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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
curryforbreakfast · 10/12/2017 13:21

Thymeout what are you blithering about?

Jaggythistle · 10/12/2017 13:22

face.palm.

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
Thymeout · 10/12/2017 13:23

Oh come on! One of my 4 yr old grandsons nearly started WW3 over Sunday lunch when his same-age cousin was making a fuss over a carrot and he casually remarked, 'He's being a baby'. Get real!

Jaggythistle · 10/12/2017 13:26

Because that's just the same thing Thyme Hmm

I notice like everyone else on the thread you are ignoring the actual sling users who have responded to say that they don't carry their DC all bloody day??

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 10/12/2017 13:27

Some people cannot comprehend the concept of utilising different modes of transport according to need. SOMETIMES he is in the sling. SOMETIMES he walks. SOMETIMES he rides a pedal bike. SOMETIMES we drive. Seeing a 4 year old in a sling does NOT mean that 4 year old is ALWAYS in a sling. RTFT for fuck's sake and stop being so bloody obtuse!
ps he's not at school yet, and no other kid has ever taken the piss out of him. At 4, kids in my experience don't tend to take the piss out of other kids and have no concept of embarrassment over what they look like. My son's outfit choices will occasionally reflect this. Also, all that street-wise stuff you listed, he has thay nailed thanks. Seems going in a sling for maybe 40 mins a week hasn't totally retarded his development after all, but thanks for the concern.

Hermagsjesty · 10/12/2017 13:33

Thymeout - I’m not sure what you’re getting at re the carrot thing. Noone’s ever called my DS a baby for occasionally being carried in a sling. If they did he’d likely shrug and say it doesn’t matter and he still likes it. Because he’s resilient and (despite occasionally going in a sling) emotionally intelligent enough not to cause WW3 for being called a silly, unkind name.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 10/12/2017 13:33

If I did ever hear DS say 'he's being a baby' to one of his contemporaries he would be engaged in a firm talk about why that's not a kind thing to say and why. Teaching our kids about compassion, understanding and why not to be judgemental needs to start early. Sadly not something many people on here benefitted from as kids, clearly.

ElphabaTheGreen · 10/12/2017 14:18

Basically this:

believe me a child that is in a sling on the way to school is more likely to be walking home on the way back than the child who is in a buggy.

And this:

I think you're conflating two issues though thymeout, there's no evidence to suggest those of us who use slings are the same parents who don't teach our children lifeskills

Fiercely independent and energetic five year old DS1 here, who hasn't been in a sling since January and probably never will be again. His confidence had other parents in his year assuming he's one of the oldest - he's a summer-born.

The three year old who was slung for 20 minutes of convenience yesterday is walking the length and breadth of Manchester today. But do focus on that 20 minutes that apparently proves your argument. Do.

greatbigwho · 10/12/2017 15:40

Jeffy

Yup, we use a Connecta!

Spudlet · 10/12/2017 22:36

What the feckity fuck have carrots got to do with slings? Bejaysus, there are some downright peculiar people on here - what with the root vegetables and the pelvic floor obsessives, I'm not sure which is odder Confused

berliozwooler · 11/12/2017 05:43

When we went for longer walks I always used to get DH to carry them on his back (in the pointlessly massive rucksack thing we had clearly designed by and for men- was always weirdly too big for my back Hmm).

I am slow on any downward slopes anyway due to vertigo and having a baby on my back felt like it was going to pitch us both over. And any stiles were out of the question. DH has always been more sure footed. Plus, FFS, I had already carried them for nine months each in my body, then for several months in a sling afterwards. Time for someone else to have a go.

I don't like the judgemental attitudes shown on this thread towards people carrying small children. But nor do I like the superior smug attitude demonstrated by some of the sling wearers on here either - as if no-one else in the world is as fit and active as you, and the implication that you must be inactive if you don't wear your children. Fuckyou very much, frankly.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 11/12/2017 08:07

berlioz the fit and active point has just been laboured quite heavily due to several posters repeatedly carping on about it being physically damaging to the adult, ignoring the fact that everyone has differing capabilities, and any child getting slung 'should be getting some exercise'. It's tedious. The refutation of these repeated points has translated to you as being superior and smug, but please rtft and see the context in which those declarations have been made. Only in defence to a heap of pure shite.

