Why does this bother me?

[Arieal]

A manager at work, (who can be difficult but haven't known her long, so trying to get on with her) has a thing where she will ask me how I am and I say 'fine' as you do, and she will reply 'I'm sorry?' in the snootiest way and make me repeat myself so I feel inferior and silly? It's such an innocuous question with only a bland reply expected so why do this... I do have a quiet voice but she manages to hear what else I say.. Am I being silly about this or does anyone else understand what I mean.

You lack basic manners. Stop digging and grow up.

It's not bizarre was just trying to explain how it is in the jobby Why do you think they have to have all the security in there.

Of course they're pushed off being there. It's soul destroying. That doesn't mean that sullen, surly attitudes are going to help.

Your coach may be fine. She may be a bitch of epic proportions, but you copping an attitude isn't going to make matters any better. You can't control her behaviour. You can control how you react and take the higher ground and not stoop to her level.

I reckon if I worked in the jobcentre I’d get fed up of dealing with people who were pissed off and rude to me all day long.
I doubt she dreamed of that job when she was a kid. She’s just doing what she needs to do to pay her bills.
It’s nice to be nice to people.

EuNamechange, thanks for your post, what you said about the consultant and it reminding me of it, obviously him being rude was nothing really, but it was one of the worst times of my life he did that.

You lack basic manners. Stop digging and grow up

The fucking irony of that^. Your post below shows you lack more that basic manners. Disgusting.

A martyr who has problems with authority figures. I bet you’re estranged from most of your family too, and it’s all their fault

I know what it’s like!! Honestly. Been there many times.
And I know half the staff are as pissed off as the punters. I would be.
Rise above it if you want to get out of there and not feel shit.

She's not been there long to be honest, she seems keen on getting me to do something, which I want to do, and like I said she can be nice and we can have a pleasant chat, it's just this little thing she does at first but I am going to change how I reply. As I've said already

I always say fine thanks anyway, now I will say I'm fine thank you with a smile but can't say how are you, because nobody does that and it would sound fake.

Everyone says how are you back and its not 'fake'. I think you're just looking for some attention on this thread and there is something else going on.

I hope you work it out.

It sounds like she wants to help you. That’s good. It could prove to be a good thing, if it makes you give off a friendlier vibe. It’ll help going forward.

Let's turn this on it's head. What would you LIKE to do, job wise, if there were no obstacles?

Really I just didn't know if I was being paranoid and over sensitive, which I can be, and overthinking it, I just get anxious, even going in there, I know I've got problems, I still think there's no need for the snotty 'I'm sorry?' Which was why I posted on this; didn't expect some of the nastiness though.

she seems keen on getting me to do something

The bitch

We have a manager who always asks how you are. If you reply "fine" he'll respond with "just fine?". He's really into psychology and says this makes you think about your reply. You then think before you reply and maybe say "I'm really good, how are you" or "Not so good because...." Could she be trying to find out how you are really feeling?
If you open up to her about not feeling very confident, she can help with this. She might suggest confidence building or work experience if she knows you've struggling because of your health.
When you've helping someone with a health condition move towards work it can take a long time and involves baby steps. It's not always a case of they've not trying. More often than not they are absolutely terrified of going into work. Explain how you feel and see how you get on.
Good luck!

I don’t understand why you keep looking down your nose at the jod centre. You sound like you have a superiority complex. Yes they have security and yes, some people will be difficult/rude/possibly dangerous. Doesn’t mean you have to be any of those things. Infact I would say showing a bit of human kindness to the workers in there would be more important than your average Joe on the street.

Let's turn this on it's head. What would you LIKE to do, job wise, if there were no obstacles?

, I am very quiet it's just the way I am, also at the jobcentre you don't really tend to ask your advisor how they are?
So you asked why she sounds a bit off, and lots of people have told you that its likely she hoped you'd say something like 'and you?'. Because you're presumably trying to move toward job interviews and a job.
I'm also quiet, but even quiet people have to make an effort to communicate in the world of work - there's a certain level of polite conversation you need to master, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable.
That may not be why she's doing it, but why not practise anyway, so that you can use it in other contexts.

Anxiety is a bitch @Arieal and it can play havoc with your perceptions. In spite of having a tough time on here, I really hope you can see that sometimes we can get in our own way and can be our own worst enemy (I know I am).

She may be a bitch. Probably she isn't. Maybe she's tried and felt like she's been getting nowhere - maybe she really doesn't give a shot? The point is that you can make a change in You life if you want to and sometimes turning situations on their head and looking from a different angle can be a good starting point.

Actually, you can really do something about this. Apropos of the post above, you could make a big difference by answering her honestly when she asks how you are. That will put her off ever asking you again. Trust me. It will work.

This is sad. I think you are probably a lovely person with a great sense of humour. I believe EUnamechange has a point. Perhaps the traumatic experience you had with your sick child and that cold consultant is triggering your response with your coach. Maybe she's not as bad as you think and, maybe, all you have to do is say "Not bad, you?" If she responds the same way as before ask her why she's asking. You have a right to find out why.
I hope everything goes well for you and you get the job you want.

Jobwise, erm work with documents, admin that kind of thing, I'm really quick at reading and processing information, this is what I've been told on courses I've done.
I didn't post for attention, but some of the responses wound me up and I was trying to explain, I felt misunderstood. I was always very quiet when I was little, and people used to comment on it, 'your so quiet', 'speak up', 'can't hear you,' and I used to feel really ashamed of being so shy and quiet. I'm not rude though at all, I can be cold with people I don't know though.

I am a WC Manager and I like to think that all my WCs are polite and respectful however claimants with your attitude make their lives hard . Yes, we have Security Guards but , trust me, they are needed because of a minority of claimants. Your WC wants you to “ do something “ because it is what you are supposed to do ! What do you want to do ? If you want to be S/E tell your WC what you want to do and you will receive help .

Planet middle class

Better than your planet by the sound of it!!

I don't think she is that bad, that was why I was puzzled about it, we do get on, just how are you or how's the job search, I don't know what to say then, but really you know twice in my whole life this has happened.

Blimey I wish I could hire you - I hate admin!!! Nice to see you coming through the initial frustration of the earlier part of the thread. Sorry you've had such a rotten time.