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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
fizzicles · 09/12/2017 04:01

I put my 4yo in the sling on the way home from school yesterday! Toddler was merrily scooting home and ran straight into 4yo’s legs. Baby was in the buggy crying and I wanted to get home quickly so I could feed baby. Much nicer for everyone to carry DD the last little bit, than drag her along crying with a sore foot or stand in the cold calming her down while baby screams. Chucked her on my back and we were home much quicker. Everyone wins.

Only1scoop · 09/12/2017 07:42

Where do you carry these occasional toddler slings when not in use? Do they roll up really small like those eco shopping bags?

greatbigwho · 09/12/2017 07:58

Only1scoop yup - it rolls up to about the size of a large pencil case

Mustang27 · 09/12/2017 09:46

Toddler carries exist and they are really handy. I'd do far more damage carrying my toddler in my arms. Each to their own.

They person saying that all carrying mummies look the same is clearly a twat.

Just think of the extra calories she is burning. My toddler is stubborn and not the easiest to convince to continue walking and it's far easier than trying to stick him in a pram.

curryforbreakfast · 09/12/2017 11:33

how do you know your back and pelvic floor (my main concern is with the pelvic floor) won't be strained by a child who has gone through a growth spurt?

While its very kind of you to be so concerned about our pelvic floors, it's also slighly creepy. If I want to carry heavy things all day every day until my vagina turns inside out its really only my own business, isn't it?
Carrying children never damaged my pelvic floor, sadly the birth of another child many years later ruined it so much I needed surgery. I wouldn't tell anyone not to have babies on the off chance it happened to them though!

Fuckit2017 · 09/12/2017 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mustang27 · 09/12/2017 11:44

Iv always has quite strong pelvic muscles. Carrying has had no negative effect. I'm loving all the tandem carrying too woop. Superheroes don't always wear capes sometimes they wear their babies Grin.

Jeanneweany · 09/12/2017 12:09

I have a hip problem, I carried all four kids on my hip. Would have loved to use a sling if needed. These were not popular 30 years ago.

FireCracker2 · 09/12/2017 18:41

Carrying 3 and 4 yos is ridiculous.A 4 yo should have as much or more energy as an adult!

Jaggythistle · 09/12/2017 19:34

(Sorry - saw this and thought of this thread)

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
mathanxiety · 09/12/2017 21:04

What is creepy about concern for other women's potential health issues?

Are you conflating pelvic floor health with something to do with sex?

The possible issue is urinary incontinence.

dramalamma · 09/12/2017 21:10

Much easier to carry in a sling where they’re all nicely contained and weight is evenly distributed and hands are free and child feels nice and secure than having to carry a whining, wriggling four-year old on your hip when they have a tantrum and refuse to walk! Though personally I favour a back carry as I find it easier to do stuff.

JeffyJeffington · 09/12/2017 21:51

Can anyone link to a good carrier for bigger kids that goes down to a compact size- eg one referred to by greatbigwho? I commute with my 3.5YO a fair distance - including a longish walk across central London each day. She walks most of the way but usually resort to popping her on my shoulders for some of the way just to save a bit of time- which is obviously really bad for my upper back! When she was 1-2 had her in an ergo, then in a buggy 2-3, then she started to really hate the buggy and I had always hated taking a buggy on commuter trains anyway. Something like that would be a godsend.

Thymeout · 09/12/2017 22:00

What is this whining, wriggling 4 yr old going to do when he's in Reception, as lots of 4 yr olds are these days? There was a post much earlier on the thread from a TA who said how surprised she was about children asking to be carried at school.

If there's a buggy, they will tantrum to sit in it. The same if there's a sling or a mother who will pick them up. Fine if you're on an all-day fell walk and that's your thing. But much better for an urban 4 yr old to learn to walk down a residential street, as in the op.

Jaggythistle · 09/12/2017 22:19

OK SHOUTING NOW

IT'S ONLY OCCASIONALLY. WHEN IT'S HANDY/THEY'RE POORLY/YOU'RE IN A RUSH ETC

THEY WALK ALMOST ALL THE TIME.

Jaggythistle · 09/12/2017 22:25

@jeffyjeffington

There's a pre-school sized Integra (used to be connecta) carrier. I think their sizes are numbers now. Size 1 baby, size 2 toddler etc.

They fold down small.

I'm sure there are others but I'm not sure if they're as compact to carry.

I've a toddler tula which carried my v big 3+ yo but it's bulkier with padded waistband.

My minds gone a bit blank for other big size ones 🙈

JeffyJeffington · 09/12/2017 22:30

Fab thanks @Jaggythistle

ElphabaTheGreen · 09/12/2017 22:47
ElphabaTheGreen · 09/12/2017 23:26

I carried for 20 minutes today for the first time in about two weeks because 3yo DS2 and I had to meet up with DH and DS1 by a certain time in town. They had the car with them so I couldn't drive, sorry, and much as DS2 wanted to walk, there is no way his little legs would have got us there in time.

From this thread, I realise that by having done this, I am in turns forcing my child into an extended babyhood and an obese adolescence. I apologise especially for enjoying the fact that he sang Christmas carols in my ear the whole way and laughed at the snowflakes on his eyelashes. I really should have forced him onto his balance bike, which I remind you he is slower on than on foot in the highly likely event that you haven't RTFT, and left him in an icy puddle as punishment for not keeping up. (Hint: see how I went to the other extreme there? Gross and inaccurate generalisations are kind of fucking irritating aren't they?)

I'm also alarmed that in having done this, I shall be dragging my uterus along the floor in years to come, despite having a pelvic floor honeymoon-fresh from two c-sections, not to mention years of dance, Pilates, aerobics, cross-training and weight-training. Which I still do 5-6 times a week.

I have seen the light.

OnNaturesCourse · 09/12/2017 23:45

Her back and pelvic floor must be descended from hulk genetics.

Mine on the other hand struggle with my 1 month old being sling carried for more than 30 minutes.

catkind · 10/12/2017 00:32

Grin elphaba.

I'm a bit puzzled by the pelvic floor thing as those muscles didn't seem at all involved when I used a sling. And while I know a few mums who won't go on a trampoline any more, they're not ones who used slings as it happened (though I haven't had that conversation with enough people to constitute a statistically significant sample!). Anyone have a research reference?

Hermagsjesty · 10/12/2017 00:42

I use a Connecta preschooler for my 3.5yr old - v supportive and folds down really small.

I don’t drive so he probably actually walks about more than other kids his age do. But if he’s tired on a morning or after a long day I’ll put him in it for the school run because it isn’t fair for his big sister to be late because of him going slow. It’s also a nice thing to do every now and again. 3-4 is still v young.

I really do not care if strangers think it looks silly or whatever.

CountFosco · 10/12/2017 00:56

I'm a bit puzzled by the pelvic floor thing as those muscles didn't seem at all involved when I used a sling.

This. But FWIW my middle aged pelvic floor muscles seem fine. For which I thank all the yoga I do not the impact of slinging my children or not.

mathanxiety · 10/12/2017 07:22

So people who say their pelvic floors will not be affected do yoga, cross training, weight training, Pilates and dance (5-6 times a week) as well as the older-child-carrying. Maybe kegels several times a day too.

Hands up how many do all of that, and hands up how many only carry older children?

I see some comments about being late if a child walks. How about leaving earlier?

berliozwooler · 10/12/2017 07:29

I have no problem with it, I'm just amazed that anyone can do it. I had a sling and couldn't carry either of mine beyond being ten months old or so- DDs were 8lb/9lb at birth.