Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

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AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

Did she really just walk past at quarter past midnight?

Why might child want a lift? They might have been running around the park all day and be hungry and parent just wants to get to the shop and home as quickly as possible. It might be nap time. They might be upset and need a cuddle. Any number of reasons. I see loads of preschoolers at the school run in buggies or being carried.

Why a sling? Well, buggies are a bit constraining and bulky - if kid wants to get out and walk you still have to push the buggy and you can't hold their hand. And sling is much easier than carrying child in arms.

Why can she still lift them? If she's still carrying at 3 she probably has a good sling that distributes the child's weight comfortably. I can reasonably comfortably carry my 5 and 8 yr olds around the house if they wrap their legs round my waist like a good sling does. (Separately not both at once!) It's not like a baby just dangling in a sling, more like a baby monkey clinging on or a child in a piggy back.

x post re the time

So it looks a bit stupid and silly to you and we are the ones who need to chill out

OP, maybe life would be easier if you spent less time judging others If it doesn't affect you, why do you need to post about it? Live and let live

One of DD's friends' little sister at 3-4 would regularly end up being carried in arms for most of the school run fast asleep. I often thought that they could do with a sling, but didn't know the parents well enough to suggest it.

Why shouldn't people have opinions on other people's parenting? This is a parenting website and it's AIBU.

No, Op. I don't think you are being unreasonable. There are 4 yr olds in school these days. Much better for the child and its mother if the child learns to walk along a street than be carried in a sling.

Thymeout I get what you're saying, but the person using the sling isn't the ones posting about it. We are being asked to post about somebody's situation with no idea about their personal circumstances. Ultimately, why does our opinion matter? Why does the OP's opinion matter? Life would be much easier if people weren't so willing to bloody flog each other for every perceived indiscretion or error, especially when we don't know any of facts

*the facts

Thyme exactly! This is for discussion...obviously I'm BU to ASK...AND BU to think it's silly. The majority of posters here seem to think it's fine to lug an enormous child around in a contraption designed for a baby.

out of interest do all of the people saying "don't judge"/ "if it doesn't affect you then don't mention it" etc, never have any curiosity/ judgement about other people's lives? Isn't that part of being human?

OP- YANBU. I would find this odd too.

Yes, beclev, thoughts like that flicker through my mind. Then I remind myself that I don't know the facts. Glass houses and all. But yes, I'm sure that this situation is happening purely to make the parent's life as difficult as possible, deliberately After all, people have no complications in their lives, do they?

Ouch. I get aches and pains just dragging my 5yo DS by the hand. I'm only 5'2 though and he's a tall lad.

Teachers at DS school frown upon mothers who bring a pushchair for their nursery/reception DC at hometime, can imagine their horrified faces if it was a sling

I’d far rather stick a four year old in a sling when they get whiny and tired than have to drag around an empty pushchair just in case, or give them a sodding piggyback.

Obviously I’d rather they walked (and at four, I’d have limited patience with any whining). But if they really can’t go any further, a sling is probably the easiest way to carry them. Packs up small, and the weight is spread over your whole back not just your arms or shoulders.

DS is 10kg and I barely notice him in the sling. I bloody notice him when I have to carry him in my arms, he feels a lot heavier and far less secure. I can go for proper hikes with him, get up and down steps with no trouble, get on buses without worrying about buggy spaces, my hands are free... it’s just much easier.

She will pay for it when she is 50.

I've seen parents carry older toddlers, 3-5 year olds, on their backs in slings which seems fine and sensible to me. 'Baby-wearing' with an older child strapped to your chest out front is odd though. Surely it would imbalance you and be bad for your back? There are plenty of slings that are designed for older kids, usually with the child on your back or side.

Yes - I'm sure slings are a godsend, if you're the right height and proportions. They didn't exist in my day. But surely not for a nearly 4 yr old? Now, it's granny who gets tired and whiny, not my 4 yr old dgs, who's speeding ahead on his scooter. Of course, they bring their problems, too...

Occationally my 6 year will still has a ride sitting on my shoulders if she is warn out and we still have far to walk. But she's getting so tall now, it's getting that little bit harder now to lift up over my head into my shoulders.

Inion yes ...those backpack things people take on long walks are sensible it seems to me. It's usually the Father carrying them though....as you say "baby wearing" a toddler is just odd.

It's never the Dad's "wearing" their toddler on their front is it?

1Dad that's normal in my opinon.

3 and 4 year olds shouldn't be being babied like this! They should be walking

I carry my three year old on my back in a sling. A properly designed sling takes the weight on your hips and across your back and doesn’t damage your back. Many are designed for older toddlers and young children and not just babies. My daughter is very independent and likes to walk most of the time but sometimes she gets tired and sometimes I just need to be quick rather than walking at her pace. Why not a sling? In some shops like our tiny local post office, it’s far easier than trying to manoeuvre a buggy, and I don’t have to worry about steps or stairs. Plus I then don’t have to push an empty buggy if she wants to walk and I have both hands free to deal with her.

I used my sling lots, for ds when he was little and then for dd with ds in the buggy, then we got a buggy board when he was a toddler as he was too heavy plus he wanted a bit more independence. A four year old should be walking, no need for buggy or sling on normal short trips or walking/public transport expeditions. Long fell walks are a bit different. Most small children would object to walking for long periods of time and although you can get cross country buggies they are very expensive (my SEN niece had one and it was great but $$$).

Yanbu.

YANBU. It’s weird.

4 year old in a sling is probably easier than carrying the same in weight and managing the 4 year old to walk while you work out. So my theory is that she is weight training. Good on her. I couldn’t sling DS once he was past 12 months and too heavy for sling days out.

4 year old has been in her sling once in the past three months - so I could get her home on the trains after an operation. Driving wasn't an option. Of course she walks most of the time but sometimes she is ill/exhausted/starving. My back doesn't hurt - one of those rucksack carriers is far worse for your back due to weight distribution. Slinging is far better for my back than in arm carrying too. I have watched porters carrying massive gas cannisters up the himalayas - complaining about the weight of a 4 year old for short periods is a sign of how inactive our society is.