To ask Mum to pay for her childs birthday party place

[Catbell82]

I sent invites out for DS birthday party a month ago. Now 3 days before the party one of the Mum's has sent me a message saying 'sorry something has come up. My DS can no longer come to your DS party. Hope he has a great time'.

I paid £15 per child for this party which is a lot of money for us especially in December. I've contacted the venue but they have said they can't issue a refund so close to the party date. We have no one else we could invite except for maybe another child from DS class but I don't think an invite 3 days before the party is acceptable.

I'm really annoyed and feel like messaging the Mum asking her to pay for her son's place!! I appreciate that she may have a genuine reason for cancelling but if it was me I would at least offer to pay for my DS especially when I know how expensive parties can be and at this short notice it's most likely that everything has already been paid for!! She knows the venue, has been there and knows you pay per child. I would never actually ask her to but I wish I could!!

Why the F is this thread still going
OP hasn't even bothered to come back....... maybe we should charge her

You can't do that. YABU. While it is annoying, you cannot do that. It could be a genuine emergency. For future parties, a lot of party venues don't charge if the child is a no-show.

Don't ask for the money. It's your party, it's not their responsibility and it won't cost you any more. They'll probably still send the present and you'll just look like an unread dick

I think you're being far more rude than the mother who cancelled. She gave you enough warning to invite someone else and for all you know is dealing with something serious. You're being petty and self righteous. Yes YABVU

Just ask another kid! Dd1 got a last minute party invitation to a pay per place so the other day. It was v obvious she was on the reserve list - she didn't care about that she just went and had a great time anyway. All the kids get along so well but every Mum can't pay for 30 kids every party.

I do activity parties and we have a reserve list to make sure every place gets used - it's just the way it is you need to be organised

And yes precisely they let you know - so you could ask someone else - yabvu

OP hasn't even bothered to come back.....

She probably isn't coming back because most posters didn't bother reading her OP and have been falling over themselves to tell her how awful she is even though she clearly said in her OP that she would never actually ask her .

Its the last sentence of her OP. I suspect some readers where too outraged to be capable of reading the whole thing.

she would never actually ask her

Which makes this thread the most useless AIBU thread ever.

Tbh, it's not the mums fault you booked an expensive party. It's the kind of thing you just accept when organising parties these days. She is being considerate as she's giving you enough notice to fill the place.

@lweji

Which makes this thread the most useless AIBU thread ever.

The OP asked if feeling angry about it was Unreasonable or not. Asking whether your feeling are unreasonable or not is normal fare for AIBU. It ends up being a pointless thread if there are a lot of posters that can't or haven't bothered to read the OP though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The OP asked if feeling angry about it was Unreasonable or not.

Not quite.
Her title question is whether she'd be unreasonable to ask for money from this mother.
The OP doesn't actually ask if her feelings are unreasonable. And the title is not about being angry. It's all about wanting money from the other parent.

Therefore, useless thread, if taken literally to the last sentence on the OP.

Or...
Some leeway is given to OP and people responding. The overall gist is still that the OP is unreasonable to want/wish for money in this instance.
No need to berate pps, unless you want to berate the OP for such a messy and contradictory OP and thread title.

C'mon Lweji. That's a bit of a stretch. The OPs OP is perfectly clear if people bothered to read it. I'd agree that the title is click bait'y but I don't think anyone thinks just reading the title in isolation is a good idea. Lots of AIBU titles have similarly dramatic titles.

Posters have been quite nasty to the OP so I think very politely 'berating' them for not having even read the OPs OP is ok. Funny how none of them have been back to apologise to the OP. I sometimes think some posters just like to put the boot in.