AIBU to not want to go to my colleague’s house for dinner?

[Skarossinkplunger]

I’m two months into a new job where I share an office with a male colleague. We’re still in the getting to know each other stage but he seems like a nice bloke. We get on well and have not been in a social situation.

His partner works here too but is currently on maternity leave. She called in with the baby unannounced yesterday and attempted to engage in a long conversation which was a pain as I was really busy. She was asking lots of questions and I got the distinct feeling I was being ‘assessed’.

The conversation ended with her inviting my husband and I for dinner at their house and completely cringe-worthy PDA with my colleague as she left.

AIBU to not want to have dinner with two people I barely know just so she can make I don’t hit in her partner?

Absolutely decided I’m not going.

RGotten kn bank we noneed an cc?

OMG. I have no idea how the above posted. Sorry

Well done for deciding not to go, but I think all the angst about the wife on mumsnet was unnecessary. She sounds like she was being annoying, but there are a lot of people who are annoying but you don't need a bunch of strangers to agree that they're annoying and that you're not being unreasonable to not associate with them.

I just feel it's been quite a bitchy thread about a woman who has a young baby who probably needs reassurance that her DH still finds her attractive.

If your colleague knew you had this level of ill will toward his wife and were spreading rumors (practice run on mumsnet?) that she is insecure and insinuating their marriage is in trouble somehow, do you really think he’d appreciate that?

What she said could be taken as a joke, you say you’ve just married and she said are you tired of him yet. In context it makes sense though I can see how it could be taken the other way if it was said in malice. It was the first and only time you met her, come on. You could give her the benefit of the doubt this first time. And the pda is none of your business. The office is the colleague’s too and some couples are more affectionate than others. It was done in his office, they presumably didn’t think you’d be looking at them while they visited with each other especially since you said you were so busy with work.

A lot of responses on here emphasize a new mother being insecure. I was the opposite. I felt exhilaration and empowered, yes very tired, but also it is a magical time, that might explain her enthusiastic friendliness to you. How many times have we all tried to joke a bit with a new acquaintance and the words didn’t come out quite right? You come across, to me at least, as overly defensive in response to something pretty trivial. Again, I don’t think this is about a dinner invitation.

If this weird vibe you feel you’ve gotten from her happens again, then you will know for sure. Then simply be professional in the office as you have been and of course don’t socialize with them. There is no angst needed.

I never once said you should socialize with them. If she is truly a nutcase then I certainly wouldn’t either. How hard is it to say sorry, I’m busy. It’s not hard.

Lash This last post is the most level-headed you’ve been on this thread and yet you’re still accusing me of stuff that I simply
haven’t done. Now I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here ( because after what you’ve thrown at me on here it would be unwise to to say what I really want to). I’m going with that the fact that you’re identifying so much with the woman that you’ve been in the position where you distrust your partner and if you have then I’m sorry. Maybe you’ve been one of the woman who has been advised to “invite her to dinner” on MN before.

Either way I won’t be responding to you anymore. Thanks for your ‘input’.