Asking guests to pay - AIBU?

[Juliajuju]

Fiance and I have recently got engaged and have been deciding on wedding arrangements. We've not long bought our first home, meaning that most of our savings have been spent for now and although getting married is very important to us, having a large impressive wedding is not.

We are both keen to marry by next year and we've therefore decided on a low key church ceremony with family only (50 guests), followed by all of us going for a meal at a nice small restaurant nearby, which as confirmed they are able to host a private dinner for us all.

As much as we'd love to pay for everyone, on top of the other wedding fees, we simply can't afford to pay for 50 lots of three course meals and drinks. We've come up with the idea of asking guests to pay for their own meals rather than giving us any wedding gift of any kind.

Upon mentioning this to DF's parents, they were horrified and felt this would be the height of rudeness. Are we being unreasonable?

Could you not look at packages? Some hotels do offers. I don’t know where about in the country you are but I know the likes of groupon sometimes have really good wedding packages, for less than 2k. Or could you not credit card the meal and then pay it off with the money you will inevitably get as gifts from people without asking for it.

Do you really need 50 people at your meal? Both sets of parents and yourself means you can afford to pay for your wedding breakfast.

Don’t invite people to join you for a meal that you want them to pay for, either only invite the people you can afford or nip off and have a wedding with no guests if you can’t afford to host a proper wedding reception.

Asking people to a meal that they will have to pay for after they have paid for, travel, hotel costs, new outfits, time off work, childcare and gifts just makes you a CF.

Extremely rude. If you want a cheap wedding, do it in the registry office, have two witnesses and then go out to the pub as a foursome

I'd would go and bring a packed lunch.

@ Borussia. Aw, and no cash gift? You just don't love them or you'd support the big day no matter what.

Oh my god no that is SO RUDE, please don’t do it OP