To ask what your bedtime routine with your partner/DH is like?

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

What do you do? Do you go to bed together regularly? Do you sit together in bed and read? Watch TV?

I used to stay up much later than DH and he hated it...he always wanted me to go at the same time, which I wouldn't have minded if he'd been reading or whatever but no...he just wanted company!

Anyway...years later now and it's different again. He walks the dog and I go to bed at about 11...then I go online till he comes back...then we go to sleep/cuddle whatever!

I'm happy with it but I do sometimes think I'd quite like to watch a film in bed...but he's very much disturbed by the idea and thinks the sofa is the place for that!

At the moment, we both go up once DD is in bed because I have a bad back and DH wants to keep me company.

We generally watch TV and I will read or crochet at the same time. At the moment, we take it in turns playing Call of Duty because the new one has just come out and there's nothing like shooting some Nazis to wind down the day

We love our cosy evenings.

This is what happens almost every weeknight evening around 11;30 pm. We get ready for bed, both complaining that yet again it's too late (been on lap tops usually) . My DH takes 1 minute to do his teeth, gets into bed and then has to try and stay awake while I get undressed, do my face cleansing routine, teeth, creams etc... He complains every night that I take too long and he's having to try hard not to fall asleep. I like him to wait for me, then I get into his arms and then we fall asleep together. It doesn't;t last all night though.

At the weekend we often drink wine and watch Netflix's and one of us nods off on the sofa. Usually him and I get annoyed. But he's up an hour before me every morning.

Boring, but there it is.

Lila you sound unhappy, is him up late and getting up early a symptom of something else going in the relationship? Are you both close and chatty away from bedtime?

If it’s just a case of different body clocks but you’d both like some snuggle time could you both compromise? 1st sat of month you stay up late with him, 2nd sat of month he comes up early with you, 3rd Sunday of month you get up early with him, 4th sat of month he comes back to bed when you wake to snuggle and chat etc.

If it’s not part of other issues, could it be he just needs less sleep than you, I’d get restless and twitchy if I was laid in bed long before I was tired at night, and then again in a morning while my partner slept, I’d disrupt my husband and then be tired and grumpy the next day.

DP and I live seperately. On the nights one of us stays over we generally get tired at around the same time. At his house I go to the bathroom, get ready for bed and get into bed first while he tidies stuff up and puts lights off. At my house it's usually vice versa.
He's chatty at bedtime while I'm not. I like to read and he likes to listen to the radio. I often flake out while he's still not quite ready for sleep.

I'm crap in the evenings so tend to be in bed around 8 and potter on my phone and then read until I fall asleep around 9.30. I'm not a tv person so don't feel there's any point staying up for the sake of it. DH comes up an hour after me normally and I'm already sleepy so he scratches my back til I fall asleep . I'm an animal in the early mornings tho 😂. Now we both have a new working pattern we will only be home together half the time in the evenings so I'm intending to make more effort and suggest films and trying to just chat and hang out together.

Old routine: Go to bed same time, between 11:30 - 1 am, get up at 6, dh 6:45. I fell asleep exhausted on sofa at 8:00 pm, would zonk out a few hours. Then again to be 11:30 -1. Dh would start snoring. I wearily get up and sleep in spare room, up at 6 again. Did this for 15 years.

Went to neurologist for migraines and told him our routine, he told me I was killing myself and I needed more and better quality sleep. Now we go to bed 10:00 - 10:30, read on Kindle for about 20 mins. If I even think dh is going to snore I immediately go to the spare room to sleep. If I have a crappy night sleep the night before I don't even venture to our bed, I sleep in the spare bedroom. No sleeping on the sofa.

Sex in morning now, as opposed to 2 am when I was so shattered I never wanted it but would dread it all day because I was so tired!

I go to bed between 10-11pm. DH watches tv and falls asleep on the sofa then come to bed when he wakes up anywhere between midnight and 3am! He hates falling asleep on the sofa yet does it every night without fail, I don't understand why he keeps doing it but I've lost sympathy when he tell me in the morning as if its a surprise it happened!

we go to bed about the same time - after midnight. we usually talk for a bit before i hear him snoring. He's up earlier than me to get the kids up, sorts the dogs out.

With us I think it is a symptom of other things, yes. Our relationship has suffered since a big move, there's a lot going on. I said I wasn't whiney about it, Ragwort, I didn't say it was what I wanted. It's is lonely and to be honest his twitching is barely noticeable, really it's an excuse.

LouLou he's exhausted, that's what I used to do.