To ask what your bedtime routine with your partner/DH is like?

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

What do you do? Do you go to bed together regularly? Do you sit together in bed and read? Watch TV?

I used to stay up much later than DH and he hated it...he always wanted me to go at the same time, which I wouldn't have minded if he'd been reading or whatever but no...he just wanted company!

Anyway...years later now and it's different again. He walks the dog and I go to bed at about 11...then I go online till he comes back...then we go to sleep/cuddle whatever!

I'm happy with it but I do sometimes think I'd quite like to watch a film in bed...but he's very much disturbed by the idea and thinks the sofa is the place for that!

DH and I work different shifts - we virtually never go to bed at the same time, or are even in the house at the same time for long.

We go to bed at the same time (unless one of us really tired). DH would naturally go to bed later than me but both of us found in previous marriages that going to bed at different times isn't a good thing so we don't. He will stay awake longer generally but it's important for us both being in bed together.

I read your post and smiled at how idyllic it sounds...

We have a one year old and a two year old - two year old is and always has been an horrendous sleeper so my and DP's bedtime routine consists of a discussion about what we're going to do tonight to try and get DD to go to bed, that's usually followed by agreeing who's going to go and sit in bedroom with her until she falls asleep. It's normally around 9.30pm by now. That's normally followed by whoever has offered/agreed to do it falling asleep in bedroom, in meantime other one will fall asleep on sofa, then one of us will wake the other one up and tell them to go to bed. That's our routine 7 days a week!

Ah Namechange I remember those days! Ours are 13 and 9 now...:)

I go to bed first with the youngest. Our bed is too small for the three of us so we rotate who sleeps elsewhere. It's not ideal but it's the phase we're in.

Bedtime routine for adults ?

Give over

We watch a film together or read on the sofa (a book for him, MN for me), then go to bed at the same time. Haven’t gone to bed at different times since we moved in together! Not that either of us would mind if one was shattered and the other wanted to stay up longee

I make DS's packed lunch (and sometimes my own), DH lets the dog out for a final pee, he closes the curtains and locks up, I make sure the heating hasn't been left on, one of us checks on DS (with the dog who insists on making sure DS hasn't disappeared since his bedtime), both use the bathroom then get into bed and turn the light off. Rarely awake/alert enough for sex unless we've intentionally gone to bed early but we do make an effort to do that regularly instead of just sitting up watching crap or reading!

We go to bed at the same time, have sex, often take turns to read to each other then go to sleep.

Exh and I never went to bed at the same time, didn’t have sex often then not at all, spent 6 months in separate bedrooms then got divorced.

Turning in at the same time is important to us.

We go to bed together usually about 9pm as dh gets up very early for work.
We usually chat/have a cuddle for a few mins then he goes to sleep while I read my kindle or come on here for an hour or 2.
We're both not really night people sexwise, it's usually a morning thing lol.

I have a bath, then we have dinner at about 9. Watch some TV or have a chat downstairs until about 10. I get into bed with the dog and mumsnet/Instagram while DP has a shower (this is what is happening right this second). We both go back downstairs and brush our teeth and kick the dog out in the garden for a wee. Tuck dog up in bed. Then we go to bed and DP reads to me and rubs my back until I go to sleep. (Disclaimer; no children).

We always go to bed at the same time, it's very important, I think

How can you bear being read to???

Once DS (16 months) is in bed, we usually watch a bit of Netflix (at the moment, it’s the punisher) then go to bed together at 10. We might have a snuggle and talk a little but mostly it’s lights out. DS usually wakes up early and we’re both crap sleepers, so we always have early nights!

We never go to bed at the same time.
Dh is a morning person, I am more of a night owl. Additionally, dh has CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) and quite often is asleep in bed by 9. No way I'm doing that!
I like to have time to myself when everyone else is in bed too.

He goes when he wants and I go when I want, sometimes we both go together.
There is no routine and time can vary between 12.00 midnight and 4,00am.
We get up when we want or when we need, no routine here either.

Can you spot we don't like routine

My husband really annoys me with the 'bedtime routine' Basically hes totally against any at all. He always says he wants to stay up to read or watch a film. Even if he has work the next day at 5am. The prob is he cant stay awake so he just falls fast asleep fully clothed wherever he is. I have to nag and nag to get him to come to bed.
I find it really annoying because im a very light sleeper who often struggles to sleep at all. In order to deal with this i need to be going to bed at a regular time in a winding down way with no phones or laptops on the go etc. I just feel like hes very selfish in this respect. It might be different if he actually stayed awake doing whatever activity he had said he was staying up for but he never does and its me who has to then get out of bed and turn the lights and electric sockets off etc because hes just fast asleep wherever he is. And if i nag him to come to bed it takes so much energy that im fully awake again by the time ive got him to bed so im just sat there wide awake whilst hes snoring away beside me.

(its not about avoiding me physically this btw we do have an active sex life its just not in the evening)

anyfucker thats a bit mean! Sounds lovely im very jealous.

We don’t have a routine. We kind of just go to bed when we’re tired. We don’t expect the other to go to bed just because the other is. Sometimes we go together but mostly it’s separate..

He has to be up early so he often goes to sleep about 9is so I’m quiet when I go bed, I also suffer insomnia and am often up and down all night or tossing and turning so sleep in the spare room way more than I sleep in the bed with him. He knows if I’m not in bed that I’ve had crap night and is extra considerate when getting up at 4am.

People often assume because we usually sleep apart that we must never have sex or be having marital problems, hahahahha, we’ve been together 18 years and have enough sex, just not in bed at night.

I'm surprised how many of you have separate rooms!

We have a 5yr old and a newborn. Some evenings I'll be upstairs from when I put the 5yr old to bed, sitting up in bed feeding DD2 and trying to get her sorted. Most nights DH falls asleep on the sofa. He'll wake up in the middle of the night, when he's cold, and come up to bed. Last night he came up to bed at 6am!!
During the week he makes more of an effort to come up to bed before he falls asleep, but on a weekend he falls asleep on sofa 9/10.
Things might change once DD2 in her own room. Then we'll make more of an effort to come to bed together, even if it is just to cuddle up while we watch TV.

I think it makes a difference that our house is sort of open plan in terms of our bedroom. Its a sort of mezzanine above the living room. So if anyone is in the living room with the lights on and the tv on etc it impacts on the person in bed. I hate it so much but hopefully we are moving soon to a paradise which has ACTUAL DOORS AND WALLS.

tip

When I am ready for bed if dh is still up will fall asleep on the sofa fully dressed I just lock up, tum off most lights, turn the tv down down and just go to bed

Why are you stressing about the welfare of a grown man ?

Generally go to bed around the same time, but not always, we go when we want to. Cuddle, have sex, read, watch a bit of telly, it all depends how we feel at the time. Always kiss and say I love you, and goodnight though.
Why is it such a big deal for some people to insist they go to bed at the same time as their partner? Genuine question.
And what is it with the reading to one another???