To think some women are smug about not having dessert?

[Tobythecat]

It seems to be mainly the older women, but I've noticed that a few of the social groups that I go to (there are a lot of older women there) seem horrified when asked to pick their three course lunch for Christmas at a local restaurant. They are fine with starters, but a lot of them say things like "I couldn't eat dessert as well, it would be too much for me" in a really judgy tone. The best one was from one of the women who is about 20 stone saying she couldn't eat a two or three course meal

I don't know if it's because women are supposed to be seen as dainty and ladylike and not have big appetites, but it just comes across as so smug.

AIBU to think that some women are really smug about the whole cake/dessert thing?

Good for you, Carrie. I imagine he must feel so ashamed of his mother and sister and I hope he backs you up - you and your daughter - the absolute hilt.

Put eyedrops in the huge portions of dessert... theirs, not yours.

I never have a pudding when I'm out because they are always cheap crap. You pay like a tenner or something and its a slice of a Sarah Lee Gateux that they try to pass off as home made. Basically places just tend to use Iceland's horrid food I think.
I have never ever had a decent high quality pudding apart from the ones I've made at home.

lying I'm all for a healthy lifestyle but these two lunatics are something else. Also applies to cleaning products, toothpaste right down to sun cream because OMG chemicals. Can't wait for the input if we do have kids.

Kerala yum yum!

Before I eat out I always look at the restaurant's dessert menu online before I go I have been know to choose a restaurant based on that menu. If I feel like I'll not be able to manage 3 courses I will skip having a starter. I love dessert and it's the thing I look forward to eating most when I eat out because I rarely have dessert at home.

Oh and I've maintained at 10st 6-7 for a year. Before that I was 13st 7

I'm a 'big girl' and 'like my food'....I'll still order the pudding and pick at it as I'm usually full by then tbf especially if it's part of the cost if the menu.

I can't imagine ever not eating a pudding. I often eat two. I'm half the weight of the 20 stone woman. I know I sound smug.

i meant DF not DD

I prefer starters to deserts, just don’t have a huge sweet tooth... I’m a size 12-14 and eat loads of crap so definitely not trying to prove anything or be dainty!

You really, really should check your own judgy self before you go off on one. Haven't you ever noticed that people are all variations of different from each other?

I am just over 20 stone. I recently went to a fancy dinner out with friends which was a three-course meal. I initially declined dessert because I knew it would be too much food for me. After being given the type of shit you're spouting in your OP, I went ahead and ordered it. I ate nearly half the salad and half the main. I ate the dessert. I was literally so full that I felt ill. Weight has fuck-all to do with how much will fit in a person's stomach. Weighing 20 stone doesn't automatically make me a greedy guts who will jump at the chance of dessert.

It's people like you who make me not even want to go out to eat. I'm fucked either way. Greedy fat arse if I eat it, and judgy pants if I don't.

A for managing three courses, depends where you’re going. Posh restaurants I’d always go for 3 courses as the portions tend to be small. Pub meals tend to be huge so I’d go a starter and main rather than main and pudding

Yabu - I'd say no to dessert because I am skint, nice to know I'd have to voice my monetary situation to you so you didn't laugh behind my back at the fatty that refused pudding

Mum Mum always makes a big thing about not liking desserts and how she never has one when she goes out. However, she always has something for dessert at home!

Bollocks to dessert!

Cheese and biscuits for me and dh🧀 and a glass of

The only time I've seen any coworker eat dessert with lunch was 20 years ago when my manager in that job used to do it.

I don't like sweet things myself, but I've never had to explain myself to anyone about not eating it.

Probably the same ones that sit on public transport eating clementines/satsumas at this time of year,stinking the whole bus out with the sickly smell. Yuck. They wouldn't dream of sitting there chomping their way through a big bag of crisps or a family sized chocolate bar. It's a 'Look at me,aren't I virtuous,eating all this HEALTHY FRESH FRUIT?!' Nah,you're pain in the arse because the smell is making me feel like I'm going to barf. And if I dare open a window,some delicate little flower will complain they're freezing,as they can't bear the feeling of air on their skin.

Couldn’t eat 3 courses unless a fancy place with tiny portions and then I have the cheese
I really don’t like the feeling of being over full and not fond of deserts - really can’t get ice cream at all
But creamy blue cheese 😋

I AM smug about always ordering cheese for pudding after the headlines today about cheese being good for fighting heart disease and stroke!

(Not really. But I find it fascinating how 20 years ago cheese was the devil for your heart and cholesterol and you should eat low fat - now they say cheese is fine and avoid the low fat foods as they are filled with sugar substitutes and it's sugar that does the damage - make your minds up!!)

I wouldn't eat three courses, because I don't want to gain weight. That's my personal choice, I'm certainly not smug about it and what other people are eating is completely irrelevant to me.

I also find I have friends and colleagues who are over invested in what I eat. When eating together they tend to try and explain or justify their choices, it's really bizarre and unnecessary and makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not the food police, I'm interested in my own weight and consumption, but truly not other people's!

In the family I've married into, you're patted on the back for eating 3 courses. In fact, most my family almost wait for me to say I'm going to order dessert before ordering their own. I once managed to eat 3 consecutive desserts, that was a real crowd pleaser, particularly with DH's gramps who happily followed suit.

I don't know who these people are that you're talking about OP, I've never met any and never would want to meet them - they sound like complete bores. Its much more impressive to be a regular 3-course eater and maintain a perfect BMI, because it shows you know how to live a balanced, fun and healthy life.

Nah, I don't do puddings. Either a starter and mains, or mains and cheese.

On the other hand I was at lunch with group of women I meet occasionally but don't know well. One, elfin and without a scrap of body fat that I could see, was ordering and said she had to be careful about carbs (Italian restaurant, go figure). Fairy snow, her business. Then at the end she ordered the most chocolatey, carb-ridden pudding I've seen in ages.

People are weird. Except me.:o