CF friend or AIBU?

[SilverBirchTree]

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

That's the trouble with babies, they're very inconsiderate

Oh my days!! What an absolute heartless, selfish, money grabbing bitch! You tried to do a lovely thing for her FIL and she just saw money, even though she’s comfortable, she has no redeeming features! Hope you get this object back, I’d bloody demand it even if it’s been sold, she will have to explain to the buyer. Cow.

Placemarkers.. you can just swipe left and 'watch'

The thread comes up in your 'watch' folder

Or if you've contributed it comes up in your 'I'm on' folder

Never quite understood placemarkers.. it's totally unnecessary

Op I hate eBay and am not bothered by bad feedback, there must be loads of posters like me who don’t care... post the link, we’ll bid it into the thousands then refuse to pay, take the feedback and you can go and collect it when the item never gets actually sold

Report the item stolen on eBay... escalate the matter...

I've just read 36 pages. Get your item back! She is one cheeky mare

i don’t believe anybody can be this bad!😱

@cindbelly amazing idea!

Hi all,

just woken up to find an abusive email from CF in my inbox. She's accusing me of poisoning her husband against her and being low class for 'taking back a gift.'

For those frustrated (seriously, it's just an object on the other side of the world, no need to get angry with me ) that I haven't called the police/reported her to eBay/stood on her front door screaming for the last 24 hours, here are my reasons:

A) it's not my style to escalate drama generally
B) we have a new baby/life is busy enough
C) CF, DH of CF and I all work in the same field - I don't need her spreading rumours that I called the cops on her while I'm on parental leave
D) I don't think it's such a clear cut case of theft that I can quickly report it. It would involve a bit of pulling together evidence and making the case that it's not hers, which i am not keen to do.

I can see how it's frustrating for someone viewing this as a story that would be better with an ending, but in terms of my real actual life I think keeping my cool is the way to go, even if it costs me the object.

It's 7:30 on Saturday morning here, hoping DH of CF returns the object today! Will let you all know.

Considering what the bidding's up to, I hope to god it's not this...

I spotted that this morning and have it saved in my watch list!! It's a proper antique shop that's selling it, though....

That's a really cynical and crafty way to behave - you offered it to her Fil and if he didn't want to keep it then it was NOT theirs - they should have given it straight back to you. Does she not think that you could sell it and buy nice things for your family?
She might be keen for a bargain but in this case she has exploited your generous and kind gesture, and I would certainly be chasing her to get it back. Fine friend. (You may well find that Fil either didn't know about it at all, or she has told him you've asked her to sell it!)

@Elliemayclampett ME. TOO.

and still no photo of OP holding it victoriously whilst cluster feeding newborn and putting a shrimp on the barbie.

COME ON OP. WE ARE ALL ROUTING FOR YOU.

**im also rooting for you 😩😂

Oh she's such a cf. It does sound like the husband is on your side

Holy shit, this enraged me, god knows how you feel!. Demand it back or go round and take it back. Oh and no more friends, what a bitch!!

OMG she gets worse!!! You are a saint OP. Seriously, what normal person behaves like that?!?!!

I've now caught up (apologies I'll read first and post second in the future!)

OP - please don't apologise to any of us! Crazy that it's gone this far and clearly your 'friend' is a fucking loon. So sad that such a genuinely lovely, kind gesture, can be so destroyed by such grabby, bitchy, wanky, shit behaviour! I so hope you get it back and are able to do what you want to do with your possession! So sorry that you're having to deal with such shit, the utter fatigue that can hit with cluster feeding newborns isn't the most helpful of things in general day to day life, let alone bonkers situations like this! You sound totally lovely and CF (which should really stand for Cunty Fucker) is a whack job bitch!

All a bit

What an absolute knob. Please don't forget to start a new thread before this one ends and link to it here. This thread will reach 1k very soon and we want to hear all about your victorious outcome!

You're right op, I probably would IRL too if you all work in the same area, agree it's not worth the bad word of mouth. The friendship would be dead though, how can you trust someone that'd behave like this over £340 they don't need and wasn't theirs. Some people can't admit they got something wrong!

Think so Waitrose Pigeon? How nice for you.

Hope DH of CF comes through and brings the object back, time will tell

Omg! What a disgusting individual!

She is a thief! This is no different to If you posted an item to someone and the postman decided it was valuable and put it on eBay!

As for poisoning her husband against her.... her behaviour did that!

Taking back gifts...... you never gifted it to her, she was supposed to deliver it but stole it!

Hope you get it back, she sounds like an immoral, selfish, thoughtless piece of work!

Wow SilverBirchTree I'm speechless at your 'friend's behaviour and how she is continuing to behave. I really value trust, honesty, and morals in my friends and if she were my friend I'd never speak to her socially/outside of work again. All this hassle when she knows you have a baby to look after as well.
Your thread has brought back some uncomfortable memories of my best 'friend' when I was a teenager. She was absolutely awful to me and totally used me and others around me but I couldn't see it at the time as I was not confident and had quite low self-esteem then.
I really hope you get the item back and cut this poisonous person out of your life.

Why are people trying to find the object?

The OP has already clearly stated that she wants to keep this as anonymous as is possible so that the papers don't pick it up.

Stop searching!