DH wants to try for DC5 in case it's a girl.

[wonder1ng]

I'm 37, DH is 42 and we have 4 boys (7, 5 and non-identical twins just turned 3). So two in school now and the twins go to a nursery playgroup 9 - 12.15 on 3 mornings a week.

My AIBU is that I know DH would love a girl and he's now talking about going for DC5 as "you only live once." Obviously, he knows there are no guarantees, but he claims he would be happy with another boy anyway.

I feel conflicted about it because I'm just starting to get some time back now the twins are in playgroup. I worry if a fifth child would mean I'm spreading myself too thinly - e.g. when we go on holiday, I'd like to be able to do things with the boys we have rather than always being in the sideline "holding the baby." Also I worry about added financial pressure on DH with the school fees and everything else (though he claims it won't make much difference) and while I know some families who have 4 DC, I don't know any who have 5!

AIBU to say 5 DC might be a step too far and DH should just accept that he has 2 nieces and focus on them?!

Good point Jennifer.

I think it’s a bad idea. As you say you are just getting some freedom back! It’s much easier for him to say this as he doesn’t have to carry the baby , breastfeed etc.

“You only live once” also means spending some time with your body as your own, and being able to enjoy your boys!

ZOMBIE

This is an old thread from 2017

I have 4 boys, my first 3 were born vaginal delivery and my 4th boy was breech and after a failed manual turn i was booked in for a c section, soon as i knew i was having a section i straight away asked if i could get sterilized and they agreed.
I knew that if i didnt, i would always have that temptation to try for another in the hope to have a daughter, so im glad i went through with the sterilization.
My boys are 14, 12, 8 and 2.
My youngest starts pre school in september and i would like to build a career again and get my body back
I feel so bad when i had my scan with my youngest, i went outside and cried like a baby (and for a week after )
But oh my goodness hes so beautiful, amazing personality and the only one i managed to breastfeed - for almost 2 years. And i wouldnt change him or my other boys (Maybe my 14yo attitude i would definitely change, teenagers are hard work)

Oops old thread... did your DH get baby number 5?

Ah, I've just read the whole thread (knowing it was from 2017) in the hope of an update...

He wouldn't be so enthusiastic if he had to put the effort in that you would. YABU to allow him to dictate what you do with your body.

My dads cousin had 6 girls and wanted to try for a 7th (his wife was dead against)in the hope for a boy. My dad told him to give his head a wobble and that once the girls grew up and got married he would get some sons anyway. He now has good relations with his son in laws so in a round about way got his sons in the end.

If either of you is not happy to go ahead then it has to be a no.