Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you look after a friends child for three days?

110 replies

Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 13:46

Well exactly as it says in the title.

Friend of two years ( have kids at same school) has asked if we can look after her child for three days and nights.

One night I see no problem but three seems a lot. My dd does not get on well with her child as she is pretty hard work. Sulking, complaining, always hungry. It is ok for a bit but three days.

We don’t have much room for her either as I am staying with my parents.

Friend is going to a concert and a selling conference for her job. I mean I would if she was in hospital or something. I also would for my sisters kids and my best friends children.

AIBU?Would you?

OP posts:
BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 30/11/2017 13:47

Not under those circumstances Op. your daughter will be miserable. It’s not fair on her.

Snap8TheCat · 30/11/2017 13:47

Completely depends on the child!

jay55 · 30/11/2017 13:47

Not if they don’t get along with your child, that would be madness.

pullingmyhairout1 · 30/11/2017 13:48

No way. Agree one night but not 3.

lunar1 · 30/11/2017 13:48

No, not a child that mine didn't get on with. It's cheeky to ask. I'd look after them for a few hours for a friend but no more. I've done this for children my two get on with though.

hesterton · 30/11/2017 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hisnamesblaine · 30/11/2017 13:48

Can't you share it with family member of hers? Do a day and a half each?

cheminotte · 30/11/2017 13:48

Nope.

Dozer · 30/11/2017 13:49

Not in those circumstances.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 13:51

She will not stay with her older sister as last time she didn’t have enough food in the house. Apparently she went to bed crying hungry.

So she ssys there is only me.

My parents are not keen either as she relies on them too for a few school pick ups etc

OP posts:
EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 30/11/2017 13:52

My best friend looked after DD when I went in to be induced. That was 2 days. Luckily DD and her DD were also best friends. DD did stay up until 10.45 the first night though! 😴😴😴😴😴😴 So I think my answer is, not in your circumstances.

SuburbanRhonda · 30/11/2017 13:52

Is she aware your children don’t get on? It would be strange if she knew but asked anyway.

And no, I don’t think you should because you’ve listed so many negatives and no positives.

chickenowner · 30/11/2017 13:53

Tell her that your parents have said no. If you're staying with them then they should have a say!

Kentnurse2015 · 30/11/2017 13:54

Nope. 3 nights?! No way.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 13:55

No she is not aware as my daughter plays with her for a bit when she is here.
It’s after a while she sulks if she doesn’t get her own way and helps herself to food in the kitchen which I find quite rude.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 13:56

She says she needs the money for Cheap that she will make over the three days.

So feel a bit guilty. Confused

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 30/11/2017 13:57

Not a chance. Your priority is your own child! And you know she'd be miserable.

This "friend" shouldn't have committed to work or social plans without first sorting suitable childcare. Putting it on saying you're her only option is beyond ridiculous. As you say, it's not an emergency, it's poor planning and she has a right nerve making this your problem.

My parents are not keen either as she relies on them too for a few school pick ups etc

Sorry, what?

BewareOfDragons · 30/11/2017 13:57

I wouldn't even consider it under the circumstances you have described.

"Sorry. No." That is all.

You don't owe anyone an explanation. It won't work for you. End of.

Mookatron · 30/11/2017 14:00

No I wouldn't, not in these circumstances. She can take food to her older sister's house!

You don't need to explain but if you feel like you want to just say it doesn't work because of your parents and space. And also just no.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 14:00

Sorry, what?

She often phones my Dad asking to pick up her child as she is doing something.
She has offered to get mine in return though but they say no as she ends up staying two hours and my Mother ends up cooking them tea.

Thanks everyone. I will not feel guilty.
It would be a nightmare

OP posts:
MinervaSaidThat · 30/11/2017 14:02

Good God no.

How did your parents get involved with her school pick-ups?

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 14:02

No I wouldn't, not in these circumstances. She can take food to her older sister's house!

I think there was food. Child is 4 stones overweight I think the sister tried to police this. Maybe from the wrong angle.

OP posts:
Downhillatfifty · 30/11/2017 14:02

If the only reason why the child can't go back to stay with the older sister is that there is not enough food in the house why isn't your friend sending food for her child? which she should be doing anyway
This suggests that if you agreed you would not only have the pleasure of this child's company but that you would also be expected to provide all the food as well.
Agree I would also do it in an emergency or for hospital stay or if your DD liked the child as a friend and would like to have them to stay.
It sounds like you / your parents already help out so don't feel under any obligation to this request..

MinervaSaidThat · 30/11/2017 14:03

Cross post.

Is she even a good friend to you?

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 30/11/2017 14:03

How did your parents get involved with her school pick-ups?

They pick up my dd as I work. She got chatting to them in the yard as she knew me.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread