Why does this bother me?

[Arieal]

A manager at work, (who can be difficult but haven't known her long, so trying to get on with her) has a thing where she will ask me how I am and I say 'fine' as you do, and she will reply 'I'm sorry?' in the snootiest way and make me repeat myself so I feel inferior and silly? It's such an innocuous question with only a bland reply expected so why do this... I do have a quiet voice but she manages to hear what else I say.. Am I being silly about this or does anyone else understand what I mean.

I only brought up the consultant as it was the only other time in my life it's happened to me, and he was an arse, though I appreciate on mumsnet, a lot on here will have consultants and doctors as family and friends etc.

That should have read seem a bit like eeyore - not whatever nonsense autocorrect just wrote. But you seem very pessimistic and perhaps your gp could give you some support?

Once upon a time someone else upset you, doing their job your child was their concern not you. Consultants don't necessarily have people skills but if they have the medical skills you get over it, in fact they is common themes of consultants being rude.

So how goes job centre women know you hate this response.

You sound rude it reminds me of when you let a car through and they don't wave gives me the rage, your probably doing the same to this women. You so stressed that a consultant didn't give a shit about you but don't give a shit about this job centre women maybe she has 5 DCs a sick cat and a alcoholic husband who knows?!

Good Morning, how are you today wouldn't kill you as an opener !

We can read what you have said about your other consultants but they are not the ones you have come on here about. We are trying to tell you where you might be going wrong but you seem unwilling to accept this. It IS rude to not ask someone how they are regardless of who they are but you seem unable to accept this and now think everyone else is the problem

If I'm so bad, how come I got on fine and more than fine with my other advisors?

Here's an idea: Tomorrow just try, for once, doing the "fine thanks, how are you?"
See what happens.
Does she lighten up, smile, warm up to you a bit?
If so, problem solved.

I am at the point of telling her that I would like her to assume I am fine as a default setting, and if that is not the case I will update her, just so she doesn't ask anymore

You know people complain that everyone is rude and self centred these days? They aren't, but this is why. dickheads like this.

God you have a chip on your shoulder a mile wide

We get it. You think everyone here is richer than you. We can tell you think that by your condescending and snide remarks about "doctors and consultants as family and friends"

But you're wrong. I'm beginning to wonder if you're just drunk.

though I appreciate on mumsnet, a lot on here will have consultants and doctors as family and friends etc

meaning what, exactly?

It's totally ingrained, never even realised it until this thread!. It is, isn’t it? I get thrown when people don’t ask it back.

Fat fingers! And sweary.

I watched my child unable to breath the consultant was very direct, but DC is still here and for that I'm more than happy to forgive social convention (rationale for sweary none sense making)

I'm beginning to wonder if you're just drunk.

Either that, or a wind-up merchant.

It's all so middle class on here it's funny... I've been on this for years and some of the threads and people's attitudes and opinions.. really rude some of you, I mean calling names, I'm no dickhead believe me.

Who has actually been to the jobcentre on this thread

Maybe you’d be better off soliciting the advice of people who have never been unemployed, and see how they’d handle this situation?

It sounds like you have a major chip on your shoulder.

“I only brought up the consultant as it was the only other time in my life it's happened to me, and he was an arse”

Right, but that brings me back to my earlier point. You will sometimes, but not often, run into people who challenge your bad behaviour. And like I said, these people may be “arses”, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t vocalising what other people are thinking about you. Maybe lots of people find it rude that you don’t play your part in the greeting ritual. Take the hint.

@Arieal why are you using middle class as an insult? Would you like some salt and vinegar for that chip on your shoulder?

Who has actually been to the jobcentre on this thread

Lots of us. Since when did being unemployed mean having no manners?

What bad behaviour??

If I'm so bad, how come I got on fine and more than fine with my other advisors?

Maybe because they were happy for you to continue being rude. Your issue is people confronting your rudeness.
Just because you say you are not rude doesn’t make it true.

You say you are on ESA . As you are seeing a Work Coach , I assume you are in the Work Related Activity Group? If so , your WC will be trying to help you progress towards employment but, knowing you have health issues , he/ she needs to establish how your health is so that it can be decided next steps. So that you can be helped you need to engage with your WC

It's not an insult no but some of you do not have a clue. That's why they need security at the jobcentre for people like me and my bad behaviour... or then again I can just get told off by my advisor, but not directly, just in a nice passive aggressive way.

In what way do we not have a clue? Basic manners are the same whether you are in the job centre or hospital or in work or anywhere else.

I was on ESA, was found fit for work, I still have confidence and anxiety problems, I only posted to see if it was me with my quiet voice or her being a snotty cow, from most of the smug, superior reactions on this I'm guessing it's her.

Op: ‘AIBU’
Everyone: ‘Yes’
OP: ‘No I’m not, you are all wrong’

Wind back a bit here. Why does it bother you, op?