Spudlet · 11/12/2017 09:23

berlioz I'm sorry if my post upset you - I didn't mean to come across as smug, just as sharing the experience of having a humunga-baby in a jocular way. Tone doesn't always come across in writing though so I apologise for being a bit ham-fisted.

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 09:32

But nor do I like the superior smug attitude demonstrated by some of the sling wearers on here either - as if no-one else in the world is as fit and active as you, and the implication that you must be inactive if you don't wear your children. Fuckyou very much, frankly

FO yourself.People had to defend themselves against accusations of having feeble, weak, babyied and unable to walk children, of course they were talking about levels of activity.
It's not all about you Hmm

Thymeout · 11/12/2017 11:27

At 4, kids in my experience don't tend to take the piss out of other kids

That's for those having difficulty in understanding the relevance of my post referring to one cousin's response to the other making a fuss about a carrot...Xmas Hmm

Of course, 4 yr olds are capable of taking the piss. More capable than of being resilient and showing EQ, ime. There was some research showing that empathy is a pretty alien concept till 5/6. No matter how many 'how would you feel if...' conversations you have with them. In the playground, that all goes out of the window when stronger imperatives to fit in with the pack and not be singled out from the herd kick in.

I think Berlioz was referring to activity levels of mothers, not children And Dr Ranj's post about her fitness regime.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 11/12/2017 11:51

thank you - I have already explained why I detailed my fitness regime, that it was a defence against the endless attempts to make out children occasionally in slings are lazy and the mothers all have terrible backs and failing pelvic floors.
And no - no-one has ever taken the piss out of my 4 year old for it and neither has he taken the piss out of his friends that show up to nursery in a buggy. He couldn't give two shits what his friend's transport is, what they wear etc. He cares about whether they like dinosaurs or if they like cycling. Hmm

moonmaker · 11/12/2017 12:11

When a child is being carried, it's the mother who is doing all that. The child is in passive, not active mode. They zone out.

What, do you have a PhD in babywearing?

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 12:28

In the playground, that all goes out of the window when stronger imperatives to fit in with the pack and not be singled out from the herd kick in

Child is THREE. What playground? What pack? WTF is wrong with the kids in your family that you think its normal for toddlers to bully each other?

Thymeout · 11/12/2017 12:52

School is a v different environment from nursery. A pp said that a 4 yr old in a carrier would be laughed at for being a baby. Others scoffed at the very idea that a 4 yr old would notice and if they did, they wouldn't be mean about it.

Sorry - I disagree. That's it from me, I think. This thread is going round in circles.

Thymeout · 11/12/2017 12:54

Curry - do read the posts. My grandsons were 4 at the time.

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 12:55

We aren't talking about your grandsons though, are we? And I wouldn't be so boasty about them being horrible to each other, tbh.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 11/12/2017 13:52

my 4 year old is in a nursery, fwiw. Pre-school, whatever. I am very happy that it seems to be full of happy go lucky kids that haven't noticed the sling, let alone been mean about it. And if he was ever mean about another kid for something so silly I would come down pretty hard on him, believe me.

Mrsfrumble · 11/12/2017 18:13

I've always discouraged my children from dismissing things they've outgrown as "babyish". I just tell them that they, personally, don't need them anymore, but don't make generalisations based on age.

We have a relative who, due to SN, uses nappies, a dummy and pushchair at 4 so have personal experience of how unhelpful encouraging children to make such judgements is.

Sleepyblueocean · 11/12/2017 18:42

Having a disabled child who has been on the receiving end of baby comments, I judge parents who think it is ok for their child to do that.

Surreymummy2017 · 13/12/2017 23:21

I think occasionally carrying your child keeps you in shape. Its like Im lifting weights I carry my two year old if I wanna take her back from the park , she tends to fall asleep. She still very active and independent was walking at 10 months. I don't see what the fuss is.

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