an absolute selfish bastard? I'm working at 7am.... Sitting at home worrying myself sick?

My DH done this one night, I was worried sick too, he didn’t call as he thought I would be asleep. He didn’t know I had been awake worrying! Never happened since. Take it easy today, you must feel tired out. I am sure he will be fine.

Oh OP. I feel for you. My partner did this to me. Went out with the boys and rolled in at 3am when I was pregnant and feeling shit.
I don't care if I'm controlling, I laid down the law the next morning. As long as I'm pregnant he was not allowed to get drunk. I couldn't so why should he? Also he got a 12pm curfew. I was so jealous and resentful of him going out getting pissed I was prepared to leave him and go it alone. Oh the anger I felt that night. I was so upset that he could disregard me like that. How he thought going clubbing (with a group of girls, I might add) was acceptable I'll never know. I literally wanted to stab him.
Your boyfriend is being a prick. He may not even realise it.
It's a sackable offence in my opinion so he is treading on thin ice.
Good luck OP. Stay strong. You are 100% entitled to be raging right now. I just really hope for your sake he hasn't fucked it up seriously (because then you should stab him) and you two can work things out with some new ground rules in place!

Is he back?

Fingers crossed he's turned up.

Is he back yet?

Hope he’s turned up and apologised! X

I'm a terrible worrier and would be beyond anxious if my dh did this....BUT, in my many years of mumsnet I've read so many of these posts which always get resolved in the morning with a "I fell asleep on the bus/my mate's sofa" etc story. He'll be fine op

Is he home? This is totally unacceptable behaviour.

Hope he is home with you now op.

Fingers crossed he’s back now OP

Is he home op?

I’d be worried too, such a selfish thing to do. Hope you’re ok.

I’m really hoping you fell asleep and that he’s home now xx

Also hoping he’s home and you’re sleeping now

My exh used to do this all the time. He’d go out often under the premise of just a couple, would ring me about midnight and say he was on his way home and then not appear until 3-4am, I’d be awake worrying what had happened to him as he’d said he was on his way home, he wouldn’t answer his phone or it would be off- every single time it would be that he’d gone back to a mates they’d played PlayStation or something for a bit and then he’d fallen asleep. Completely oblivious to the worry he’d caused me.
Every time I’d tell him it wasn’t on, that I’d prefer it if he didn’t ring to say he was on his way home which is what woke me up to begin with, that I’d rather be ignorant to his whereabouts than sat awake all night worrying about him.
Every single time he’d apologise says he won’t do it again that he would just come home and he never did. I also got told I should just go back to sleep, there was nothing to worry about, I don’t control him etc
The thing is, by ringing me to say he was on his way home, he knew I’d be awake, he knew I’d then worry about what had happened to him as time ticked on and he still did it time after time

Posted too soon....

I do hope this is just a blip for your dp and all is well- he has a lot of apologising to do

I'd be livid too. I hope he's back by now OP.
Assuming he is, try not to let your relief at him being home stop you from giving him a bollocking for doing this to you.
He's about to become a father and clearly needs to sort out his priorities!

I imagine he was totally drunk and struggled to get a taxi home, esp if you live out of town. Probably kipping on a mate's sofa. I would wait until he is not hung over then sit him down and have a really serious talk.

Any news op

I’d be furious, and beyond upset at this. Hope everything’s ok.

Hulla I feel your pain, that's really thoughtless. Hopefully he'll be back by now? Lovely of your mum to come over!

it is still a dick move to go out and stay out without letting your partner know where you are and that you are okay. I would be furious.

I think that just depends on the relationship doesn't it? When my DW went out at the weekend for a meal and "a few drinks" it spilled over to a few late bars which spilled over to a few clubs. I was kind of expecting her before midnight (going off what she'd said before going out) but she was still out, at 1am I was a little worried but went to bed, and she eventually came in at half 3. That's her prerogative ATEOTD, she's an adult. Likewise when I go out with my friends we will sometimes go back to someone's house after last orders and drink till the early hours. I wouldn't expect my DW to keep tabs on me or to think I was being a dick just for being out. But as I say that all depends on the individual relationship.

I would be fuming, and I really hope he’s home with you now OP.
I’m also pregnant, feeling a bit vulnerable and down and DP has two work nights out over the next 2 days. If he was to do something like this I’d have been staying up all night worrying. I suffer from anxiety, particularly in terms of my partner and something happening to him. Totally unacceptable in my opinion.
Hope he’s home for you OP

Sending a quick text to say you'll be late takes no time or effort at all.

It's a dick move to let someone you care about worry unnecessarily.

Is he back op?