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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
poooooooop · 08/12/2017 08:39

I agree with elpha

It is occasional use when they are older, usually going alongside being active.
In our case hill walking and cycling.
I have to cater for my 8yr old too, and anything my 4yr old is capable of is just too short for 8yr old.

In the past month my 4yr dd has gained 1450 metres in height hrough
a mixture of walking herself and being carried. We go scrambling and do a lot of via Ferrate in Europe with her in her climbing harness, attached to me and then on my back in her sling.

If we didn't have the carrier we would be a lot more sedate due to her capabilities, and both my dc would miss out on a lot of experiences which are important to us.

This does not mean that I carry dd to school 5 mins down the road, or carry her around the supermarket.

caringcarer · 08/12/2017 08:49

A sturdy 4 year old should not need to go in buggy or sling and should be capable of walking or on scooter or balance bike. Exercise is good for kids.

greatbigwho · 08/12/2017 08:52

Caringcarer

So what about when a scooter or bike isn't appropriate? And what's the difference between dragging a child on a scooter and slinging them for 15m?

Jaggythistle · 08/12/2017 09:00

Also what about when it's only now and then and doesn't affect their level of exercise whatsoever?

(Not that you didn't read the thread😡)

poooooooop · 08/12/2017 09:20

caring wtf!.... Did you rtft?!

Equimum · 08/12/2017 09:28

DH still sometimes carries our 4, nearly 5 year old in a pre-school carrier. He is very active and independent, but sometimes, we want to walk just that bit too far for him, or we out later than normal, or he is. Bit under the weather, and it is so much easier than carrying without the sling.

randomsabreuse · 08/12/2017 12:21

I'm just now debating whether to collect my DD from the childminder with the sling or the carrier. Leaning towards the much less comfortable carrier option as it is likely to be slippery so I won't squish her if I fall.

Town is now gridlocked due to numpties with summer tyres and 3 inches of snow hence not taking the car (fully equipped with winter tyres and chains in the boot...)

cherish123 · 08/12/2017 12:57

Not good for your back! I think some people don't like saying "no" - for easier life. Then, we have all done things for an easy life.

DartmoorDoughnut · 08/12/2017 13:44

If it helps my back is totally fine. I’m 5’2” and can tandem carry my toddler (3 and a bit and about 2st 6lb) and my baby (1 and no idea what he weighs but he’s on the 50th centile for weight if you care) it makes long dog walks doable.

My toddler runs and climbs all over Dartmoor but sometimes he needs a rest.

Just because you can’t understand something doesn’t make it silly.

toffeeghirlinatwirl · 08/12/2017 13:55

I'm a bit late to this debate and haven't commented on mn in ages but just felt compelled to add my tuppence worth.
I initially was a bit judgy about this but I've spun right around now after reading the other perspective and doing a bit of googling on slings and things.
I did use a traditional carrier when dc3 was a newborn as dc2, at 18mths, was in a buggy and dc1 had to get to school. I found it simpler than getting the double pushchair set up and out the door and it worked for us.
However, even today, I live in a big city and don't go walking in the countryside so I've been totally oblivious to how popular slings have become. They are seldom seen around here.
My youngest is a big strapping 15 year old and I'm a tad jealous tbh! There are so many slings to choose from and I'd have used them with all 3 dc, especially on holiday or long days out.
Labourisly boring drawn out piece to basically say slings are fab - I don't wear long skirts, but I am slightly pear-shaped and my grey roots are fecking shocking, tbf Wink

ferrier · 08/12/2017 14:26

some people don't like saying "no" - for easier life.
This is simply not the case. I am/was more than capable of saying no to my dc. I just wouldn't choose to say no about this because it suits me to carry dc and get from a to b more quickly. And one more time, my dc are very healthy, physically fit, sociable adults and teenagers.

curryforbreakfast · 08/12/2017 14:27

Seem to be lots of people posting about what good excercise it is and how strong it makes you. Surely the 4 yr old the op posted about also needs a spot of excercise?

THREE. Not FOUR.

Do you actually think that because a child is seen being carried once they don't get any exercise? When you see a child in a car do you assume they never leave it?
Newsflash for idiots: kids can be carried, go in cars, go on bikes/scooters AND walk places!
Hmm

suzy2b · 08/12/2017 15:06

my granddaughter is 2 I wouldn't dream of carry her in a sling , do they make them for that age didn't know they did

GingerbreadMa · 08/12/2017 15:13

my granddaughter is 2 I wouldn't dream of carry her in a sling , do they make them for that age didn't know they did

Do they make car seats, buggies, wheelchairs, chairs and beds for that age? Because I genuinely didnt think they did, I wouldnt DREAM of ever letting my 2 year old rest. If we're not out hiking I make her do constant jumping jacks, burpies and press ups.

Spudlet · 08/12/2017 15:14

Oh, I was going to leave this thread but... the pictures are one of the footpaths near to my home. The one pointing at the open field, as opposed to the barn side, has a ditch that’s a good 6 feet wide, full of water at all times, crossed by a plank bridge- one plank, singular. Perhaps 8 inches wide - less than a foot, certainly. If someone would like to find me a buggy that can deal with that, all year round, in all weathers, they’re welcome to do so.

