That this behaviour is totally not ok?!

[Angelwendy]

Im on holiday with my OH this week and have just found a few photos of a topless sunbather on his phone that he must have taken earlier (was looking at a photo he had taken of me from last night).
I'm gutted as I'm going to have to confront him about this asap and it's going to ruin the holiday which I've been looking forward to for so long and has cost us a small fortune. Would never have expected this sort of behaviour from him! Absolutely fuming!!!!

I'm still really pissed off and feel like he isnt admitting the truth

That's because he isn't. He's insulting your intelligence.

The script. First denial. Then minimisation.

I think you may be experiencing what we in the nest of vipers call 'A Lucky Escape.'

@Huskylover1 Who made you the thread police?

So sorry OP what a horrible thing to happen on your lovely holiday, and then the lies.

Also horrible for the poor woman just minding her own.

OP at least you know he's anpervy creep before having dcs

I have seen this exact same thread before. Lots of these pervs around, huh?

Actually I remember a similar thread to, except I think the photo the last time was 2 half naked women at the pool.

OP I think I’d accept his apology if I was in your position.

Also, I’m with Husky; never seen AnyFucker give genuine advice usually just a spiteful criticism of the post/op/op’s partner.

You're a bloke, aren't you shorty6768?

AnyFucker is usually pretty spot on.

tell him if you find any more pictures you will write PERVERT on his forehead with permanent marker

I'm sorry it's wrecked your holiday OP. However, he's a creep and it would be a deal breaker for me as well.

What he did was unforgivably disrespectful and sleazy. It shows what he thinks of boundaries and consensual issues. There would be no space in my life for a man like that.

Well, he did it. Doesn't matter why.

He's the type of guy who does this. Either you still want to be with him, or you don't. Not much else to discuss.

My view: If I found porn on DH's phone I wouldn't be bothered. If I found inappropriate photos on anyone's phone taken without the subject's consent I would think it was criminal. If you hadn't deleted them I would be thinking about telling the woman and possibly the police. You are not being unreasonable. You haven't done anything wrong. Trust your gut; if you think he is lying about this you will struggle to believe him on anything in the future.

Husband's view: What he did was criminal and despicable. He's a dirty peeping tom. It's the same as taking pervy pictures through a window and saying he was trying to get pictures of the curtains.

That's Voyeurysm. Also illegal!

What a pervert!!!!

OP I think I’d accept his apology if I was in your position.
Accept his apology? He's only apologised for it looking bad because he accidentally caught the woman's boobs in his picture of the pool. From what OP says his apology is a lie.

I said upthread there was a similar thread recently. But that was different because the op said her oh had shared the photos.

If you still want to be with him, I’d accept the non apology and tell him it’s ok if he doesn’t want to acknowledge deliberately taking the topless photos. That way you acknowledge that he is struggling with telling the truth (possibly because he’s scared of losing you) and aren’t perpetuating a dead end argument. He’s immature for sure otherwise he’d not have taken the photos in the first place and someone has to be the grown up in this situation.

Maybe he sent to his friends saying look at where I am or something. I do this type of thing all the time.

He's insulting your intelligence, he is lying, he is blaming it on your 'paranoia', he took pictures of a top naked woman and zoomed in on her boobs without her consent.

I am willing to bet that there has been plenty of signs that he isn't a great man long before this. It's amazing what some people will justify and not see what is staring at them in the face. If he can do this OP then I can guarantee you there has been other signs of him not being a decent respectful partner.

It would be game over for me. I would rather be single than with be with a man who does this, lies about it then calls me paranoid.

Life is way too short for shitty disrespectful men.

I am sorry you are going through this OP.

I do this type of thing all the time.

You're admitting to taking non consensual photos of near naked women/strangers?!

I'd be really upset too. Firstly for perving on another woman when he is supposed to be on holiday with you, if that were me I'd just feel like I wasn't good enough. I would try and talk to him
About it... and secondly for being a complete creep and taking a photo of the poor girl.

And yes, I too predict the OP will be married to the perv in a year's time.

These threads often go the same way. OP has been shown exactly who her partner is and convinces herself it's not that bad. Probably ignoring all the other signs because she is desperate to believe she has a good one.

It's fucking sad but it happens time and time again.

Seriously, being single is much better than putting up with a pervy man who doesn't understand the basics of consent and respect.

I do this type of thing all the time.

Then, putting it bluntly, you are a pathetic idiot.

Why am I a pathetic idiot? I’m not talking about topless women. I’m saying I take pics of things out of the ordinary all the time. Or things to send to people. I don’t know you’d call someone you don’t even know a pathetic idiot!

By the way I’ve never even seen topless women at the beach anyway and I live near what’s meant to be a topless beach. But nope never seen an actual topless women. So no I’m not a pathetic idiot where I take pics of naked women, again I meant things out of the ordinary to say wow - look at this!! I meant maybe he was doing the same thing.

@Timmytoo, I think you missed the bit where there was a zoomed in pic of the woman's breasts