That this behaviour is totally not ok?!

[Angelwendy]

Im on holiday with my OH this week and have just found a few photos of a topless sunbather on his phone that he must have taken earlier (was looking at a photo he had taken of me from last night).
I'm gutted as I'm going to have to confront him about this asap and it's going to ruin the holiday which I've been looking forward to for so long and has cost us a small fortune. Would never have expected this sort of behaviour from him! Absolutely fuming!!!!

You're either some sort of doormat or a bloke, Sunnydaysrock.

Taking topless photos of a stranger when married is totally unacceptable.

Fucking creep.

I’d end my relationship if that happened to me tbh.

"men are still entitled, pervy gits"

Cunts, the lot of them. Thank God we got there so quickly. Nothing to do with the OP, but a nice, simple, broad stroke for 1/2 of the human race.

Lucky you're here @AngelWendy or we'd still be living in denial!

YANBU. Even if yo have an open relationship this is not ok.

Google men in speedos and save to his phone. ...

YANBU. What he did was very disrespectful to you and the woman in the photo. The thing that really bothers me is, if a man wants to look at a topless woman he can easily find a photo online of someone who posed for it consensually so if he photographs a woman without her permission then it seems like the turn on is not seeing her breasts but violating her boundaries. As previous posters have said, what other behaviour does he think is acceptable without consent?

What an absolute dirtbag!! How dare he?!?

Definitely delete the photos OP and then tear him a new one! He’s a complete scuzzbucket. Poor woman, and poor you!

Cunts, the lot of them. Thank God we got there so quickly. Nothing to do with the OP, but a nice, simple, broad stroke for 1/2 of the human race

Here arriveth the NAMALT brigade I see.

I think his reaction to being confronted will be very telling.

You can't be sure now though can you. It could just be a case of never been caught.
Respectful doesn't tie in with taking non consensual pics of other women.
Men like this treat women they see as theirs with respect but others are fair game.
I don't think I could get past this, but we all have our own limits. Is it something you will be comfortable forgiving after an apology or are you able to just not say anything without being creeped out by him?

This is my first day of joining!!

Don't worry, it does seem a little 'strident' at times when you first join.

But give it 12 months, when your understanding has increased, you'll be speaking with the majority voice.

Another poster was right, the internalised misogyny is so well internalised at times that you don't even realise it's there.

@TheCatIsMyEnemy

No, I hate all men.

I got here before the AMALT brigade.

Not the point but lol at the poster who thinks it unreasonable to go to the gym on holiday.

Delete it and replace it with a photo of your unimpressed face and the caption ‘my face when I discover my partner is a hurtful creep’

I think some people are very quick to want to be considered the 'cool wife' - the woman who is ok with her husband wanking over pictures of other women. That's fine...

I don't think they stop for a second to think about the woman who was minding her own business and has no idea that those photos even exist.

Even if this wouldn't concern you from a personal perspective, because you think you have great self esteem, this isn't only about that, this is about invading a strangers privacy.

Boo excellent!

I can hardly believe the way some people are minimising this.

It is voyeuristic, perverted and very 'peeping tom'

I would be so sad, disappointed and angry OP.

No, this is not OK.

This is disrespectful to the woman he was sneaking photos of, and disrespectful to you.

Sorry OP, would imagine you have been looking forward to the holiday and now this. And I'm not sure how he could possibly explain this away.

But don't delete them, keep them as evidence. And just ask him straight, 'Why did you take photos of that topless woman at the pool?'

Urgh, he is a creep.

When he gets back tell him you were on the beach and caught someone take a photo of you!

Disrespectful of you, deceitful, betraying, undermining, repugnant.
All the above to the lady sunbathing.

This would not be a minor infringement of our relationship for me. This would be enormous, and I doubt I would ever feel comfortable with my partner again, hence I doubt very much I could stay with him.

Taking topless photos of a stranger when married is totally unacceptable

Taking topless photos of a stranger without their consent is ALWAYS unacceptable! Whether you're married or not!

What a perv. Sorry OP.

I think you might be overreacting. Does it really have to ruin your holiday?

Things like that don't offend or worry me, but it seems plenty find it 'creepy'

Yet again, some PP showing how incredibly low they set the bar and how much shit they are happy to put up with, it is nothing to be proud of for sure.

Fucking vile and that would be the end for me, as pp said, pp with daughters, would you feel ok if some pervert did this to them or even yourselves...oh but if you don't think it is a big deal, you wouldn't mind would you no self respect

I think some people are very quick to want to be considered the 'cool wife' - the woman who is ok with her husband wanking over pictures of other women. That's fine

Actually I’ve no issue if my husband uses consensual glamour shots, but there would be all out hell to play if I thought he was taking surepticious shots of topless women on the beach for his pleasure later.

I can’t believe a couple of women are ok with it. Is that what we have come to, if you go on the beach you should expect some pervert photographing your tits and his partner accepting it, saying “oh well it’s not that bad”. Seriously raise your standards out of the gutter.

I’m also fairly sure it’s illegal. Plus if the woman in questions partner found out what he was doing I doubt he’d be shaking rhe perverts hand.

Of course this isnt ok, cant believe anyone could!

This is never ok. I would be fuming