Once we were over the ditch and in an area sheltered from the wind (which was biting today!) DS got down and toddled quite happily, but it is not appropriate for a small child to run around a farmyard, where there could be large machinery, livestock, loose dogs, or open water - all of which we met today on a short walk. He is safer and happier on my back, and I’m happy for him to be there.

We don’t all live in towns with pavements and manicured parks - thank goodness!

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
Frusso · 08/12/2017 18:13

Similar to the terrain that I was dealing with spudlet
Other option was to walk down the road. That would be a 40mph road which meant in reality cars doing closer to 50 without a pavement and cars parked all down it for most of it, and when it did have a pavement cars parked on it.
I

TWINS77 · 08/12/2017 19:24

Well l couldn’t wait for my twins to put on enough weight on so we could carry them in a sling, when they did l could just about manage an hour and my back was killing me...
I suspect it is easier than arguing with a grumpy child, or the parent just can’t let go of their “baby” so they’ll keep on pretending until the kid outgrows them Hmm

catkind · 08/12/2017 20:22

Catkind - is it fair to a four year old to plan a day's activity that will exhaust him or her?

No, that's why we took a sling for when they were tired. They didn't usually notice how tired they were until we were ready to leave exciting activity, so then they just needed slinging on the way back to the station. Some outings weren't worth doing for a half day, so if we were going to do things at all it was a big day out. With a 2 yr old we might take a pushchair for them to rest, at 4 they're going to walk 95% of the time so easier to just take a sling for the last 5%.

greatbigwho · 08/12/2017 21:56

Catkind this is basically why I use it - I've been thinking for ages and I can literally remember two occasions in the last year or so when we've used it - and I fail to see the difference to carrying her in my arms.

Fuckit2017 · 08/12/2017 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 09/12/2017 03:08

That makes sense Catkind.

Jeanneweany · 09/12/2017 03:24

My son is 28 and I still carry him. Feet tend to drag on the ground.

HuskyMcClusky · 09/12/2017 03:37

Jeanne, probably worth it for the bonding, though.

mathanxiety · 09/12/2017 03:46

Elphaba
Please, please actually read my, DrRanj's, curry's et al posts about how and when we carry our children. PLEASE. I say, once more with feeling, IT IS NOT CONTINUOUS, it is occasional, and it is almost always to promote physical activity for the whole family, or to manage a child where there is no alternative.

Some posters here claim to carry their older children very frequently, and base the claim that they are not doing damage to their pelvic floors on the assertion that they are thus fitter than people who carry them only infrequently.

How occasional is 'occasional'? Is it frequent enough to be sure you could balance on a narrow plank mentioned by a pp, or frequent enough that your child knows not to wiggle or bounce as you navigate planks or other hazards, or swing their head around just for the heck of it, throwing you off balance? Or is it once every few months or so, in which case, how do you know your back and pelvic floor (my main concern is with the pelvic floor) won't be strained by a child who has gone through a growth spurt?

Greatbigwho - some people are talking about extended hikes here (not everyone of course).

Jeffy
You generally realise too late that you have pelvic floor problems. You would have to be really foolhardy to attempt to carry a heavier child on your back if you already knew you had a problem. The point about the pelvic floor is that bad habits catch up with you as you hit early middle age, and onwards. You can then regret at leisure the poor decisions you made when you were young and thought you were invincible, the kegels you neglected, etc.

53rdWay
all those army folk and long-distance hikers carrying around rucksacks for miles aren’t building up muscle strength at all!
Their muscle strength is developed through all round exercise that does not focus entirely on the muscles necessary to schlep a heavy older child on your back (or front). Many are serious weight lifters, developing their legs, arms, shoulders and necks alongside core and back strength. If all you do by way of building muscle strength is carrying a child on your back (occasionally, according to some) then you are not only not developing muscle strength, you are risking injury. So I repeat - Strength training for back issues is not the same thing as carrying a child on your back for a few miles on a regular basis. And I will add, it's not the same at all as carrying a child on your back occasionally, which is apparently what we are really talking about here.

I included the link to the Marine Commando training in response to Jeffy who implied that if superfit (and mainly male) candidates for the Royal Marines could carry 40 lbs then women with no specific fitness level or general fitness or stamina training, and obviously having gone through pregnancy and childbirth whether vaginal or CS, could too.

The final Royal Marines commando test, done at the end of their training- is a 30 mile march with backpacks containing around 40lbs of weight. They know a thing or 2 about fitness and do not get overly concerned by the risk of back pain?
What I am trying to suggest is that there is no comparison.

MistressDeeCee · 09/12/2017 03:53

Well these DCs can't be enormous can they, or mum would never manage. Her back would've given way already and she'd be unable to move. Isn't it strange I've never seen an almost 4 year old being carried in a sling. Clearly you must live in an alternative dimension where women have superpowers. Planet Zorb

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