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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
53rdWay · 07/12/2017 21:14

So IME yes it does cause back problems

Righto then, I’ll go back and tell the physios who recommended me strength training as the best thing for back issues, I suppose!

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 21:14

DS forages for wild mushrooms and beansprouts which I send him out to find each day, all by himself. Because he's 4 and should be out working, not being all dependent on a grown up at his age. He complained once but I told him children should be seen and not heard and to get up that mountain and back before tea.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 21:17

pop24 it sounds like you're in need of some better slings in your area if they all have bad backs. Hey! You should totally start a sling library in your neighbourhood, there's a gap in the market! Grin

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/12/2017 21:18

No, Pop. You need to RTFT.

53rdWay · 07/12/2017 21:18

Also honestly, the way to strengthen your muscles is to USE your muscles. We are massively unfit as a society, we don’t get enough exercise and we spend too much time sitting at desks and sitting in cars. If we’ve reached the point where so many people think the best way to stay healthy is to not do things that make us stronger, then we’re not going to get much healthier.

I was probably at my fittest when I was carrying a 2-year-old in back carry a lot and also doing weights classes at the gym twice a week. Now I do less and I’m nowhere near as healthy.

Pop24 · 07/12/2017 21:19

Strength training is not the same as walking with an uneven weight on one hip or one side of your back though? Would you ever see people squatting with odd weight on each side? Of course not. I’m all for weight training. I do a lot of it but a key rule is to keep it balanced and your only straining the muscle for a short time.

Jaggythistle · 07/12/2017 21:19

No pop she was referring to an earlier post.

all mothers who carry big kids are pear shaped, long skirt wearing grey rooted something or other. Hmm

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/12/2017 21:19

What does he do for protein, DrRanj? Squirrels?

Jaggythistle · 07/12/2017 21:20

You don't carry them on one side of your back 😂😂😂

It's like a rucksack as has been spelled out a million times.

Straw clutching much?

53rdWay · 07/12/2017 21:22

Not talking about people carrying children on hips or on one side of their backs, though, Pop24 - that’s not the same as having a child on your back in a carrier.

Biblio78 · 07/12/2017 21:23

I had one of those rucksack type carrier s and used it to get about with my son til he was about 4. It doesn't seem to have affected his independence at all, I wouldn't worry about it

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 21:23

pop24 on one hip or one side of your back?
You do know the only slings that do that are ring slings, which aren't so common and most of us are referring to a buckles or wrap? Even distribution across hips and shoulders, ergonomic carries etc. Hey maybe this is why your local mums are having issues! You really should give a sling library some thought Wink

CountFosco · 07/12/2017 21:23

In my experience (3DC, each one carried in a sling more than the one before) if I had the buggy the kids wanted to be in it. If I stuck the sling in my bag it was there if they needed it but they started the trip walking. We gradually got to the stage where they could happily walk a few miles then we stopped taking the sling. Lead to greater independence than using the buggy or car. And yes, if you carry a LO in a good sling then carrying a 4 year old is easy (and I'm 5'2", nearly 50 and have a strong back because of all the exercise I do including carrying a toddler in a sling on the school run a few years ago).

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/12/2017 21:25

Strength training is not the same as walking with an uneven weight on one hip or one side of your back though?

Eh? A back-carry is firmly in the middle of your back, tight against your body so the weight of the child is as close to your centre of gravity as possible. The extra weight on an otherwise fit, slim and healthy body is brilliant for building bone density and preventing osteoporosis. My FitBit goes green star crazy after an hour hike with 20kg DS2 on my back.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 21:26

elphaba no he's vegan. He knits his own lentil and chia seed bread.

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/12/2017 21:28

Ah. And all that breastmilk. Surprised you let him ingest anything else at all, TBH, since you'd prefer he stayed a baby and all.

Pop24 · 07/12/2017 21:30

Ok my apologies. But lots of people I know who do this DO carry them on one side tied onto a hip with a bit of fabric. If they want to get sciatica that’s their call but my main objection is that their kids seem incapable of walking any distance. I do wonder if it’s a control thing a bit to. They cba to run after the children when they stray from the path and I think they think it’s easier, which of course it is in the same way outings are easier if your toddler is strapped in a pram. It wouldn’t be acceptable to turn up to a toddler walk and push them in a pram all the way but people seem to think wearing them in a sling is because there’s all this magical stuff that happens when you wear a sling apparently. It’s interesting your arguments seem to centre on Mums health and strength but don’t kids need this more than anyone? They need to run, explore the world, stray from the paths. I just find it a shame on what’s meant to be a group walk as they’re also missing out on running round with other children too.

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/12/2017 21:33

Just...RTFT Pop. We've been over this a bajillion times.

Pop24 · 07/12/2017 21:33

Funnily enough the poor lady who has been unable to get out of bed for 2 weeks does run our local sling library! Absolutely true! So surely she can’t be carrying wrongly.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 21:35

yep pop. This has been addressed many times. I think your views are skewed by this small group of mums...much easier to run after a kid when you don't have a buggy to look after and continually go back and retrieve.

Pop24 · 07/12/2017 21:44

Well clearly that’s what I base my views on as that’s my experience of walking with lots of other mum and toddlers. I don’t go round the streets judging people who are wearing slings, i wouldn’t even think about it normally tbh but I do think why come to a toddler walk if you don’t let/encourage your child to walk!

Sara107 · 07/12/2017 22:00

Seem to be lots of people posting about what good excercise it is and how strong it makes you. Surely the 4 yr old the op posted about also needs a spot of excercise? I didn't much like the sling at all. DD was over 50 cm at birth, I'm about 160. Her feet dangled down and hit my c section wound when newborn. By a couple of months old her feet were knocking against my thighs at every step, really uncomfy.

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/12/2017 22:09

You too, Sara. RTFT. Our (occasionally) carried children are very fit, healthy and thoroughly exercised, thanks. But we've already said that repeatedly and been ignored

Jaggythistle · 07/12/2017 22:14

sara sounds like your sling was probably not a supportive type that carries the child with their legs in an "m" shape rather than dangling as you describe. These tend to get uncomfortable pretty quickly from friends experiences.

My small toddlers got carried probably about the same about as others use buggies. Older toddlers/ kids get carried OCCASIONALLY. sometimes not even every day. They walk plenty.

Holy crap please someone read the frickin thread?

Jaggythistle · 07/12/2017 22:16

Like these.

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...